DP's terrible breath - fed up now!

[Feelbadbuthadenough]

NC so as to not humiliate DP if by chance he sees this.

We've been together for two years, lived together for a year, getting married in a few months. He's always had really bad breath. When we first got together I didn't want something so trivial to put me off, especially as I thought it was because he'd had some operations on his palate when he was young, and he was having further ongoing treatment at the time. So I always thought it would be temporary and never mentioned it, thinking it would improve once he was discharged/treatment completed.

All the treatment has been finished for a while now and his breath is still really bad - it ranges from slightly whiffy to the point where I have to really steel myself to kiss him, be close to him etc. He's very particular about oral hygiene - uses one of those Waterpik flossing things, diligent about brushing, only has one cup of coffee per day, and he doesn't eat many of the foods that google is telling me contributes to halitosis. So he really couldn't do any more than he's already doing - it's not his fault, it doesn't seem to be something he can fix.

I've spoken to him about it a few times - initially very gently, with subtle hints, and completely acknowledging that my own breath probably isn't sweet 24/7, and then more recently being clearer in communicating to him that it's noticeable. It's really getting me down because it has always put me off kissing him and does make things less pleasant physically.

I feel at this point I've tried everything. I've bought him boxes of mints - he ignores them, I've suggested seeing his GP, he never does, talking to him just makes him a bit huffy. And I feel bloody awful for bringing it up too.

I don't know what more I can do without massively hurting his feelings. I'm also worried about how it affects his interactions at work - it's very much a people-oriented job.

AIBU by feeling this is an actual problem that's affecting our relationship? Should I just continue to ignore it, as I have before? I'd love to kiss him slowly and sensuously but it really is so unpleasant. I hate myself for saying that about the person I love most in the world

Sorry, can't help but will watch this thread with interest as my own dh (whose breath has been lovely for 20+years) has recently developed halitosis and it's grim. I've told him, but he just got a bit huffy and hasn't done anything. Tbh I'm a bit worried he might be unwell. Interested to see what mners suggest.

Give him more water to drink and buy him some good multi vits and probiotics!

It could be a gut issue?

Or decay/infection in the mouth.

Does he see the hygienist?

I would suggest going for a check up at the dentist and good dentist will be able to help.

Tell him to go to the Doctor and don't kiss him until he does!

He needs to see his doctor/dentist for advice.

It's nothing for him to be ashamed of!

What exactly is the smell like?
Bad breath can also be caused by sinus/mucus/post nasal drip problems. Does it smell more when he breathes through his nose?

He doesn't take a multivit as he eats quite healthily, but I'll definitely get some in case they help, thank you. He does drink plenty of water.

He goes to the dentist regularly - he has to, because of the operations he had in his youth. He's very diligent with oral hygiene.

It must be gut-related, something other than dentistry. I think I do need to sit him down one more time and be a little bit more straight-talking, and push him into a doctor's appointment.

Thank you!

Jesuswept I'm not sure if it's worse with nose/mouth breathing - he is quite a snuffly person and coughs a fair bit. I've often asked him if he's getting a cold and he says no.

Tonsil stones?

Oh and I'm sorry to say that sometimes it literally smells like poo

Probiotics as well!!!!

Sounds like tonsil stones

If you're trying not to hurt his feelings can you phrase it as you're concerned because it seems to have got really bad recently and you think he may be unwell/about to have some bad dental issue. He probably should go to the GP.

I was going to say is it coffee but I can't imagine that comes from only one cup a day. You could get him a tongue scraper/brush? Lots of people use them.

Colpermin capsules give you minty breath. They're for tummy problems, but the nice breath is a good side effect.

Gum disease maybe - does he use mouthwash?

Feel, I used to work opposite a guy whose breath would sometimes smell like poo. It was awful from a distance, I can't imagine being able to kiss someone with breath that bad. I don't know if he had any health issues, but I do know that he ate a lot of meat.

I know it's not nice for him to hear, but I think he's being disrespectful to you, he really has to sort it out - with your support, of course, but he's got to be willing to do something about it.

Does he use a tongue scraper?
What's his diet and digestive health like?

Sounds very tricky, I feel sorry for you both but if I was in his shoes I would be mortified that my partner found my breath so foul and I'd be trying to find the cause

You say it's trivial, but it kind of smacks of a biochemical incompatibility....that you find the smell of your partner so repellent
Like your microbiomes/ immune systems are not in sync.

It sounds like tonsil stones. You can poke his tonsils with the back of a toothbrush to see if any emerge?

Tonsil stones would be my first guess as well, the smell of them when they come out is retchingly bad.

I was also going to suggest tonsil stones. They smell awful! (I've coughed one up once)

Does he still have his tonsils? If so, he could have tonsil stones (tonsiloliths). They give you horrible bad breath, no matter how good your dental hygiene is. This may be TMI but I used to cough them out every now and then (cream-coloured lump smaller than a pea). When squished they smell utterly vile!!! Now I have no tonsils, I have no problems

Was also going to suggest tonsil stones. I get them from time to time (those little bits of white stuff that appear from the back of your mouth and taste disgusting), but if they start getting big them they can really give terrible halitosis. Salt water gargle helps, you can blast them with the water pick if not too gaggy, and see the dentist as they can also blast some out with the air jet. They are pretty common.

Could he have tonsiloths - tonsil stones? These are quite common - I get them myself sometimes where your tonsils are rather porous and ragged and food gets stuck in them and form a waxy substance that smells of poo - I can imagine if you have a lot of them they will stink.