Family situation, how to handle?

[RibenaMonsoon]

Morning
NC for this as DH knows my username and I really don't want to upset anyone. I'm just really needing some advice to see if I'm being U.

We are going abroad for Christmas next year to spend it with DH family. He immigrated to the UK 13 years ago.

Taking DS with us, he will have just turned 2 by then.

MIL is very excited about having a grandchild and so far she has visited for 3 weeks when he was born and we Skype regularly. I also send her pictures and videos of him via what's app.
I suggested we buy her a surprise plane ticket for her birthday this year to come over for DS first birthday as I want both sets of grandparents to be there.

She is asking that myself and DH leave him with her for a week when we visit on Christmas and go off and have "a break".

Now I'm grateful for the offer and perhaps a romantic 1 overnight stay somewhere would be lovely for us but I don't want to leave my 2 year old son for a whole week.
It will be new surroundings for him in a new country, being left with someone he doesn't know very well.
When she suggested it, my husband immediately said, maybe 1 or 2 days will be lovely. But she's insisting on a week.

I adored both sets of my grandparents and they passed away when I was quite young. I want DS to know both sets of grandparents and have a wonderful relationship with them like I did mine.

AIBU when I say no to a whole week? I know she's overseas and rarely sees him. I know that the distance is difficult for her and she loves DS so much. But I don't consider a week away from my son "a break". To me it would be hell on earth, especially at Christmas time.
Plus it will be unsettling for him, he will have only ever have seen them on Skype and his first birthday prior to this visit.

Some advice on whether I'm BU and if not, how to deal with this without upsetting anyone would be greatly appreciated.

YANBU. At all. I don't judge anyone parent that has child-free holidays, everyone's family set-up is different as is their child but if you are not comfortable withat the notion it's most likely because YOU know your DS will not be happy.

My eldest son is 5 years old, the most I will let him be away is an overnight with the MIL. She is very pushy and always asks for a 'proper' holiday/weekend 'alone' with him. If he has a sleepover with yiayia, it has to be IF he wants to go with the understanding that if he changes his mind or gets homesick he has to come back immediately.

She is from a culture where family has as much time with the children as their parents, her own mother practically raised my husband and no one thought anything of it. That's not how I do things and I'm not comfortable with it, end of.

My second son is 10months old and hasn't had a night away from me yet and jesus the grief I have had from the woman!!

Stick to your guns.A night or two towards the end of your comfortable sounds nice, but I don't think YABU at all to refuse a week. I worry that she thinks that would be remotely ok.

*IF you are comfortable.So many typos but hopefully you catch my drift OP!

I've had my Grandchild overnight and a few days, since she was six weeks old.

She is very attached to my DD and since she turned two, I would say no to more than a couple of nights, unless it was an emergency, because it wouldn't be fair on her.

It's less upsetting for them if they are left younger, but from a year old, they want their main caregivers.

When she is three, it will be different because she'll have more understanding and I'll make the stay fun.

Judge whilst you are there, but for now, if needs to be made clear that it might not happen.

Maybe just reassure her that she can have loads of one on one time during the day, and if you're happy to do so, hang back a bit and let her do bathtimes, stories, maybe take him out to the park for an hour or so to get to know him. I can understand how she must feel, being so far away and knowing your parents must see him 'all the time'.

It's not unreasonable to not want to leave him for a week though, but perhaps all she needs is to know that you will facilitate special time for the 2 of them so he can get to know his granny properly.