In inviting someone else?

[IntheBenefitTrap]

DS is having a party next week and he's invited 5 friends.

I sent invitations at the end of April including a menu because the venue wants the children's food choices. I asked parents to either tick the box for a food choice and send it back with DS or text me their choice.

Four out of five parents have text me their child's order and one hasn't. DS has asked and asked him for a response from his parent and we've heard nothing.

AIBU in firstly thinking this is really rude as now we don't have much time to invite someone else and secondly assuming that he isn't coming so we can actually invite someone else?

What if he turns up on the day?

I don't know the child's parents to ask them and I don't do school drop offs or pick ups because I'm disabled and he goes to after school club.

You would be unreasonable to ask another child. I'm sure it's frustrating but people can be very forgetful and/or busy - how can you be sure the child has passed on the message? How old are they? Surely you can get a mobile or an email address from the school?

The teacher gave the invitations to the parents so no chance they've missed it. They're 8. I'm not sure why I should have to - plus I'm a teacher and we aren't allowed to give out parent contact details because it's against Data Protection.

Ask for your contact details to be passed on to them?

Yes, I could do that actually, although they already have had them twice. Perhaps they've lost them.

You aren't being unreasonable assuming it's rude. I'd just try and exhaust communication options with the parents as I don't think asking an 8 year old to ask an 8 year old is enough.

I would invite someone else. I don't care how busy they are, not replying is just rude

I'd invite someone else and pass a message through school that unfortunately you've had to confirm numbers and menus so it's a pity but johnny won't be able to come.

(Phrase it more politely though)

I'd just wing it on the day or choose for them in advance.

I would ask your ds to pass a note for ds friend parents. Politely stating the need to reply.

Thank you everyone :) I've asked someone else - it's a team based party and DS was panicking over there not being enough people and not having enough time to sort out someone else. I'm not having him stressing out at 8 years old because someone who has had two forms of contact from us hasn't bothered to reply. I may be in the wrong here, but a text takes less than a minute to send and they've had best part of a month.

Also, I'm not paying for the party, his GPs are, and they've been giving me grief too so it's easier all round. If the child turns up, we'll sort something.