Aibu? To dislike hearing everything again?

[Pandamanda3]

Ok so yesterday I received my long awaited hearing aids!
Apprehensive but excited, that maybe I would finally hear the phone, answer the door and not miss my delivery's or hear my sons shouting me (although it is quite convenient at times to not hear them) lol!
And maybe id finally not feel such a fool each time I'm in a conversation and repeatedly need to say sorry? What did you say?
So along I went.
I was greated by a lovely lady who took the time to thourally explain everything to me, I was blown away tbf by the level of tech used to personalise each aid. It was fantastic to see just how it all worked.

Then we get the fine tuning done and she pops them in and 'oh my god' I jumped feet.
I thought ffs she's got the volume wrong.
However she told me that this is my prescription and it shows just how much hearing I had lost, she explained iv basically got to get used to them and Teach my brain again. She said I did have quite a profound loss but it's certain pitches tones and sounds in particular making it hard in my case.

So I put my big girl pants on and called by tesco on way home I figured if I could do tesco in high volume I'm on my way.
Walking around I felt like I was in another world every foot step, ever squeak of the trolly at pitch volume and I felt like my brain was going to explode.

Needless to say I headed out and actually kept them in until about 8 last night because I had the most immense head ache and I actually found my peaceful muted world " better"and Since then iv just keep arguing with myself that I need this, I should be grateful (which I am) but more so that some people would kill to even benefit from the aid.
Iv tried & tried today which again has left me with a wopper of a headache.

So Aibu? To actually prefer to happily live in my own hearing zone and maybe give them back?
I hope this makes sense it's hard to explain but I'm finding the whole thing actually painful I was so excited and feel a bit deflated which is stupid I know but I totally did not think it would be so overwealming.
Iv other health issues like I have to catheterise, I'm also on a liquid diet so can't eat solids due to further issues and i have sever anaemia too 😒
and I'm recently divorced (not that I can blame this on the narc) but just feeling in all a bit low, with zero self-esteem etc.. And feeling rather shit if im honest 😕

So PLZ don't flame me, I'm just after any advise? If you've been there and have a solution.
I guess I'm just needing to vent, a handhold! Oh I don't know maybe iabu, am I?

OP I completely understand where your coming from I wear a hearing aid and really struggle to get on with so much so that I now just leave it in my handbag and refuse to wear it even though it makes a massive difference when I do wear it I am just too use to only hearing with my left ear and lip reading my way through conversations that's how I've got through the last 27 years and thats what am use to changes don't sit well with me and a hearing aid was just a step too far for me and it just makes my self confidence even worse and sends my people are staring at me and can see my hearing aid anxiety through the roof.

Ha!
Like the sound of pimping them, im not on FACEBOOK I should be really as kids have it, I can look via my sons though if you've got the details YEH that would be great.
I'll down load the app and try and see if I can lower them a little. Id prefer to go gradually as I feel like I'm being flung into another dimension at the mo!
My dog barked before and omg it killed, he's a big help though believe it or not he tells me my phones ringing and the doors going but only when he's not having his afternoon nap
Then he's off the clock and you've no chance ha!

Yanbu

If you try gradually building up and are still finding them too loud, go back contour audiologist and tell them. You can have them turned down. And if this type of hearing aid is still no good, ask for a different type.
Regardless of whether your HAs come through private care or NHS, they are only as good as the person who programmed them. Programming is a two-way street and your feedback is important.

I remember this well. When I got my first hearing aid it was excruciating, everything seemed way too loud, my head was thumping from the racket! I lost that one, went without for a few years and am now waiting for a new aid so no doubt I'll be feeling the same soon. Gradually building up to using it all the time is key I think, that's what I'll be doing this time.

Ok so iv downloaded the app 😀
So have tweaked the volume and I think the back ground noise which has helped.
I can hear my dc's arguing over who's going in the shower first ha!

Im going to play about with it a bit and see if I can find a level just right and hopefully can try to bear with for a few hours and build it up from there.
The dowager I understand what your saying Its not that I prefer to be deaf as such it's the severity of the noise through the aids im not managing with, which it seems is a bit better using the app but if I had to suffer that nightclub effect continually I just couldn't.
Sound is beautiful yes but at an ordinary level
Hearing an explosion in your ears when somebody shuts a door, boils the kettle or even eats there tea is not so beautiful, it's the whole 💣 effect in the 👂 that wasn't what I expect.

