Aibu? To dislike hearing everything again?

[Pandamanda3]

Ok so yesterday I received my long awaited hearing aids!
Apprehensive but excited, that maybe I would finally hear the phone, answer the door and not miss my delivery's or hear my sons shouting me (although it is quite convenient at times to not hear them) lol!
And maybe id finally not feel such a fool each time I'm in a conversation and repeatedly need to say sorry? What did you say?
So along I went.
I was greated by a lovely lady who took the time to thourally explain everything to me, I was blown away tbf by the level of tech used to personalise each aid. It was fantastic to see just how it all worked.

Then we get the fine tuning done and she pops them in and 'oh my god' I jumped feet.
I thought ffs she's got the volume wrong.
However she told me that this is my prescription and it shows just how much hearing I had lost, she explained iv basically got to get used to them and Teach my brain again. She said I did have quite a profound loss but it's certain pitches tones and sounds in particular making it hard in my case.

So I put my big girl pants on and called by tesco on way home I figured if I could do tesco in high volume I'm on my way.
Walking around I felt like I was in another world every foot step, ever squeak of the trolly at pitch volume and I felt like my brain was going to explode.

Needless to say I headed out and actually kept them in until about 8 last night because I had the most immense head ache and I actually found my peaceful muted world " better"and Since then iv just keep arguing with myself that I need this, I should be grateful (which I am) but more so that some people would kill to even benefit from the aid.
Iv tried & tried today which again has left me with a wopper of a headache.

So Aibu? To actually prefer to happily live in my own hearing zone and maybe give them back?
I hope this makes sense it's hard to explain but I'm finding the whole thing actually painful I was so excited and feel a bit deflated which is stupid I know but I totally did not think it would be so overwealming.
Iv other health issues like I have to catheterise, I'm also on a liquid diet so can't eat solids due to further issues and i have sever anaemia too 😒
and I'm recently divorced (not that I can blame this on the narc) but just feeling in all a bit low, with zero self-esteem etc.. And feeling rather shit if im honest 😕

So PLZ don't flame me, I'm just after any advise? If you've been there and have a solution.
I guess I'm just needing to vent, a handhold! Oh I don't know maybe iabu, am I?

I don't know from experience but would guess that it will take quite a time to retrain your brain to hearing and processing all of the sounds you'd lost and had forgotten about.

I'd say stick with it, a couple of days or even weeks isn't long enough to judge.
if it's unbearable after 2 weeks to a month, go back to the provider and ask for their advice.

Don't go full tilt all at once . It's a loud world out there, they should have told you to take it gradually. I wasn't allowed to drive home wearing my first one as they said all the noise would be distracting. I could maybe tolerate a couple of hours a day at first. Go slow, your brain needs to retune as well to the stimulus. I promise you they are marvellous compared to nothing when you get used to them.

YANBU at all though. I spent the first week whispering (how loud my voice sounded!) and telling people 'your world is very loud you know'. Then getting to breaking point and literally tearing the aid from my ear.

I now reach for them as soon as I wake up in the morning and they are the last thing I take off at night. They are as much a part of me as my hands and feet. You'll get there but don't rush.

Have a big internet hug as well, I have other health issues which can really drag you down and I remember how awful the period around my divorce was. You WILL get there, it's just very upsetting when something like this seemed like the best thing ever and turns out to be yet another thing to be struggled with and learned. Don't give up.

You will grow to love them, particularly when the children get rowdy and in your face and you can flip the battery compartments open and use them as very good ear plugs instead.

You do get used to it eventually, it takes about a week or so. But to be honest I don't use mine. I hate trying to hide them behind my ears. I hate the ringing sound when i press a phone against my ear and I can't use earphones or headphones either when wearing them. The batteries don't last long. You have to open the battery compartment when you remove them at night in order to conserve the battery life. I have small children who mouth things so I live in fear of one finding the tiny battery and swallowing it.

I can imagine this would be overwhelming!

Do you think it's something that you need to build up to gradually over time, or is it too unbearable and you'd rather not bother?

I'm not hearing impaired, but I have sound sensitivity, and I can manage as long as I am in control of the sound, if you see what I mean. It means I sweep rather than hoover as much as possible, but use over-ear headphones with some music or a podcast when I do need to hoover. Other people hoovering in the house gives me anxiety!

Maybe if you start off at home with sound that you can anticipate - the television, or radio or something, then build up slowly to the horrible, unpredictable outside world of screaming children and car horns!

I imagine it's similar to starting to wear glasses. It took me weeks to get used to mine (it's shocking how bad my vision was and how used to it I was) and I almost gave up in the idea.

It's been totally worth it though.

I am profoundly deaf btw so without them I am lost completely. I can't use headphones because they don't go over the HA's and aren't loud enough for me to hear anything but I can use a specially amplified phone with one ear (not quite as deaf as the other!) but don't put the phone up to the ear with the aid in! That doesn't work well. So I'm at a stage where it isn't really optional if I want to be part of the world.

Angelika where do you keep yours at night. Mine go in a special dry box with an airtight lid or in a special electronic box that puffs warm air at them to keep the electronics perfectly dry. These would keep yours safe from little fingers.

What sort of ear mould do you have op? Does it completely fill your ear?

My DM found the same thing.

Like you she had lost certain frequencies and found it really disorienting to gain them back initially.

In the end she stuck to it, but for a week tried to avoid overstimulation - being at home, quiet environments etc

After about 2 weeks she was fine and now feels lost without them.

I'll be honest I'm glad she did stick with it. Selfishly it was getting increasingly difficult to converse with her. Telephone calls had me endlessly repeating myself and in person we couldn't talk if there was any background noise e.g. TV/Music. Group conversations were very difficult- she just couldn't follow them and tbh didn't understand just how loudly we had to speak so she could hear. Ok I'm your own home - no so great in a restaurant for example when you're having to "shout" about a medical appointment or similar.

The latter was the biggest issue for her. She's very social but found herself "withdrawing" because she couldn't hear what people were saying without endlessly asking people to repeat themselves.

Honestly I'd try and stick with it if I were you. Not just for yourself, but family and friends. Try my DM's approach if you can - you may have been a bit optimistic with Tesco so soon!

Best of luck

oh shit im rather worried now as im waiting for aids fitting in both ear! would anyone mind me asking a few questions?
you cant use a mobile with them in?
i know that obv you cant use in ear headphones ( havent been able to comfortably anyway as have very small canals/holes)but what about the over ear ones?
roughly how long do the batteries last?

crap think thats all the questions i have, thanks

My DM uses her mobile with hers.

I can't answer any other of your questions though.

Oh thank you for all your responses 'it's not just me then' wow so many people with the same issue, im just trying to read everybody's responses (had to rescue the backed potatoes which were rather torched ha!)
Mr slant sorry your unable to choose if you hear or not, I thought about this and felt bad as some people really don't get a choice.
It is a loud world though as one p&p said

My ear buds seem to be round like plug the whole ear, she said I may need a moulded set as my ears are small and an odd shape 😕
I tried to use the phone too and couldn't hear a dam thing, I ended up all in a faf crying in tesco car park 😣 not good!
My ones don't turn down is that normal?

Thanks again guys you made my day ☺️

Kit cat - I cudnt use the phone no but maybe it's just me!
And the lady said to me the battery life is rubbish but did give me lots of extra ones and you get a card to go get more from the clincs

Oh she did mention an app!
Which I found hilarious and kids are amused by the idea that apparently if I down load the app I can turn myself on and off a touch of an iPhone andoid 😁
I can imagine I'll be getting muted by the kids for giggles often (iv not down loaded it ha!)

If they're NHS then they're not worth the stress. Everyone I know who's had them never wear them and ended up forking out £3-6k on private ones apparently they pick up different environments a hell of a lot better

I took a while to get used to mine too - I had to take them out the first time I went shopping! But like a pp they're the last things to come out at night.

For another pp - batteries on mine last around a week but yes I do take them out at night and turn the batteries off. Some phones I can use, some I can't. I can manage with in-ear headphones and the volume up so don't know about over-ear ones I'm afraid. I'd guess not but haven't tried?

For the record my DM has NHS ones.

Her logic was to try them before paying for private ones if needed.

Her main priority was the private ones are more discrete. However she's now very comfortable with the NHS ones - she just grew her hair a bit.

Obviously people have different experiences though.

I have digital ones which adjusted themselves to help with settling in gradually volume increasing. Even then they said don't wear them all the time but build up. I can imagine that NHzs ones which don't have this function you would need to build up.
I can't wear bud head phones but have a blue tooth device I wear around my neck to use which works instead of headphones - I can now listen to my iPhone without anyone realising it's on . No problem with a phone.

What make/model are they. If you have full ear moulds you either have unusual shaped canals or are very deaf (helps to stop feedback). My battery life is around 4-5 days for my 'posh' pair but they are slimline so need smaller batteries which is a PITA as they need to work really hard. My NHS pair (complete with glitter ear moulds - ask for the children's catalogue when you go back for the next set of moulds, they need replacing as they change shape and become less efficient) last longer as they are bigger HA's and can take a bigger battery.

If you download the app and pair them up it's brilliant, you feel quite space age controlling them with your phone (but then I remember the days of a dial on the back to roll volume up or down!). Mine also works as a transmitter so on the app I can use the microphone on my phone and if you are in a super noisy environment then you can place that by the person you are listening to and it goes direct to your ears. Or you are DS3 and steal my phone and use it to start whispering into my ears from another room. Not freaky at all. Oh no. With mine I can also stream phone calls/music/sound from videos which enhanced my life so much. Music from 'outside' my ears gets distorted because the HA's have to push the sound up so high for me to hear but playing direct to the HA means I can listen to music again properly. I will admit I cried the first time!

I''m on the opposite side of the chasm to you though. I've been offered the chance of pioneering surgery which could replace my hearing almost perfectly for the first time in 25 years without the need for devices or batteries. I'm terrified, not being able to turn the world off. How will I sleep with all the noise? Aaaargh!

