do you think it is acceptable for someone to put photos of your baby on the internet

[BarbieLovesKen]

without your permission of parent+?

I have just came across (by accident) photos of my 17month dd on an well known adult chat type site. they were put here by her aunt who I do not speak to. its a joke really because this "aunt" has seen dd maybe 6 times (for very short periods of time) since she was born, NEVER texts or rings her brother to ask how dd is and Saturday was the first time she has seen dd in 6 months!!. So, lots of "im a fantastic aunt photos"

This is not the point though.. I would never put photos of my child on the internet, particulary not on an adult site (I know alot have photos of their kids on her, please dont think I mean to offend - this is the parents choice and business, just not something I would personally do)
I have heard of scares of people "doctoring" perfectly innocent pictures of children for disgusting reasons on the web. I am outraged - If I do not put photos of my own dd on the internet - how dare someone else???

I do have a tendancy to over react on things though - do you think im being unreasonable? what should I do??

I think BLK means an adult site as in not a kids site. she doesn't mean a porn site.

Senora, apparently that's what occasionally happened (the Mothercare catalogue I mean) when babies were shown with no clothes on.

Anyway, dh once mentioned us all by name and age in some website/blog thingy - I asked him to remove the details asap (no photos though).

And no, I don't think BLK is being unreasonable - and I'm not even thinking about paedophiles or whatever.

I have put pics of dgs on mn without asking his mum!

but they weren't on for long

in fact other people have definitely put pics of other peoples children on mn..the kids covered in paint for example

I must admit I have gone off the idea of photos not sure it's completely rational though

models are used all the time

The children in the Mothercare catalogues have their parents permission to appear in that catalogue.

Whatever you might think of this, to show a child's picture on the internet without their parent's permission is rude.

You wouldn't do it, I wouldn't do it and I think Barbie has a right to be annoyed by this.

BLK - you are definitely not being unreasonable.
You said it would be difficult to talk to her aunt - can you phrase it in a "making her aware of the dangers".

For example - this link
You can just say you've just found out (whether true or not) that they can be doctored (not wanting to scare anyone, I'm sure it's rare) and isn't it shocking what they're used for? That way you don't cme across as having a go - you're just saying that you've found all this out.
Hope that makes sense!

mercy - but so what? it doesn't hurt the babies does it.

It's not that I think BLK should lump it btw, just that everyone is over-reacting a bit.

Different thing for different people.

What you consider to be ok and acceptable, someone else might not. BLK does not think this is acceptable so you have to respect that.

I agree with her.

senora - how would you feel if you bought a newspaper tomorrow and saw a half page picture with your face staring out at you?

This is the first you know about it, you were not aware that the photo was being taken and nobody asked you for permission to use it.

It's not about whether a child's photo should be put on the www - it's about permission. In the absence of the child being able to give the permission itself, it is up to the parents, and if the parents say no, then the parents say NO. Don't you think so?

I wouldn't even dream of putting anyone else's picture on the www, let alone children! I'm surprised others say that this has been done on MN.

I found this a really good example of something sounding like I would agree with the op and then thinking oh yes I've done that in fact

babies are quite anonymous..

I can see the ops view as she doesn't like this person

so if it was apic of toddler blowing candles out and cousins were next to her you wouldn't post it..if you were posting pics of own child?

Personally, I would like to think that I would ask her parents' permission first.

I think you're right but I can see how someone might do it too without thinking about it

I wouldn't leave photos on view for long on a forum

If someone else's child was in the picture I wouldn't post it on the www. No way. But then I don't post pics of my own kids on the www.

I think it is just rude. This is not a woman posting pics of her own child with BLK's in the background. This is her posting a full picture of BLK's dd without asking permission on a grown-up chat forum, not even a parenting site!

I would be very very unimpressed.

I wouldn't put pictures of my own child on the net let alone of someone else's child.

I think that people who think there are very few sickoes trawling the net looking for pictures of children are extremely naive. I actually think the net is worse than walking down the street, I don't think there is a "paedo" lurking around every corner, walking down the street I might encounter 10, 20, 30 people in a day, and there's a very small chance that one could have ill intentions. But putting a picture on the net that picture is accessible to millions and millions and millions of people, thus increasing the chances tens of thousandfold that someone with ill intentions could access it for their perverted gain.

Even cod, who usually is quite blasay about these types of things has expressed her view that people are naive putting pictures of their children on the net.

does no-one remember the child modelling fiasco? and that happened on mn, under our noses.

you are not being unreasonable.

I can see though how someone might do it without thinking about it though - can certainly imagine my mum putting pictures of mine and my sister's kids on the net without even giving it a second thought - just thinking she was being a proud granny.

I think especially if, like my parents, you haven't grown up in an age where this technology was so accessible, it's something potentially wouldn't automatically think about.

Thank you for all of your replies and advice. SenoraPostrophe, "some perv might look at your child when you're in the supermarket" - yes, unfortunately they might and unfortunately I cannot prevent this - I can however prevent some perv from looking at pictures of my little girl on the internet - by not having them there. Honestly if there is even 0.01% of a chance that I was putting my little girl in any sort of vulnerable situation - of course im going to prevent this!! I do however appreciate your opinion as I did ask the question.

Wannabewhateveriwanttobe - You have said everything I was thinking (better though )

hmm, i'm a teacher & we have to be very careful about this - there are laws about puttin images of children under 16 in the media without parental permission - that's why any news items about schools just have footage the kids feet, or the outside of the school!

What age is your SIL & does she have any kids of her own?

Hi fff2, no, she does'nt have any kids of her own (therefore, I do appreciate that she probabley does'nt fully understand the situation like a mother would although, I still think it very disrespectful and brazen of her to do put pictures of someone else child up)

shes 22 (I know, shes young - yet old enough to have a little cop on, I think)

Do you think these could be factors fff2? that she plainly didnt think?

I dont think itll make a difference though.. they are coming off and thats it! really quite upset about it...

I think you're reasonable to be upset (although you seem to have gone into rant mode, which does seem over the top... but then I have an overactive rant mode myself so I'm in no position to comment).

But I also think at 22, with no kids of her own, she probably has no clue, so it's not reasonable to blow up at her. It's just not the sort of thing that tends to occur to you at that stage unless you've worked in childcare or something. Just explain that you are concerned about pictures of your child being posted on a public site and ask her nicely to take them down. If it helps, refer to cod as a friend a friend who is a magistrate (which cod is) has told you that in her opinion, based on real-life experience, she advises parents to keep photographs of their children off the internet. That makes it less personal it's not a case of you vs. her.

I would be livid........my god daughter has picks of my dd on her photobucket account, but she asked for permission & said she will remove them at anytime.

But if she hadn'd asked I would be furious.

Yes, I think she probably didn't even think!

In your first post you say "its a joke really because this "aunt" has seen dd maybe 6 times (for very short periods of time) since she was born, NEVER texts or rings her brother to ask how dd is and Saturday was the first time she has seen dd in 6 months!!. So, lots of "im a fantastic aunt photos""

Can I say something?? At 22 with no children of her own, she is prehaps not interested in a baby who smells & pukes Therefore wouldn't be interested in asking your dh about her..

My sil & I have had a barney & we don't really speak, yet I know she loves my children & I let her see them at IL's house. She doesn't visit me, nor would I want her to after the things she has said about me, but she does have pics of my kids that MIL give her...

She souldn't have them on the www though, & she needs to know how you feel. Can your dh text & ask her to remove them? Or E-mail her yourself?? Offer her a chance to spend more time with dd, but ask her please not to put her pics on the www for anyone to see.