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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Changing baby name at last minute

57 replies

ladyjam · 10/05/2017 13:43

I'm 39 weeks with DC3. MIL phones everyday for a 'progress report', which is fine in itself, but she always ends up trying to guess the names we have chosen. DH and I decided on the names weeks ago, but have categorically stated that we will not tell anyone the name until the baby is born.

Today, however, MIL guessed the name we have chosen for a boy, and while I didn't let on that she had guessed correctly, I'm so annoyed that she's right that I've gone off it, and I really want to change it because I know she will tell everybody that she knew the name first (being the first to do/know/see things is very important in her world)!

I know I'm being absolutely ridiculous, and I'll feel better in an hour or so, but I had to vent to someone!

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 10/05/2017 13:44

You are being ridiculous.

GummyGoddess · 10/05/2017 13:48

If you've gone off it then change it. My dm guessed my wedding venue when we specifically wanted to take her and pil to show them together and it was so disappointing.

Really you should have told her to stop guessing but we did that to my dm and she literally spent hours on Google to find it from a few vague answers.

amusedbush · 10/05/2017 13:49

Well, if you're ridiculous then so am I. That would bother me and I couldn't bear the smugness of her thinking she knew first Blush

CotswoldStrife · 10/05/2017 13:49

I think at this stage of the hormones it doesn't take much to tip you over the edge tbh. Ignore. Vent to DH as well in the hope that he will do something (without giving away the name!).

If she guesses another name tomorrow, make a sound that will make her think she is right with that (the wrong) name.

Pinkheart5917 · 10/05/2017 13:52

Would I change my babies name based on the fact someone dared to guess it? Umm no I wouldn't, how daft.

Unless your calling a child bear or orange I'd say there is a good chance someone might guess it

You might have a girl anyway?

Relax, call your child it's name as planned and forget about this

HarrietKettleWasHere · 10/05/2017 13:52

I can't imagine getting upset about it. But maybe I also can't imagine pregancy hormones.

However I really can't imagine my wedding being any less of an event/special if a family member guessed it beforehand Confused

HarrietKettleWasHere · 10/05/2017 13:52

Guessed the venue, I mean.

Whatsername17 · 10/05/2017 13:53

I had the same issue with mil and sil. They didn't guess but it infuriated me that they kept guessing. You could change through name or you could ride out the smugness. Every time she says she knew the name, laugh loudly and at length and reply 'yeah, it only took you 8 months and 6000 guesses!'

user1493022461 · 10/05/2017 13:54

You are ridiculous, and clearly loathe your MIL.

kaytee87 · 10/05/2017 13:57

Being a bit ridiculous but you're allowed at 39 weeks pregnant. Your mil phoning you every day for a progress report and trying to guess the name when you said you didn't want to tell anyone is being even more ridiculous. You could be pregnant for another 3 weeks, tell her to lay off.

Girlsinthegarden · 10/05/2017 13:58

Use it and deny you remember her guessing it.

Original poster
ladyjam · 10/05/2017 13:58

I like that, Whatsername, I think I'll do that!

I know I'm ridiculous, I love the name and I don't really want to change it, its just annoyed me, and I know how smug she can be about everything anyway!

OP posts:
RiversrunWoodville · 10/05/2017 13:59

Is the baby definitely a boy or is there a chance she will be wrong if you have a girl? Although tbf it would probably annoy me if I was heavily pregnant and wanted to keep it secret so YANBU. Do you have a backup name you like for a boy?

Original poster
ladyjam · 10/05/2017 14:01

No, we don't know what we're having, so there's every chance this won't be an issue anyway! She's quite certain we're having a boy, so is only really interested in guessing boy names.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 10/05/2017 14:02

Ladyjam don't worry, people breathing or looking at me annoyed me when I was 39 weeks pregnant Wink

MistressPage · 10/05/2017 14:07

Everything is annoying when you're that pregnant. Why is it so important to keep the name a secret? Isn't it nice that she's so interested in her grandchild?

EssentialHummus · 10/05/2017 14:09

Can she direct her daily calls to her son? I'd go bananas.

CocoLoco87 · 10/05/2017 14:12

You're not being ridiculous!! Pregnancy hormones and tiredness / irritability can be awful! It would annoy me too if someone would be smug about something like that.
Try and enjoy your last week or so of pregnancy. And definitely vent to DH later over a big ice cream sundae. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy! Flowers what an exciting time for you!!

Bear2014 · 10/05/2017 14:13

Haha - my OH doesn't know this, but I have vetoed a particular baby name purely on the strength that it's MIL's favourite.

If she was just reeling off a list of names and happened to say the right one, you're being a bit silly.

diddl · 10/05/2017 14:16

Well of course there was a chance that it might happen if you were getting into the daftness of humouring rather than ignoring.

Even if she hadn't guessed in this way, there's always a chance that she would say that she knew/had guessed in the event if if she had no clue.

NavyandWhite · 10/05/2017 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 10/05/2017 14:18

Yes, you're being ridiculous.

1bighappyfamily · 10/05/2017 14:20

ladyjam I'm going to try really hard, and fail, to say this in a non patronising manner. At some point between now, and the next three weeks, you are not going to give a shit.

Let her have her moment, and smile quietly with DH that she's being an idiot. And then ignore it.

Good luck!

Lweji · 10/05/2017 14:20

Just tell her one name, then tell her you've changed your mind after the birth.

OwlBeBack · 10/05/2017 14:21

Yes YABU. It doesn't matter she guessed it.