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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If I complain about this bus driver will I come back to my car being keyed?

57 replies

upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 11:25

We live in a road which can just about get a bus down it. However when I have to put two young dds into the car in the morning (one either side of the car), I have to be in the road to put one girl in. Most buses slow down if I have my door open (not widely) or they wait. I am pretty quick though, maybe 20 seconds.
One bus driver - same one and have noted his reg plate - always beeps at me and makes gestures at me.
I am fed up of this and the horn beeping sets off my younger dd and makes me jump
I have no choice but to put them in like this as we do not have a driveway. I want to complain to TFL (Transport for London) but is there a chance that said driver will seek his revenge?
We hope to get a driveway done once we have saved enough money but they are £££££.

OP posts:
plantsitter · 09/05/2017 11:27

No just do it. Or you could go and tell him off yourself, you don't have to be rude about it.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 09/05/2017 11:39

If he's beeping at you after 20 seconds hes either incredibly impatient or you may be taking longer than you realise.

Nevertheless he's rude to be making gestures at you and I'd be reporting that alone. Even if you were taking five minutes he still needs to be patient. I can be quite a gobby cow when I need to be though (I pick my battles wisely) and the last person that beeped at me got short shrift from me. Bet they thought twice about it the next time they had to wait two minutes!

SecretNetter · 09/05/2017 11:43

There can't be a constant stream of buses all morning surely? Even in London.

If you see a bus approaching, can't you just wait a short while until it's gone past?

scurryfunge · 09/05/2017 11:45

I think you should complain about the gestures and beeping. However, you are placing yourself in a dangerous position in the road. Is there no way you can avoid being in the road?

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 11:51

This bus route is pretty frequent - there are buses every few minutes going one way or the other. I have to do it in the road - that's where my car is parked and one child seat is going to be roadside and one is going to be kerbside.
It is a bit of a cut through road too so cars are pretty frequent too and waiting to pass each other so I have to just brace myself and go out in the road.
But I am wondering if he will come back and do something to my car/ house once he knows I have made a complaint.
I can't say anything to him as he is driving past as he beeps/ gesticulates.

OP posts:
ZilphasHatpin · 09/05/2017 11:53

Couldn't you put the roadside child in from the other side? Or are they both rear facing seats?

BorpBorpBorp · 09/05/2017 11:57

The bus driver shouldn't be acting aggressively towards you.
You shouldn't have to be worrying that he might key your car (!)
Go ahead and complain to TFL. If he keys your car, report to the police.

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 11:57

Couldn't you put the roadside child in from the other side? Or are they both rear facing seats

This isn't physically possible probably due to the size of my lardy arse or I would do it. One seat is rear facing.

OP posts:
Mulledwine1 · 09/05/2017 12:00

Can you put one child in and then the other. Do you have a disability that stops you from wriggling across a bit? I'd just put the right hand seat and child in, then the left hand one. Or use the front seat? I don't like using a front seat for a child, but it seems like the ideal solution here.

It's very unsafe to be getting in the way of cars and buses that are trying to get down the road. Plus the bus will be on a timetable and so the driver will understandably be annoyed about unnecessary delays to the journey.

RainbowPastel · 09/05/2017 12:03

It's incredibly dangerous to put a child in on the roadside. A grandmother at our school was doing this and a car hit her door she ended up in hospital with multiple injuries.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2017 12:07

The bus driver is expected to reach the stops on time so he's probably a little pissed off at being delayed.

Also it's dangerous anyway - I have seen a few near misses from people trying to drive past when someone has their door open

ZilphasHatpin · 09/05/2017 12:08

TBH I would put the rear facing seat at the road side and push the front passenger seat as far forward as it goes to give you plenty of room to stretch across.

LizzieMacQueen · 09/05/2017 12:16

probably due to the size of my lardy arse

If you are genuinely supersized them I'd bet the bus driver is being a fattist (if that is the correct term).

BeMorePanda · 09/05/2017 12:16

I complained about a neighbor who never picked up after her 2 massive dogs and left the entire neighborhood littered with their tonnes of poo.

My car got damaged shortly after - three times. Of course I can't prove anything, but people can be nasty. Still I'd report her again.

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 12:16

Both seats are fixed in. Neither are front seats. One is forward facing and one is rear facing. I literally can't put one child in through the car.
However my main question is regarding complaining - is it worth it?

Go ahead and complain to TFL. If he keys your car, report to the police.
There would be no evidence that he would have done it. No cctv cameras around here.

OP posts:
LizzieMacQueen · 09/05/2017 12:16

being fattist

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 09/05/2017 12:18

I doubt he would pull up the bus to get out and damage your car. .
Bus has cctv!!

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 12:19

If you are genuinely supersized them I'd bet the bus driver is being a fattist (if that is the correct term).

He could be! No way of proving that though.

OP posts:
Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 12:20

I doubt he would pull up the bus to get out and damage your car. .
Bus has cctv!!

No, I mean later on, in his own time of course. A complaint against him - he could be really peeved off.

OP posts:
BorpBorpBorp · 09/05/2017 12:20

Could you get a dashcam?

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 12:31

Dashcams only work when you are driving. If you have them on while you are parked, you can drain the battery.

OP posts:
herethereandeverywhere · 09/05/2017 12:36

I would complain if I were you.

I understand just the problem you are having, DH was putting DD1 into her carseat in a similar fashion an 'ambulance' (non-emergency ferry people to and from appointments type) flashed his headlights then got impatient and (in the drivers own words) 'went anyway' resulting in smashing into the car door and several thousand pounds worth of damage to the car (paid out by the ambulance drivers insurance) - thankfully DH was unhurt but both he and DD were very shaken. There is absolutely a situation where you cannot get a kid in their seat from the other side and a definite issue with impatient London drivers who won't wait a minute or so for you to do it safely.

ParadiseCity · 09/05/2017 12:38

Check the bus route, phone up and say you are from X Street where the bus also goes, then complain...

Firstaidnovice · 09/05/2017 12:40

Is it really considered bad to put children in roadside? I have two rear facing seats, and there is no other way I can do it. I do it every morning, and cars just slow down when passing (fortunately our road is a little wider than OPs maybe).

And yes bus drivers run to a timetable, but that clearly does not excuse rudely gesticulating at someone who is legitimately using a road.
OP I would definitely report. In terms of reprisals, I would say it's highly unlikely.

GlitteryFluff · 09/05/2017 12:51

I have a similar set up, in that i have no drive and park on road and a car or van (not bus) needs to get past and can't if my door is open and I'm putting DS in the car.
I always pull the door up and step aside to let them past. I don't carry on and make them them wait.