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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If I complain about this bus driver will I come back to my car being keyed?

57 replies

upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 11:25

We live in a road which can just about get a bus down it. However when I have to put two young dds into the car in the morning (one either side of the car), I have to be in the road to put one girl in. Most buses slow down if I have my door open (not widely) or they wait. I am pretty quick though, maybe 20 seconds.
One bus driver - same one and have noted his reg plate - always beeps at me and makes gestures at me.
I am fed up of this and the horn beeping sets off my younger dd and makes me jump
I have no choice but to put them in like this as we do not have a driveway. I want to complain to TFL (Transport for London) but is there a chance that said driver will seek his revenge?
We hope to get a driveway done once we have saved enough money but they are £££££.

OP posts:
buntingqueen · 09/05/2017 12:58

I had exactly this situation, except the road was still wide enough for a bus to pass my car widely, and the bus driver actually stopped, opened the bus doors, and shouted at me that I shouldn't be putting my child in on the roadside! I was literally speechless! I wasn't slowing him down, and wasn't even aware that he was there until he started shouting at me!
I phoned the bus company with the registration number and time it happened, and they knew exactly who I was talking about. I never had any repercussions, so I would say definitely complain! He doesn't own the road!

HappenstanceMarmite · 09/05/2017 12:58

I always pull the door up and step aside to let them past. I don't carry on and make them them wait.

That's what I would do/used to do.

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 13:26

I always pull the door up and step aside to let them past. I don't carry on and make them them wait.

If I did this, I would never get the dc into the car. There literally isn't a break in the traffic going past in the mornings. Later on in the day, it's doable and I wait.
Cost of driveway and dropped kerb around here - £7-8k!!

I will try and call TFL later today if dd will give me ten minutes breathing space.

OP posts:
plantsitter · 09/05/2017 13:26

You could both complain and step aside for the bus once you've put the child in the seat and come back and fasten it in when the bus has passed.

Sometimes you just can't wiggle one across then the other etc and it's only dangerous because cars don't drive sensibly.

It would be easier on you if you just let the buss pass but equally a bus driver should not be such a rude knobber.

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 13:40

You could both complain and step aside for the bus once you've put the child in the seat and come back and fasten it in when the bus has passed

Good idea Plantsitter.

OP posts:
Nettletheelf · 09/05/2017 13:56

Go ahead and complain if you're spiteful.

I'm surprised that you can't time putting your kids into the car for bus-free periods, or step aside when you see a bus coming. You must have known, when you chose the house, that you were on a busy road? I can't excuse the bus driver's behaviour, but I can see very clearly why he'd be frustrated by yours.

plantsitter · 09/05/2017 14:05

Yes yes, somebody should have bought a different HOUSE so that a bus driver didn't get mildly irritated! Of course!

Of course she could set up a little warning system that rings a bell when the bus drives over it so she knows when is a good time for her to put her kids in the car, and nursery/work/school whatever should be made aware of this too so when she and the kids are late they can think - ah, glad that bus driver's not being inconvenienced - rather than 'she's late'

Or the bus driver could just suck it up for 30 seconds, eh.

Louiselouie0890 · 09/05/2017 14:43

If it's taking twenty seconds and you can't stop and let them past because it's so busy then I'd imagine your causing quite a bit of traffic? If it's that busy I wouldn't be putting my child in that way. Just doesn't add up to me

DeadGood · 09/05/2017 14:50

Driver is a dick, but I'd feel horrible holding traffic up in this way. Just wouldn't be worth the stress.
I think I would put child in seat, get in the front and clip her in from there. Bit of twisting round involved, but could that work OP?

witsender · 09/05/2017 14:57

I would put RF seat on pavement side, and FF on road side. Put FF child in first and they Scrabble over and into seat. Put RF child in safely. Then you get in and turn round from front and do up FF child.

It genuinely is dangerous to do what you're doing and rely on people noticing and stopping. Or if you park passenger side on one seat in front and one in back.

picklemepopcorn · 09/05/2017 14:59

You can't necessarily put your child in, step away, then come back to the child safely. Depending on the age, the child isn't safe unless the harness is done up.

herethereandeverywhere · 09/05/2017 15:11

What is the OP supposed to do with the unrestrained child whilst letting the bus/vehicle pass? Certainly DH was not keen on bringing DD back out traffic side, nor leaving her to do whatever she wants to unrestrained in the car. Perhaps a very small baby would not move but not an active toddler who would choose not to be fastened in given half a chance!

