To think primary school should make this easier?

[Bestbees]

My twins are starting at out local primary in September. I recieved the paper work about induction programmes etc today. There are three meetings in the summer term all for an hour at 9.30am. These are said to be important so that we understand the induction process.

However i work (part time secondary teacher) and all the meetings are during those days. I will not be given time off for this. My husband could, but has an hour commute so would end up taking half a day holiday for each, which he cannot spare.

Also, there are 3 trial sessions for children during that term 2-3pm. We can manage these as we have a nanny, but how does that work if your children are in nursery?

I know that there isnt much they can do about the settling in sessions, but surely parent meetings could be in the evening?

So Aibu about this? What does everyone else do? I think i am a little over sensitive as MIL thinks I shouldn't work to accommodate this kind of thing and made a cats bum mouth when I suggested maybe i should go back full time and DH stop working

While I totally understand how difficult it is to fit school commitments around work I also think it's pretty sad to complain that your child's new school are inviting you to stay for short periods at the beginning of their first week.

This kind of thing is absolutely vital in helping chlidren settle and building relationships between parents and the school - and helping families learn to recognise the other people who will share the school years etc.

I value every chance to spend time with my reception age son at school - that doesn't mean I can always go - sometimes I can't, but I very much want them to make it possible and I try to attend when I can

Having kids involves time juggling - that doesn't stop just because they don't need pre school care anymore - surely you want to learn about their school and ensure they get settled in? It's a one off! Then you get 12 years of schooling that follows - you don't have to do this for them ever again

If you can't appreciate why the school do it - and you are a teacher! - I think you are not focusing properly on what a monumental thing it is to start school.

DOn't let your worries about missing things bother you so much you forget that the kids need this stuff. Just do what you can and ignore what you can't. It would be a sad world if schools just took your kids in on day one and didn't ever ask parents to learn more about their childs experience at school.

I think it's nice for the DC to see their parents in the school, and it can help them settle in and feel at home there, and feel like it's something their parents know and trust and value. So there is a real message in having some parents around the school sometimes.

I work FT too and don't do much of this, but every now and then I do go along to an assembly or a 'here's how we do phonics' or 'why you should not let your child read their reading books in the swimming pool' or whatever, if it fits around work. Or I do tiny bits for the PTA here and there.

Ask for the info you need, know that there will be days when all the other DC turn up in pajamas or red noses and you didn't know (yes, no matter HOW organised you are about letters), and YES YES to having a parents group online. we do whatsapp which i think is a zillion times better than fb for this purpose. if you don't get the homework or the letter or you don't know about the pajamas then you can always ask on the group.

I have said it is not that i dont value the settling in time for the kids. I resent number of meetings for parents! Theybare for us to attend without the kids.

The coming in in the morning suggestion is for the entire school year!

"I also think it's pretty sad to complain that your child's new school are inviting you to stay for short periods at the beginning of their first week."

This isn't what the OP was talking about. Clearly you can't read or process information, and so your sanctimonious approach to the school dragging parents in all the time is entirely appropriate in your case, as you can't be trusted to take anything in unless you are lined up and spoken to repetitively as if you yourself were at infants school.

I have a lot of sympathy with schools (especially at the moment) so no ire here but I think the 'one size fits all' approach doesn't really work.

A lot of teacher/staff time and resources are taken up on parents who really don't need to come in for presentations, meetings etc. A lot more info could instead be emailed out on a 'arrange a meeting if you've any questions' basis.
This might leave more resources to support the children (and parents) who need more attention.

The trial sessions are v useful for the kids though - I had a school refuser until she saw all the toys in the classroom...made settling in a lot easier.

(And yes it is all stuck in the 1950s a bit and can feel a bit 'mummy' dominated and the admin can be woeful but most schools are doing their best with limited resources - keep telling yourself that when they drive you nuts with last minute requests...)

Clearly you can't read or process information, and so your sanctimonious approach to the school dragging parents in all the time

Of course, it would be better if schools could take the children from the very first day, 07:30am to 7pm, to make their life easier. Who cares about the children, who cares about anything, school is just childcare so parents don't have to be involved. How dare they try various things to make the transitions better. Bastards.

When our youngest (of 4) DS was in reception last year we all had to make an appointment to have a phonics meeting/tutorial with the teacher before our child was allowed to take home a reading book.
You'd have thought with him being the fourth of my dc to have passed through school recently (dc3 is the year above) I would have been exempt.
No, there was a mini stand off and as much as dc4 and I were happy without a reading book, I genuinely think the teacher wouldn't have ever given him a book. So I sat though (4th in 5 years) the phonics tutorial and was then signed off as competent enough to support his reading at home 🙈🔫

I agree hive. This is not about me wanted to ditch my kids or think settling in isnt important. But about the hundreds of meetings which are likely to be admin hat could be emailed. About the increasing amount of wht is likely for many to be wifework and to create more anxiety aput what parents need to do so their children's education doesnt 'suffer'!

We have an induction meeting today. No kids tho. Just parents.

If you can't go, don't go.

The whole primary school system is predicated on there being a SAHP (usually SAHM, let's face it)

This is so very very true. I try and juggle things as much as possible but the number of bastarding plays / church services that school wants me to attend for one hour at 12.30pm.
I don't work near school and turning up means I need to take a days leave.

But to answer the op - just don't go. If you feel the need to send a note to the teacher explaining you are very sorry you can't make it and explain why.

Bestbees - the reality is lots of parents don't end up going to lots of things - the weekly reading morning in dd's class has only had a handful of parents on the rare occasions I've been there. Most parents work or have a younger sibling to look after (toddlers and school classrooms don't mix too well..).

There's lots of parts to parenting a school age child - most of which happens at home and is far more important than attending assemblies or craft mornings. Focus on what you can do, don't worry about the small stuff. In the long run it really doesn't matter.

How ridiculous. My DC go to an international school, you can do full days from age 2 and for the equivalent of reception, you just, err, go to school. None of this half day here, half day there bollocks. Doesn't seem to cause problems. The UK state school system doesn't half seem to create a rod for its own back!

Four - I'd have taken that further!

I am glad the schools still take into account parents of a first child, or foreign parents, people who don't necessarily know the system. I even went for my 3rd, because we moved area and all schools are different. are they really supposed to go through the list and not invite the know-it all, I am a governor, I already have 3 kids at school?

Not sure why you need to be bitchy, or why you assume I am a smug know-it-all.

I was simply making the point that not all parents need to go. The school still expected me to be there, despite realising it wasn't necessary.

My child's school have given me 2 days notice of the 3 induction days. I only have 1 day to give notice to my boss for time off as she works part time. I'm having to use 3 annual leave days as the times are right in the middle of the day so would involve commute etc. It sucks but I want to be there and ds is a bit anxious so needs me. The annual leave could be better used but it is only this year I suppose. What I would have liked is a little more than 2 days notice despite calling the school 2 weeks ago to try and get an indication of dates!

They just say lots of obvious stuff, then give you a print out. Can't quite see how they can make it stretch over several meetings.
The only thing I found out at mine was that in Somerset, plimsolls are called daps. Everyone else knew this, in fact half the mums had gone to that school.