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AIBU?

To report DP to the police for growing weed

73 replies

EnoughAlready999 · 12/05/2017 20:50

I don't agree with it and I hate the smell. I've told him I don't want it there. I am joint owner of this house.

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fannydaggerz · 13/05/2017 23:36

I will dispose of it for you for free Grin

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EnoughAlready999 · 14/05/2017 07:51

I did say that my only new year's resolution was to LTB but that's easier said than done. We have an 11 year old and 7 month old.

I don't know what would happen with the house. He has no intention of leaving. I put the deposit down and will get that money back as I had a special document done. But he pays the mortgage, I'm a SAHM.

Feel free Fannydaggerz!

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Casschops · 14/05/2017 07:59

Also are selling timber sprayers for 9.99. I use one at my allotment to water the plants and often use it for weedkiller on the paths. It's got a very good range and if a person --you were to stand in the loft hatch they would be able to kill a fair few plants.

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MissShittyBennet · 14/05/2017 08:07

Does he smoke it in the house?

Tbh I doubt the police would take much interest with such a small amount, and I'm strongly in favour of legalisation myself, but honestly this would be LTB behaviour from me. If he's prepared to grow what is after all still an illegal drug in the home he shares with you and your two children, if his desire to smoke is sufficiently important that he thinks he gets to override your wishes about the use of your home, fuck him.

It's the principle really. I wouldn't be that impressed with a small increased fire risk and what sounds like probably £50 a month from what I imagine is probably not a massive family budget as you are a SAHM, but those are minor in comparison to the attitude he's showing.

If he'd been doing this since you moved in together and it was the accepted status quo, he'd have a stronger argument. But it seems he can't even say that!

Also, think about going back to work if you do want to LTB. It sounds like this is one on a list of things, if you had a new year's resolution.

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Radishal · 14/05/2017 08:15

How does he pay the mortgage? I mean , does he have legit paid employment?
The fact your are a SAHM doesn't mean you shouldn't leave . Obviously it will be extremely difficult for all sorts of reasons, not least financial. But your 11 year old goes to school smelling of weed - they must do - isn't that a powerful argument for getting out of there.
Unless he is dealing, it's unlikely the police will do it for you. Even then, not sure.

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Cheby · 14/05/2017 08:19

Don't leave the house. See a solicitor and get legal advice about what you are entitled to re a separation. I'd document (ie photos) the fact that he's growing weed, it might be important when it comes to custody etc. I'd then report to the police at the same time as starting divorce proceedings and requesting that he leave the family home.

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GloGirl · 14/05/2017 08:21

Really, what you want to do is create a shit storm of such magnitude he'll be forced to leave you.

Don't do it. Remove yourself. Leave the bastard. Seek legal advice about splitting from a family solicitor. Make a plan. Find out about social housing in your area if needed.

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randomuntrainedcuntowner · 14/05/2017 08:22

Call the police, report him, and get him removed from your house as you don't want drugs around your children. Just do it. I would not put up with this shit - not in a million years.

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MissShittyBennet · 14/05/2017 08:27

He unlikely to be dealing much on 2 to 3 plants.

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EnoughAlready999 · 14/05/2017 09:24

No he's not dealing. He's done it to save money as he was spending at least £200 a month on it. He started doing it last summer. I remember he was sat researching it on his phone while we waited for my 20 week scan.

The house doesn't smell of it so DD1 doesn't.

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EnoughAlready999 · 14/05/2017 09:30

If I told a solicitor or Women's Aid would they report him? I want to tell them just so they have the whole picture but not sure I want the police at the door.

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MissShittyBennet · 14/05/2017 09:53

Wouldn't have thought so. There are obligations to report when a child is in danger but I don't think this qualifies.

When he was spending that £200 a month, was it money you had easily to spare? I would think for most people that's quite a significant expense, especially with another baby on the way and only one income. Did you ever discuss it then?

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specialsubject · 14/05/2017 10:05

Owner occupier drug farmer? That's a first.

Police won't care as what happens in your house is your problem. It is extremely difficult to get warrants, needs a reliable witness victim who will stand up in court. They are unlikely to think you will do that and your posts bear that out.

Don't know how you get rid of a deadbeat spouse but perhaps someone else does.

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WellThisIsShit · 14/05/2017 10:07

No they wouldn't, and anyway, you don't have to give your full name or address to get advice from WA or other helplines.

I think you are in need of facts, and legal standing, not emotive advice. You need to know how this effects your own legal standing and how seriously this will be viewed not just in terms of reporting it but how family courts might view it in the event of a split and you trying to stay in the house with your children...

Good luck.

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MissShittyBennet · 14/05/2017 11:34

OP does he smoke it in the house? If he does, I suspect it probably does smell of it at least a bit, and there'll be an impact on the children's lungs. Did he smoke around you when you were pregnant?

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Radishal · 14/05/2017 12:59

You said you hate the smell but think your dd doesn't smell of it. My mum was a smoker. I smelled. Your dd will smell (so sorry to say this).
I didn't realise till I left home.

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SheSaidHeSaid · 14/05/2017 13:04

If you want to leave him concentrate on that. I cant see the police being interested, especially for such a small amount.

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Littlebunnyboy130 · 14/05/2017 17:05

The risk of fire is from the hot lamps used, not the plants themselves. They get very hot and use a lot of power. It's dangerous.

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LakieLady · 14/05/2017 17:40

I'm pretty sure that if you both live in the house and you are aware, then you'd both be liable if he got nicked for it.

That's how come I have a conviction for cultivation of cannabis when I lived in a shared flat. Blush I couldn't really claim I didn't know what the plants were, as there was a "legalise cannabis" poster on the stairs and a "how to grow your own weed" book on the coffee table in the sitting room.

This was in 1976 though, so probably a bit of a bigger deal back then.

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EnoughAlready999 · 17/05/2017 23:03

I feel like I'm having a panic attack about all this now and even more so because my family (parents & brothers) know about it but still nothing changes. I hate myself for the decisions I've made in life and almost feel suicidal. I can't start again so I might as well quit.

He is adamant he won't stop smoking it and gets quite nasty if I suggest that. There's no point bringing it up again.

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TalkinPeece · 17/05/2017 23:11
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PeaFaceMcgee · 17/05/2017 23:15

Of course you can start again OP... You just need to find the path. Can you get some legal advice re the house? What are your obstacles?

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Lucked · 17/05/2017 23:23

I bet a neighbour would have a longer ladder!

I would destroy them BUT getting out is more important. It is never going to get better by not leaving your life is on pause and when you finally do leave (it's inevitable) you will be so angry with yourself for the lost time.

Can you force a sale?

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