But I will try and persevere,
Bearfox - I hope you get your appointment quickly and its not that bad this time round for you, fingers crossed.

I still don't hear the door without my dogs barking and that's with them in! I've got a special doorbell that flashes that I should carry around with me but that just seems a bit past the point I'm willing to admit to at the moment.

I second Joni in that the programming is key. If you are unhappy go back and back again until you've got it perfected.

The FB page is 'Pimp my Hearing Aids/Cochlear Implants - UK' which doesn't exactly trip off the tongue but is full of the do's and don'ts of making it prettier. Nail stickers are the best. Anyway here's a picture of one of my NHS ones vs my private ones. You can see why I got the private ones, they are probably the same size as yours. I love my full glitter mould on the NHS even though it's massive to stop noise coming back out of my ear as it's being pumped in at full volume so that there isn't a feedback loop (the horrible squeal they make sometimes).

Brilliant, I'm glad you've managed to turn them down a bit. You can enjoy just the right amount of them squabbling now. Just remember (she repeats again) your brain needs to re-wire itself to cope with the incoming noise levels, it will have calibrated to cope with the much lower levels. It won't take long to learn the new patterns.

Lovely to see you've had such supportive and helpful posts

Btw your aids look very similar to DM's.

DF did some research and as per a pp if they are the Siemens's ones like hers - really good quality.

The only advantage for her (for her type of loss) was private aids that were just "in ear".

However as per my pp she just grew her hair a bit and isn't bothered by the outer elements of aids. I'm not sure if this is true but DF also mentioned that the private ones may be more discrete but less effective.

He's research mad (retired scientist) so inclined to believe him (wrt to my DM's hearing loss) and he certainly wouldn't begrudge her having top of the range private aids if that is what was required and they can thankfully afford it.

As I said she's really happy now with her NHS ones - after a rocky start.

I've certainly noticed a big difference. She's definitely back to herself in social situations. It's wonderful to witness. Technology can be a beautiful thing.

Hey eatshitandleaves
Yes the support and advise has really helped me on this thread so im really grateful, being able to turn down the back noise made a huge difference I felt more confident in what I was hearing.
Instead of every sound being at the same pitch which is disorientating.
I felt really unbalanced as mad as it sounds.
Im glad your dm Is benefitting though it is so hard having to get people to repeat themselves
And it does make you not want to socialise for fear of it, it has for me. But as you say technowledgy is a wonderful thing it amazes me just what can be done now.

It gets better all the time too so who knows what will happen in years to come!
Thank you again for yours and everybody else's support & advise I do love MN its a lovely place to chat 😀

I started with an nhs body worn hearing aid at 17, then got behind the ear private ones at 20 then got nhs one's at 22,

My private ones were the smallest, but also the loudest, they had Bluetooth so I could stream with my phone and tv!

But they were £1600 for two (for the price of one) at boots.

I love them as they're purple, but they don't have ear moulds and irritate my ears.

My nhs one's have a t coil which is more useful, but in my experience the nhs give you the bare minimum to get by, so it's not as powerful as my other one. It's also much bigger and beige.

You jumped into the deep end by going into Tesco, many of the deaf people I know take theirs out in super markets and shopping centres, because it's overwhelming and a mush of noise!

In the beginning I was told to wear them for 1 hour a day and increase it every day,

Yes you will get headaches, I did and yes a dog barking is horrendous at any point!

Build it up slowly and increase your exposure to noisy places.

Also don't expect perfection, no one hears everything and machines aren't perfect, background noise Is an issue.

oh and I have "age related" loss and I'm 23 :) what they mean is wear and tear, the hairs in your ears have worn away and become less sensitive, so they don't pick up vibrations as well. It can happen at any age and faster by listening to loud music.

Hope its ok to p.m you op

Haven't RTFT but I sympathise and empathise. I had no idea that my pet cats purred until I got my aids... I had missed so much but didn't know it. I was told not to wear both aids at once until I had habituated. The sensory overload was overwhelming - it was frightening and occasionally painful. I eventually got used to it and wouldn't be without them now. Give it time. You'll be fine!

