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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report DP to the police for growing weed

73 replies

EnoughAlready999 · 12/05/2017 20:50

I don't agree with it and I hate the smell. I've told him I don't want it there. I am joint owner of this house.

OP posts:
FannyWisdom · 12/05/2017 20:50

Be quick then.

Likely be legal soon.

Moanyoldcow · 12/05/2017 20:53

If you do, you should be prepared to break up - I doubt your relationship could survive it.

Personally I'd go for the ultimatum stop or leave and be prepared to carry it out. However, I get the impression he knows you hate it and continues anyway so sounds like you've reached a dead end in any case.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 12/05/2017 20:55

YABU. If he does something that you hate that much, and he won't stop it, you should end the relationship. He's not hurting anyone else, assuming he's just growing it for his own use. Arguably he's not hurting anyone else if he's growing it for others to use either.

Reporting him to the police would surely end the relationship anyway.

ForalltheSaints · 12/05/2017 20:56

If he stops and destroys it, then not. Be prepared to end the relationship if the police need to be involved.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 12/05/2017 20:58

Be prepared for them to do nothing about it. I reported a small canabis grow multiple times nothing happened. Unless he is doing it on a large scale prepare for them not to care.

HildaOg · 12/05/2017 21:00

The smell is pungent so I don't blame you but wouldn't it be better to split up?

sooperdooper · 12/05/2017 21:02

I think the police have better things to deal with personally

The issue is with your relationship, he doesn't care that you hate it, you'll never accept he wants to smoke it. If it's a big enough deal for you to consider calling the police I'd be reconsidering the relationship as a whole

gammaraystar · 12/05/2017 21:02

The police don't give a shit. I report my neighbours regularly. To the police and their landlord. Their both say they don't do anything about "social use". I live in Hampshire. I guess your police force may differ though.

Tapandgo · 12/05/2017 21:03

Destroy the plants yourself.
If you don't and someone else reports him, you will likely to be held jointly responsible if you are allowing it in your property

Original poster
EnoughAlready999 · 12/05/2017 21:03

He just said I can go as he's not going to stop it. Doesn't give a shit about our family. Why should I go?

OP posts:
MissJC · 12/05/2017 21:04

If you live in the same house then you can be held accountable too so you may just be dobbing yourself in along with him. I would look into it a bit to make sure you wouldn't get into trouble also.

FizzyGreenWater · 12/05/2017 21:05

More effective to just destroy the plants.

Oysterbabe · 12/05/2017 21:05

Do you have kids?

Original poster
EnoughAlready999 · 12/05/2017 21:06

That is my worry Tapandgo.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 12/05/2017 21:06

Then tell him you will destroy the plants each and every time.

Report him for the plants and threatening behaviour if he gets angry about it.

Your house too. You can and should destroy the plants. Hopefully that will make him ship out!

Wolfiefan · 12/05/2017 21:07

Is it in the house you share? You could get in trouble too. Who pays rent or mortgage? Who owns the house?

AntigoneJones · 12/05/2017 21:08

No don't do that, you could get into trouble as well, although as other people have pointed out, it will depend on the policy of your local police. Here, for example, they would probably send out a SWAT team and arrest everyone in the house. On the other hand, you may live somewhere more civilized.
I honestly think it would be better to split reasonably amicably rather than involving the authorities, who do, after all, have better things to do.

AddToBasket · 12/05/2017 21:09

Do not get the police involved in this. You are essentially using them as a weapon in your relationship. They have better things to do.

Tell your DP that the plants will need to be out of the house by Sunday. If not, you will destroy the plants and any more that appear in your home.

blerp · 12/05/2017 21:13

"He just said I can go as he's not going to stop it. Doesn't give a shit about our family."

Yep, heard that one before. That's weed dependency not doing anyone any harm.

Original poster
EnoughAlready999 · 12/05/2017 21:13

They're in the loft and I can't get up there. He pulls himself up from a short stepladder.

OP posts:
aquashiv · 12/05/2017 21:15

A candidate for weed killer

Wolfiefan · 12/05/2017 21:17

Who owns the house or rents it?

Moanyoldcow · 12/05/2017 21:17

Your relationship is clearly over. Sell up and move on. He's made it clear he doesn't care about your feelings.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 12/05/2017 21:20

Yep, heard that one before. That's weed dependency not doing anyone any harm.

Can I borrow your copy of reefer madness please, is it on dvd or vhs you have it?

PaintingByNumbers · 12/05/2017 21:23

I dont think the police care if its for personal use. your leccy bills must be high but its still cheaper than buying it in, which I guess is the alternative?