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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Changing baby name at last minute

57 replies

ladyjam · 10/05/2017 13:43

I'm 39 weeks with DC3. MIL phones everyday for a 'progress report', which is fine in itself, but she always ends up trying to guess the names we have chosen. DH and I decided on the names weeks ago, but have categorically stated that we will not tell anyone the name until the baby is born.

Today, however, MIL guessed the name we have chosen for a boy, and while I didn't let on that she had guessed correctly, I'm so annoyed that she's right that I've gone off it, and I really want to change it because I know she will tell everybody that she knew the name first (being the first to do/know/see things is very important in her world)!

I know I'm being absolutely ridiculous, and I'll feel better in an hour or so, but I had to vent to someone!

OP posts:

user3459859083590890 · 10/05/2017 14:23

I can understand the temptation, to be honest. I know the type. Sounds like my mother. So smug, so unbearably know-it-all. When we were kids, we often felt backed into a corner by her attitude and you just didn't want to give her the satisfaction iyswim. We had no voice then of course, being only kids.

I would just wait until the baby is born. Might be a girl. You might genuinely change your mind about the name. Who knows?

In the meantime, it sounds like you could do without the Daily MIL calls! Time to redirect some to v/mail or your DH.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!!!

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 10/05/2017 14:27

Remind her actually she was third to know the name (or 4th if you have been calling bump it's official name!)

Ginslinger · 10/05/2017 14:30

anyone who is 39 weeks is entitled to be as ridiculous as they like

thegreylady · 10/05/2017 14:35

Tell her you have decided on Ptolemy....

Original poster

ladyjam · 10/05/2017 14:39

Thanks all! Feeling better about it already (although the 3 chocolate biscuits I just inhaled might also have helped)!

It really is my favourite name, so DH said to just pretend I don't remember her guessing that particular name, as she's guessed several hundred other ones too!

OP posts:

AngelicaSchuylerChurch · 10/05/2017 14:40

I think it might be time to start screening your calls

HappyFlappy · 10/05/2017 14:43

If OP does that Lweji, then MIL will think that OP preferred the name that MIL came up with, indwell claim that she "chose the name". (I know what manipulative people can be like)

user3459859083590890 · 10/05/2017 14:43

Happy YES! Exactly what my mother would have done in that situation. You know the type too!

Notmyrealname85 · 10/05/2017 14:47

Yanbu to be pissed off at her - why would you carry on guessing when you'd been told you wouldn't tell people? Why can't she just respect your wishes?

Use whatever name you like - maybe if you're second guessing you could think of another name?

Throw her off the scent entirely and say eg "oh we've gone with the names edie/brendon (whatever)" to shut her up, then when DC arrives say "oh we just decided last minute to change it!"

HappyFlappy · 10/05/2017 14:48

Only too well, User345.

Only.

Too.

Well.

Ceto · 10/05/2017 14:52

Wind her up by announcing the name is something fairly ludicrous that she hasn't guessed, and keep it going as long as possible.

diddl · 10/05/2017 14:53

If it really is your favourite name then not using it will only be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Ceto · 10/05/2017 14:53

But block at least some of her calls anyway. She's liable to go into overdrive now D Day is near, and there's nothing more infuriating than constant calls asking "Is anything happening yet?"

Mothervulva · 10/05/2017 14:55

No, you're not being ridiculous. It can be the way people say things. If you see her again and the topic comes up again let her guess 'correctly'. Or tell her you're thinking of 'Brian' then let her go about telling people what she likes.

Caenea · 10/05/2017 14:57

I wouldn't worry OP. We chose a girl's name before we had our DD then changed it in the labour ward about an hour before she was born. Change away!

lb364 · 10/05/2017 14:57

I can understand you being aggravated, especially if this is a daily thing but it will be your child's name for the rest of their life probably so if you like the name, keep it.

Then categorically deny she ever guessed it once the baby is born. She has no evidence

Bear2014 · 10/05/2017 15:02

It obviously wasn't top of her list if she's been guessing for ages and getting it wrong. If she gets super smug about it, I would definitely point that out!

Easytobuild · 10/05/2017 15:05

I wouldn't worry about it you might look at him or her like my sister did and think "oh that name doesnt suit you at all!"

She had a name it was her favorite name, he was destined to be this name, she wasn't going to change her mind! Then she changed her mind within days of having him because he didnt look like that name they both felt it didnt suit him so registered him something else.

NavyandWhite · 10/05/2017 15:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Logolphin · 10/05/2017 15:10

My MIL tried this, I enthusiastically chatted about names for the gender we wern't having (she was the only one who refused to know what we were having before but we knew as we has lots of complications and boy or girl was the least of our worries). I instantly disliked any she suggested (hormones!).

NavyandWhite · 10/05/2017 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistermagpie · 10/05/2017 15:13

If you don't like the name anymore then change it, but don't change it just because she guessed it. I think you would regret that, and does it really matter that she guessed it? I had loads of people say 'oh I just knew it was another boy' when I had DS2, but they didn't because he hadn't been born! People just say stupid things and you're right, some people like to say they knew something before everyone else.

Name your child what you want, regardless of her guesses. If you change it now, you might wish you hadn't. Loads of people suggested my DS2's name to me when I was pregnant (we already knew what we would call him), because it was a fairly obvious one to combine with DS1. I never let on that they had guessed it and it didn't bother me that they had, just ignore other people and use the name you love.

Legma37 · 10/05/2017 15:21

Tell MIL that your DM guessed it first

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/05/2017 15:25

You're not being entirely ridiculous, but just wait and see what happens when the baby comes out.
Apart from anything else, the name might not suit them! :)

WhooooAmI24601 · 10/05/2017 15:30

Daily progress reports sound as though they suck hugely - can you ignore a few times each week?

When I was pregnant with DS2 MIL kept in contact with DH hourly from 8 months onwards. He adores her but even he admitted she was being an asscravat. Let your DH deal with her some of the time, too.

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