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AIBU?

do you think it is acceptable for someone to put photos of your baby on the internet

64 replies

BarbieLovesKen · 14/03/2007 16:19

without your permission of parent+?

I have just came across (by accident) photos of my 17month dd on an well known adult chat type site. they were put here by her aunt who I do not speak to. its a joke really because this "aunt" has seen dd maybe 6 times (for very short periods of time) since she was born, NEVER texts or rings her brother to ask how dd is and Saturday was the first time she has seen dd in 6 months!!. So, lots of "im a fantastic aunt photos"

This is not the point though.. I would never put photos of my child on the internet, particulary not on an adult site (I know alot have photos of their kids on her, please dont think I mean to offend - this is the parents choice and business, just not something I would personally do)
I have heard of scares of people "doctoring" perfectly innocent pictures of children for disgusting reasons on the web. I am outraged - If I do not put photos of my own dd on the internet - how dare someone else???

I do have a tendancy to over react on things though - do you think im being unreasonable? what should I do??

OP posts:

Report

tiredemma · 14/03/2007 16:20

no, i dont think that you are being unreasonable.

Its your decision if your child has a pic on thenet- not someone elses.
Id be pissed off.

McDreamy · 14/03/2007 16:21

No should have got your permission

lulumama · 14/03/2007 16:22

not unreasonable

should have asked your permission ....

definitely a step over the line

sassy · 14/03/2007 16:23

OUtrageous. I don't really believe that paedo's trawl the www looking for pics of kids to doctor and get their rocks off about, but this is NOT her child and thus NOT her right to do so.

You want Xenia for this - her law field is intellectual property iirc!

prettymum · 14/03/2007 16:25

definately would be angry if anyone put up pitures of my dc without my permission! especially on the net! you have the right to be angry

Stigaloid · 14/03/2007 16:25

You are not beign unreasonable and i would contact the aunt and demand they be removed.

bran · 14/03/2007 16:26

Does the site have a moderator or administrator whom you can email and get the photos removed?

I would be extremely annoyed about this if it was my child.

zoepybus · 14/03/2007 16:28

Hi Barbieandken, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all - I would be furious if a member of my family had put photos of my kids on a free adult internet site, especailly as she didn't even have the decency to ask! You're right, there are alot of perverts out there who are very clever at doctoring photos of inocent children, as parents we need to protect them as much as possible. If, god forbid, someone did misuse the pictures the damage to you and your family would last a life time.

I would get in touch with the Aunt, point out that whilst I'm sure she posted the pictures just to be a proud Aunt, that you wish her to remove them immdiately. You can set up personal sites that can only be viewed by people you forward the link to, which is protected by an internet password. This way you can share your pictures with family but you're safe in the knowledge no-one else can access them.

BarbieLovesKen · 14/03/2007 16:30

Folks, thank you so much for your replies. As I said, I have a tendancy to over react and thought maybe my dislike for this girl was making me more outraged.

Thanks a million.

I intend to contact her alright but I know its going to cause such trouble - she wont understand and will just think im being a bitch. Also, she is the little pet in the family (only girl) and if I say anything to her - dps parents wont speak to us or come out to see dd for months (im serious - they have done this before!!! would you believe it ) plus dp is going to be annoyed that "here we go again..."

But my priority is with dd so feck it....

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 14/03/2007 16:33

Years ago I put a picture of me and my friend's DS on Friend's Reunited and her DH got her to ask me to take it off. It didn't offend me - I apologised and said I hadn't thought (had no DC then) about that. We're still good friends!

zoepybus · 14/03/2007 16:34

Don't blame you - if DP's parents can't see why you're p'd off about this, post a less than flattering picture of them on a free-for-all site and see how they like it!

Our kids come first, surely your DP can see that this time you're not over-reacting. Just show him our comments and he'll soon see that all us mums would do exactly the same!

LilRedWG · 14/03/2007 16:34

You are right with your priorities - if they won't come see their Grandchild, that's their loss!

Lucycat · 14/03/2007 16:34

Is there any way that you can 'report' the posting to the website owners and get them to remove the photos?

That way you won't be the baddie in all this with the IL's.

BarbieLovesKen · 14/03/2007 16:38

Zoepybus - do you know something - I was going to do just that (show him this thread) to see im not being ridiculous

I think he (dp) is just so fed up with this now - we've havent got on for 3 years (his sister and I) and I the poor thing has to listen to me rant when she (frequently) does something to piss me off (like this) then if she gets told off for it, his whole family go against him - its just awful.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply, appreciate the advice!!

OP posts:

mummylin2495 · 14/03/2007 16:38

no you are not being unreasonable.she has no right to do this without asking your permission

BarbieLovesKen · 14/03/2007 16:43

Lucycat and Bran, im not really sure - im in work (lol) and one of the girls here who uses it said there probably is a way to report it but they would probably have to ask the sister to remove them. (so then Im a bitch for not facing her) also, if I could just remove them, it would be obvious that it was me since every photo (6) of them of dd suddenly disappears on her page.

Its horrible, my dd is the big one on the front of her page... then when you scroll down to "photos" dd is the "cover" on one of her albums and then 5 other photos inside, also, you message other people on the site and the messages are there for all to see (along with your main picture)... so I clicked in and EVERYONE that she messaged now has my dd on their page too!!
(sorry if you understood that your a genius)

im going to just have to tell her to take them off.. just a shit no win situation, either way they are coming off !!
my precious little girl...

OP posts:

fryalot · 14/03/2007 16:47

I think you are dead right to be annoyed. I have pictures of my little ones on my profile on here (but nowhere else) and as you quite rightly said, this is my choice. If anyone else were to use piccies of my kids for whatever reason, I would be apoplectic with rage and I think you are being most restrained.

BarbieLovesKen · 14/03/2007 16:57

Thanks squonk - oh God, I absolutely shook with temper when I seen it!!

OP posts:

littlelapin · 14/03/2007 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoraPostrophe · 14/03/2007 17:09

really, you all think this a reasonable reaction?

blimey. do you all put bags on your kids heads when you go out?

BarbieLovesKen · 14/03/2007 17:12

Littlelapin - thank you so much for looking it up, your very sweet (I didnt know that - not at least ive something to back myself up more)

SenoraPostrophe, why do you say that? what do you think about it?

OP posts:

Rhubarb · 14/03/2007 17:12

Different senora. If a stranger took a picture of your child would you be happy?

Would you put a picture of someone else's child on the www without their permission?

I don't put pictures of my kids on the internet either because I'm afraid I do think that paedos trawl the Net, I'm forever being astonished at how many internet sickos there are out there. Call me overreactionary or whatever, but as a parent I think I have the authority to decide who gets their picture and who doesn't.

As her parent, Barbie does not want pictures of her dd on the www and she is entitled to that.

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SenoraPostrophe · 14/03/2007 17:23

I just think it's a picture. nothing to get worked up about. so what if some perv looks at it? some perv might look at your child when you're in the supermarket. if they were pictures of the kids in the bath or something that would be a different thing.

I also think it's a bit mean to accuse the aunt of showing off without caring about the child. perhaps she's really proud of her neice, but doesn't see her very often because her mother "does not speak" to her. siblings can be proud of each other without speaking or texting very often.

littlelapin · 14/03/2007 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoraPostrophe · 14/03/2007 17:25

strangers taking pics of my child wouldn't bother me either really. it has happened actually (there was a tv crew in the supermarket). if peadophiles can get their kicks so easily why don't they just buy a mothercare catalogue?

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