Kokusai · 09/05/2017 15:20

I'd be tempted to get a 5 year personal loan and get the kerb dropped as a priority. You'll never need it more than right now.

herethereandeverywhere · 09/05/2017 15:22

Get a loan so a bus driver won't have to wait a minute?!! Really?!!

scottishdiem · 09/05/2017 15:34

Do no other drivers get impatient? Is it only the driver of this bus. The same driver a lot of the time? Can you not wait until he passes since you are both running to the same timetable. Are you sure you are not holding up everyone else as well?

I would still complain as a horn beeping is most unwelcome and intimidating.

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 09/05/2017 17:17

Honestly, other bus drivers wait or slow down and then drive past. Other car drivers still drive past very quickly and I am holding my breath as they go past.

As I said before, the seats are fixed in. I can't twist in from the front to do up the harness. I can't lift in 1yo and put her in across the other forward seat.

Actually Kokusai this is the route we are going to have to go down.

OP posts:
memememum · 09/05/2017 18:05

Would you be able to lift across if front seats were pulled forward? What about parking facing the other way so other child was next to the kerb? Alternatively are you able to park somewhere else nearby that is less dangerous? I really believe it's worth some effort and even awkwardness for the sake of safety.

Wolfiefan · 09/05/2017 18:08

Wouldn't it be safer to put one child in a front seat with the airbag turned off? You can't walk out in front of traffic and expect them to sit and wait whilst you put your child in the car.

plantsitter · 09/05/2017 18:42

Er, yes you can, on a public road. It's not a motorway.

I'm a driver but the fact that cars are considered more important than pedestrians really gets my goat.

WalkingInTheAir13 · 09/05/2017 20:55

Please do try and find a way round this - what you are doing is just so very dangerous. Putting children in a car roadside has resulted in many serious accidents and fatalities.

And there would be more damage to your car than a key scratch.

herethereandeverywhere · 09/05/2017 20:58

Please do try and find a way round this How?!

There are loads of roads in London (and I expect the UK) like this. Open/opening doors are one of the hazards driers are told to look out for.

WalkingInTheAir13 · 09/05/2017 21:11

For example:

Meglet Tue 30-Sep-08 14:48:57

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 09/05/2017 21:24

I catch a bus down a road crowded with cars parked on both sides and the bus often has to wait for people to close their doors, or slow down to squeeze past large cars, or wait while someone parks. It. Drives. Me. Mad. Potentially 60 people on the bus waiting for one person. I think that if you live in a crowded congested city and choose to drive you need to find a way to not unduly inconvenience others with your car. Cars parked on the road also make the roads more dangerous for cyclists and pedestrians trying to cross, and of course add to air pollution. So I'd either find somewhere off the busy road to park, or get on the bus yourself.

I doubt the driver will do anything if you complain about him, he probably doesn't live nearby and is hardly going to trek across London and risk a criminal record to key your car. But I'd just step aside and wait whilst the bus comes rather than complain.

Firstaidnovice · 09/05/2017 21:47

Surely if a road is narrow enough that a bus can't pass an open door, it is not wide enough for two cars (assuming it's not one way?).
So, presumably cars and buses have to stop and wait all the time to let other cars past? Therefore they are driving slowly and carefully with the expectation of having to stop and wait periodically? I feel a bit like I've stepped through the looking glass with everyone talking about how outrageous it is for OP to be parking outside her house, and using the roadside doors to get into her car.
I live in a town which is almost exclusively terraced housing with no off street parking. A lot of side roads are only wide enough for one car at a time. You stop to let people come the other way, park (can't believe someone upthread gets annoyed about having to wait while someone parks!), and sometimes load or unload from their car. It's just the way it is. There is nowhere else to park, and there is no physical way of getting a child into a rear facing seat from the front seat, or other side, so I see people getting children in roadside all the time. But it's one of those times where I realise I may be inadvertently enraging lots of people....

Original poster
upwardsandonwards33 · 10/05/2017 00:24

Firstaidnovice You are completely right. Buses are used to stopping as are cars on our road, having to wait for each other to pass. So me opening my car door doesn't stop them driving past. It's just that they do it with such speed and this particular bus driver beeping and gesturing is so unnecessary and rude.
The whole road is like this so I can't park anywhere else unless I sometimes have to ask my neighbours if they are going out so I can park on their driveway. There is often no parking by the time I have got back from the nursery run as people park on our road to go the station/ college but that's a whole other thread
So I have to carry baby who can't walk a loooong way.

OP posts: