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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said no to this childcare request?

78 replies

britespark1 · 09/05/2017 09:12

For background, we moved last summer so new school and nursery for our DSs (6,5 and 4), Middle DS has had some trouble settling in which I have previously posted about. New family moved onto our estate in Jan and their eldest son joined DS (5) in reception class. Started talking to the mum on the playground, her DS is having a few behavioural issues too so common ground but so far we have socialised no more than these playground chats.

Today she has asked me if I could watch her son before school and bring him to school with mine each morning as she has been offered a new job that starts at 8am mon-fri. She does have a partner but he has recently started a new job himself and her family aren't close enough to help. AIBU to have said no as mornings are quite hectic enough with my own 3 and I'm not sure I could cope with another (quite unfamiliar) child?

OP posts:
dinosaursandtea · 09/05/2017 09:14

God no. You aren't being U at all. She probably just asked you on the off-chance anyway.

Shoxfordian · 09/05/2017 09:14

Of course you're not unreasonable to have said no! She's really cheeky asking you to do that every morning!
Alternatively say yes but charge her for it

buttfacedmiscreant · 09/05/2017 09:15

I'm assuming if you wanted to take care of other people's children you'd have a job doing it.

YANBU to say no to something that doesn't benefit you and you don't want to do.

Pepsi13max · 09/05/2017 09:15

YANBU - that would be a massive commitment! I'm sure there are other options for childcare for her, is there a breakfast club or she could advertise for a local childminder, not your problem though.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/05/2017 09:16

No no no how cheeky and rude.

Cheguevarahamster · 09/05/2017 09:16

No yanbu. A one off would be fine, but every drop off is a definite no. She needs to find a breakfast club or other wrap around care. What was her response when you said no?

PoisonousSmurf · 09/05/2017 09:17

Her problem not yours. Hasn't the school got a breakfast club?

TiredMumToTwo · 09/05/2017 09:17

Wow, YANBU - how cheeky!!

KinkyAfro · 09/05/2017 09:18

YADNBU, the cheeky mare!

Original poster
britespark1 · 09/05/2017 09:18

There is a school breakfast club which I dropped into the conversation.....I just feel a bit mean and if I didn't have 3 DC then I would have wanted to help but I think 3 is hard enough work as it is. Glad I'm not BU! She was ok when I said no, said it was fine and carried on chatting so hopefully she hasn't taken offence.

OP posts:
MrsELM21 · 09/05/2017 09:19

Good grief no!!

wizzywig · 09/05/2017 09:19

5 days a week? For free? Are you expected to give breakfasts? Yikes

wizzywig · 09/05/2017 09:20

Oops just read your updatr

BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/05/2017 09:20

The cheeky feckers you read about on here are just astounding! The front of some people! A one off yeah, in an emergency, but a permanent set up!! Shock

So glad you said no OP!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 09/05/2017 09:22

She has confused you with a childminder. That's the only logical conclusion that doesn't mean she's either chronically lacking social understanding or a cheeky fucker.

Yanbu. If you're feeling kind point her towards local childminders/breakfast club.

harderandharder2breathe · 09/05/2017 09:24

Yadnbu!

A one off fair enough to ask for a favour. But regular everyday childcare, no way! She will need to pay for childcare like everyone else.

Don't feel guilty OP! You're busy enough with 3 DC of your own, but even if you weren't, her childcare problem isn't your responsibility.

NataliaOsipova · 09/05/2017 09:24

Agree! Could you do it next Friday as she has a doctor's appointment? Maybe - that'd be a nice favour. Could you do it every day? Employ a childminder! Unbelievable cheek.....

MuseumGardens · 09/05/2017 09:28

No, mornings are stressful enough with your own kids without adding extras. They can use whatever childcare they had in mind when she took a job that meant she couldn't do the school run.

Elphaba99 · 09/05/2017 09:30

YANBU. She needs to pay a childminder or pay someone to come to her house each morning and take her DCs to school.

GnatsChuff · 09/05/2017 09:30

A neighbour used to do this for me. She had 3 of her own. It wasn't every single day, only when I had to go to the office, so probably 3 days a week on average but varied by week. The school breakfast club would not take reception age children.
The difference was that she offered. I would never have asked. That would be way too necky. We have become really good friends now. And even though we have both moved and all the kids are at different schools, they are still great buddies and have got very adept at using Skype to arrange parental get togethers so they can play!

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 09/05/2017 09:30

My DS1 goes in a taxi to school (he goes to a school for kids with ASD) with his best friend. I drop him with his best friend's mum for 10 minutes every morning so I can get the two wee ones to nursery (it's just round the corner) on time. But we've known each other for years and it's only for a few minutes, I drop him where the taxi pick them up. I think this woman is taking the piss a bit.

BrieAndChilli · 09/05/2017 09:31

You're looking at what the next 7 years of 5 days a week taking him to school??!!
I took my friends kids to school and nursery a couple of times a week BUT it was only for a year and she paid me - this meant she didn't feel she was taking advantage and I didn't feel she was taking advantage plus I provided breakfast so wasn't out of pocket plus by being paid it meant I couldn't really just turn around one morning and say I didn't feel like doing it.

user1489179512 · 09/05/2017 09:33

Do not feel mean. She had a cheek to ask.

SecretNetter · 09/05/2017 09:34

If it had been for a couple of weeks whilst she settled into work and made permanent arrangements, it would have been nice to say yes to help out...but as a permanent arrangement yanbu!

Funnyonion17 · 09/05/2017 09:34

That's so cheeky. She can pay a child minder, you don't ask so much of a none close friend. I mean what if your child's off I'll or your I'll etc.

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