I recently had new aids and yes, the white noise on the first few days was something else! But your brain does get used to it after a few days and now after about three weeks, I only hear the white noise when I am somewhere particularly noisy like a restaurant etc so I just turn down the volume for those occasions. Hope you get used to them as it is lovely to not be asking people to repeat things all the time or have to have sub-titles on when watching tv etc.

My 15 week old just got his first pair.

From experience I totally agree.
I would much rather be in my world without hearing aids.
I have in-ears as too vain and there is no adjustability with them except when I go back to the audiologist. They already seem deafening but I still don't get the level of hearing of a normal person. I've had them for about a year now after 30 years of not having any.

I wear them for work, meetings, socialising. Around the house not at all, nor driving.
Still can't watch the TV without subtitles on, even though the volume is deafening - I just can't pick out the words clearly enough.

I like -: oh Yep I totally agree tesco was a really stupid idea ha! I felt like Id just landed on Mars lol I walked around holding my head until I ran for the exit!
Burst into tears in the car like a total drama queen, on reflection I don't know what I was thinking as I hate bloody tesco supermarkets at the best of times so it's my own fault really.

The cats-: oh my he is absolutly gorgeous, I feel like such a moaning mini when you see just how little he is, coping with them.
Iv pm'd your back hun, it's fine to message me anytime.
You must be so proud of your little Ds what an absolute sweetie.

From what I can gather there seems to be an inconsistency in what each clinic advises as a lot of people have said its best to build up to it or were one at a time like pp said above.
Im not sure my audiologist has given me the right advise tbh telling me to wear them all day everyday full throttle!

So im making my own desicion to do it gradually and see if im more able to tolirate over time.

To be honest it's the foreground noise I want to hear like my dc's talking the tv etc I don't want the sound of my footsteps amplified so that I feel dizzy when I walk.
Last night I was in my utility room and could hear what sounded like water running. I shouted my son in the kitchen and said "Is there water running?
I looked around the door to find my dog was having a drink from his bowl by util door 🙈
So it was that, but his lapping was so loud it shook my brain lol!
So that is the noise Id rather not have if that makes sense to anybody.
It's like every little thing I get blasted through the aid.

And it's that combination im finding too much, I don't think hearing my own feet clacking around the kitchen floor is really benefitting me.

It's so hard to explain but the dc's have been testing me by talking to me from another room just to see if I hear them and they think it's great that I already don't say what was that? Say again?
Or completly miss hear the sentence and make up my own version which drives them crackers ha!

Thank you so much for all the replies it helps so much to hear other people's advise tips and experiences!

I have to switch mine off or right down if OH sit close to me. Sniffing breathing, speaking, eating drives me nuts.

I wore mine coming home on the bus and everyone was stomping up the stairs, and I could hear every single conversation. I want to shout, SHut Up, walk quietly,don't make so much noise opening the bloody doors. I did not think I would ever get used to them. On my follow up appointment the Audiologist showed me how to programme them into my phone so turning them down or off is so much easier.

Interestingly my adult children have said what a difference it has made as, apparently, I now join in conversations much more than previously. Also they don't have to tell the GKs to speak up and keep explaining I was going deaf. It seems my hearing was worse than I thought.

I am so with you about all the extra noises. They're soooo annoying. And being able to hear everyone's conversations. The worst one for me is hearing myself chewing.
Everything is so blimmin noisy.
I'm not happy with my aids yet. I'm pleased with them for meetings, so-so with them for social activities and disappointed for TV watching - really had hoped to get rid of subtitles.

Yes I find mine are not giving the clarity of the tv. That I had hoped for

It does take some time getting used to them for sure. I found everything very loud at first. I still don't put them in for an hour or two after waking, I like to ease my way into the day I realised how loud my eldest is (I didn't have them until he was 3) and I don't want to put the radio or tv too loud for them and affect their hearing. My are NHS and work for me, as PP have said if the headaches persist go back to the audiologist.

The cats - he is adorable

I too was advised to wear mine all day from day one and I think it has helped my brain to block out the white noise a bit quicker than if I had eased them in. As I don't go out a lot and we are a fairly quiet family - I do find it very loud when I venture into places like restaurants as my brain hasn't experienced that noise level and learned to block out the extraneous noises in these environments

Bloody age related im 41 wtf!

it could be worse, I can't get hearing aids on the NHS .. consultant says my hearing loss is because I'm fat :-/