To think primary school should make this easier?

[Bestbees]

My twins are starting at out local primary in September. I recieved the paper work about induction programmes etc today. There are three meetings in the summer term all for an hour at 9.30am. These are said to be important so that we understand the induction process.

However i work (part time secondary teacher) and all the meetings are during those days. I will not be given time off for this. My husband could, but has an hour commute so would end up taking half a day holiday for each, which he cannot spare.

Also, there are 3 trial sessions for children during that term 2-3pm. We can manage these as we have a nanny, but how does that work if your children are in nursery?

I know that there isnt much they can do about the settling in sessions, but surely parent meetings could be in the evening?

So Aibu about this? What does everyone else do? I think i am a little over sensitive as MIL thinks I shouldn't work to accommodate this kind of thing and made a cats bum mouth when I suggested maybe i should go back full time and DH stop working

You just don't go. They send you out a pack/print out of the slides. You read that. Job done.

The three hours worth of meetings are for the overly anxious or the under prepared. People who need 20 minutes on uniform, 30 mins on packed lunches. Time to ask ridiculous questions etc.

At the end of the day, it's school. Just like it was when you went. It's all broadly the same.

Just make sure you let them know you can't make it and could they possibly send on the information, or you can pick it up at the settling in session.

Thanks nuff I didn't want to be that parent. But as i work in a school, and actually go into this school once a week, think I can manage the system!

Agree with Nuff

I have 5 DC and have never attended, nor been invited to any "induction" meetings. Seems a little OTT, to be honest.

Fill in the forms, read the literature and that should do it!

If you miss the meetings you'll miss the desperate getting to know one another and arranging coffee mornings and being really popular at pick up time opportunities. Run like the wind.

Are you sure you go to all 3 meetings and all 3 settling in sessions?
Not that there are 3 opportunities to do each one once?

Nanny could go to the meetings to feedback to you?

Watch out for phased starts at schools, some primaries make it very complicated with mornings only, afternoons only etc. luckily our primary did everyone full time from day 1.

You aren't missing anything. I went to the first one and they had 15 minutes on why it is important to turn up on time and a good 30 mins on uniform and how to tie a tie (which they don't wear until Juniors anyway). Really basic stuff, assuming parents are toddlers.

We're only going to one of four induction days at our school. I have 2 older kids there so I don't really need to hear it all again.
And yes it gives the kids a chance to see around and meet the other kids but they're not going to form lasting friendships in these sessions. They'll be fine without them.

I'm happy to be 'that parent'. Save your dh's holidays for nativity plays and sports days once they are actually in school.

Oh, and this is just the beginning. There's going to be a billion things you'll be invited to which you can't go and don't need to go to but will feel very guilty about not going.

And nothing will ever be in the evening.

FIO! Already been told that IT IS VERY IMPORTANT that i get on with everyone because otherwise it will be difficult for my kids. FUCK THAT. I aim to be the enigmatic mother who wafts in and out!

Primary school never make anything easy for parents.

This what is covered in a school near me in the 3 induction meetings.

1. Initial Induction/welcome meeting. At this meeting, parents are given a Welcome Booklet which answers many of the questions about daily routines as well as things needed in preparation, like a school book-bag, etc.
2. Reading and writing workshop. The staff give an overview of how reading and writing are taught in Class 1 and how the parent-school partnership is critical to the success of their child's development. Illustrations of how we work with children on their reading, for example Guided Reading, and use of the Reading Record Book, are integral to this, as well as finding out about the reasons why we teach cursive handwriting right from the start.
3. Numeracy workshop. This gives parents the opportunity to find out how we approach the teaching of mathematics in Class 1 and builds in time to have a play with some of the equipment their child will be using to help them learn.

Ok s consensus is ignore lots of it!

teenandtween yup its all the meetings.

We can manage the phased starts as nanny can help. But they will do full days after 2 weeks on the days I work.

There is also a whole bit about coming in with your child to do activities from 8.45 to 9 during the first week!

Deep breath.....

Crikey we have a 1hr intro session. Covering introduction pack, maths and English. Teacher answers questions at the end after the hour

'Oh, and this is just the beginning. There's going to be a billion things you'll be invited to which you can't go and don't need to go to but will feel very guilty about not going. '

This is SO true.

Our school does about a meeting a week during school time and after each one they send out a letter saying 'We were very disappointed to see that only two parents attended Mrs Huntington-Smythe's lecture on 'Why you shouldn't let your child sleep with a plastic bag on his head'. We remind parents that these sessions are run for the benefit of your child.'

Drives me mental.

Surely I am not the only parent who thinks - cool teach the kids with whatever is the current method. And not worry too much about it? Maybe as a teacher I just like it when parents let us get on with it. I will obviously support the kids but how much do I actually need to know?

we have a parent's meeting (evening) to cover induction stuff.

Then once kids are in school we have an evenign to explain reading and maths, again, evening.

Both meeting set at the worst time, eg dinner time, but this means that most people are home from work, and are able to come as younger siblings not yet in bed (so single parents don't need to find babysitter) Seems to work.

You must prepare for a steady stream of invitations to come into school though. It is a stated goal of our school to welcome parents in to the classroom. It has been very important in improving parent /school relationship. It also allows parents to see books, informal chats with teachers, etc. They are open mornings/class assemblies/come and share a craft together etc.

Lovely, open welcoming - except if you happen to be a working parents.

The whole primary school system is predicated on there being a SAHP (usually SAHM, let's face it). See numerous previous threads about schools expecting you to collect children within minutes if they're ill and the expectation at our local school that children only attend 1/2 a day in reception until half term! It's very frustrating

Nuffsaidsam That made me laugh

It probably is because you are a teacher. Many parents are anxious and need the support BUT there should be evening options. I know another school that expect parents to go in from 8.45-9 it's seems so unfair to those who go to breakfast club or whatever.

I am a part time teacher and I have missed things but generally if we thought it was important DH or a grandparent would go. I would ring the school and ask if 1 of the 3 was the most important and get DH to take half a day for that.

Also I think in my area most nurseries who have several children starting school have arrangements to get the children in to the visiting days from nursery. I don't think it's unreasonable to have your four year old visit the school 3 times mine will have had about 8 visits but all organised by the pre school. Hope your DC settles in well.

I suppost the answer is actually that employers are more aware and flexible about this as essentially its good for everyone if children are settled in well and do well in school.

Can you ask the nanny to go to the meeting to then relay the information to you?

I'd go / send DH / send your nanny to the first one, find a parent with an older child at the school, get their number, and then you'll have someone to text with random questions like 'do the mufti day instructions that say 'red t-shirt' mean 'red t-shirt and own clothes' or 'red t-shirt but the rest school uniform as usual'?

And ask them to send you the slides / class lists / times of the secondhand uniform sale / whatever other bumph they're handing out.

what always makes me laugh is the assumption that it is your 1st child. By the time dc 3 was going to the school, I was a governor and helping out in school. I didn't need any of the induction stuff, and only went to things she went too. She was so familiar with the school and the teacher that she could have easily gone full time from day one.