Oh wow I never actually considered private ones?
Sounds stupid but I figured nhs would be the same as them all.
Mine are teneo s/s+ if that means anything to anybody

This is a pic, can anybody say if they are a good set?
The noise is really unbearable I just tried again and instantly everything in the background sounded like it was ontop of me and I pulled them straight out.
I just don't know how im going to learn to tolerate them.
So are private ones much different in quality of sound?
And does anybody know why I can't hear a thing on phone? Im worried about that to be honest, my loss has gone from normal to bad in a short time, not sudden but over a year.
She did say it was a profound loss and when I asked as we all probably do 'why? Why has it gone. I was told mine was AGE RELATEd 😳
Bloody age related im 41 wtf!

I have had mine 6 months and you do get used to it. I have the volume control low when I am out and up higher when at home. Certain things still drive me mad though. It can't bear OH to rustle a crisp packet. He has to tip the crisps onto a plate. Drawer opening and closing, is another one. It sounds like crashing and bashing. Mine can be programmed by my phone or iPad for cutting out sounds in certain areas. I don't wear them all the time because I too like to,switch off In My own world.

I was recommended to spec savers for mine by about 6 people, they were superb. And you get 4 years free batteries. I thought OHs hearing was worse than mine so he had a test too. They told him he did not need aides.

Mr slant wow have you been offered cocklea implants? That is a big step as you say especially going full time hearing, but if it is any comfort my ex-mil lost her hearing at about 8 and she only had her Opp about 22 years ago so she wasn't a child. But it has changed her world I remember when I had my 1st son she said the sound of him cooing made her cry as she felt so blessed to be able to hear that.
Looking back I do think she was great to have managed so well 'espec when you look at me in a tantrum now ha!
But I think you won't regret it although it's a big step and big opp I do wish you the best of luck and hope that it is great for you.

Well Siemens is a good brand. You've got the little ear buds and they are only small so your hearing loss probably isn't severe yet. Age related is because the little hairs die off in the ears I believe so we lose frequencies over time (I'm only 42, have been wearing HA's for a good decade now, hearing loss started in my teens but for different reasons to you). Having a quick google they look like a decent set. It's just time to get used to it.

Have you downloaded the app yet? Being able to turn the sound down will make a big difference or if you have two just wear one for a while. Your brain will have adjusted to less signal over time and needs to be retuned to working with all the sound you are getting.

I survived fine with my NHS ones for a good long time it was only when the loss became profound in my 'good' ear that I went privately. You would probably get those very same ones just for a hefty price tag if you went private. The NHS has VERY good procurement deals with the big companies so even if you lose one it only costs about £60 to get a replacement.

My private ones are a class above the NHS ones but I am about as deaf as you can get and cope in the hearing world, this meant that the NHS ones didn't have the technology to cope and there was a lot of distortion. I have the absolute top of the range pair now, made in conjunction with Apple and there is a definite difference. Saying that they still don't give me sound like having 'ears' would. They are the best substitute possible but for £5k I was hoping for better really. Still music again is just the best and streaming my phone to my HA's is brilliant. I have to go out now but I'll show you photo's of mine when I get in. Are you on FB, there are all sorts of groups (including one for 'pimping' your HA to go with your outfits, no reason why we should stay beige!)

My cochlea is perfect so hopefully I can have an operation called a stapedotomy where a 0.4mm prosthesis is inserted into my stapes. Rather impressive microsurgery! Or a bone anchored hearing aid where I basically become a cyborg and have the HA attached to the bone of my skull via a titanium rod (that I can still take off though!)

YANBU, if it's how you feel.

I have hearing loss issues, and has a small operation recently, and couldn't be happier to be able to hear again. However, my hearing still isn't 20:20 - or whatever the perfect hearing equivalent is! - I would love to be able to hear at that detail.

I find the muted world so depressing and frustrating. I couldn't hear what my DC are saying - I had to ask them to repeat things all the time, stop what I was doing and go over to them and listen closely. This sounds minor, but when you have to do it all the time, it is draining and annoying.

You can't hear conversations on the fly, so when I'm, say, whizzing round the kitchen, I couldn't converse with DH, as I just couldn't hear him. It's frustrating for both of us. Again, it sounds minor, but when it's all the time, it's frustrating and isolating.

But work. Work was the absolute worst. I just couldn't hear what people were saying. It was hopeless in meetings, as I'd miss half of what was said. And one-on-one was bad too - people often talk too low when they're right next to you, or keep their voice down because it's an open plan office.

I'd explain that I couldn't hear, and they'd raise their voice for all of two words, before reverting back to the normal level, and me again unable to hear most of it.

You can only say, 'sorry - what was that?' 2, 3 times at most, before it's simply too awkward to say it again, and you're none the wiser as to what they actually said.

I find it impossible to imagine preferring to live like this!

If it's giving you head aches, then there must be a way to adjust the setting so things aren't so loud.

Isn't it much more preferable to be able to easily hear and converse with your DC?