Bought a "new baby" gift - now a christening gift?!

[ZiggyForever]

AIBU to not want to buy our friends a christening gift since we already bought them a new baby gift when she was born a few months ago?

We didn't know they'd be having a christening but we've just received an invitation in the post - it seems to be a big event with food and drinks at a golf course afterwards.

I don't want to turn up empty-handed but . . .

No i dont think yabu. I think just a card is fine if that's what you want to do. Or put some cash in if you feel really uncomfortable not giving anything and can afford it?

IMO christening presents should be for the life of the child not just as a baby. St Christopher is my go to prezzie for boys. Adult jewellery for girls. I still have my Christening presents and i cherish them (and I'm not religious btw!) So maybe look at it as a whole different type of gift if you want to justify buying something?

At the end of the day though, the Christening is about the Christening, not presents, so it's perfectly fine not to get a present if you don't want to.

Do whatever you want, but it is traditional to bring a gift to a christening and you do sound incredibly petty!

I once knew someone who had a birthday then got married a month later. Grabby bitch.

I second that you sound really petty. Plus it's been a few months, not a couple of weeks, can't you get the baby a little toy or something? They are going to the expense of a party after all.

Yeah you could just buy something small like a teddy or something
It's a bit mean not to take anything

How long does one have to wait before a christening ( if they want a christening) before you think it's acceptable?

I find it weird saying well you only had the baby a FEW MONTHS AGO and now your having it christened how dare they!

Do buy a gift, don't buy a gift.

You don't have to go. It would be quite rude to show up without a gift but if you were my friend I wouldn't hold it against you.

I'd personally be pretty chuffed to attend my friends baby's christening. If I didn't want to go (or they weren't a close friend) I wouldn't go!

Traditionally in the rc Church christenings were carried out on the first possibly sunday after the Birth. Both my babies were done at 3 months old. My favourite gift they each received was a steiff bear. Most people gave money for their savings accounts. They both have more savings than me .

Wow what a weird post?! I think they made a mistake in inviting you to be honest you don't sound licked a friend to the parents. I'm quite sure the cost of hosting you as a guest at the christening will be more than you'd spend on a present anyway so highly doubt they are being grabby

This is completely normal - you buy a new baby gift and then a Christening gift, whenever that may be.

I spent a lot of time, money and effort on a gift when the baby was born, I'm just surprised that, unexpectedly, I'll now have to get something else as well. I just think it's all getting a little excessive sometimes - baby shower gift, new baby gift, christening gift . . . never-ending.

YOU sound incredibly judgemental, NuffSaidSam, and the others accusing me of pettiness. There seems to be a distinctly militant breed of mumsnetters these days . . . very unpleasant people.

I think I'll give them some money for her savings account, or towards anything else they might need. Thanks all!

*like not licked haha!

Of course the christening is soon after the birth,they always were traditionally. Why would they tell you about a christening before their baby is born?

You can pick up a nice outfit for the baby for quite cheap. If money is a problem attending will be an expense altogether unless you plan on drinking tap water.

You don't have to go? Although the baby gift and then christening gift are pretty much standard where I am. All three of my kids were christened within 8 weeks of being born - I was a right freeloader . Neither gift has to be expensive.

I just think it's all getting a little excessive sometimes - baby shower gift, new baby gift, christening gift . . . never-ending.

So don't buy the gifts then?

People have babies and christenings because they want a baby and want it christened. In most cases they probably couldn't care less if you get them a guft.

I feel your pain I have the babies birthday, followed by sibling birthday followed by christening inside 3 weeks plus my own birthday, dds and dhs all together. The rivers household is skint

It's not militant to accuse somebody of being petty! Did they demand you give the baby a gift when it was born? No, you did it out of kindness. A christening gift is traditional but optional.
Suggesting that they are being grabby just by having a christening is mean.

What the help is wrong with people?!
You invite a friend to attend your child's christening because you want them to help celebrate the welcoming of the child into Gods family. You don't invite them because you want presents!

OP, I did similar - never expected them to choose for the child to be christened. I bought an inexpensive book which has a great deal of meaning in it and wrote a nice passage inside the front cover.
They should value YOU, not your gift

*hell

Maybe I'm just not used to the whole christening thing - this is the first friend who has arranged an actual christening so it's caught me off guard a bit.

You're right - it IS a privilege to be invited, I'll stop being grumpy now and look forward to celebrating on the day.

(Can I blame Monday-morning crabbiness? )

Oh come on.
A lot of people will do a christening when the baby is a few months old.
You have spent a lot of time and money for a new baby gift (why???). Fine. Don't this time. Buy a small teddy bear or the like. (Cheap and easy)
Not all gifts have to be extremely generous.

Btw be careful. If this is someone who you are close to (e.g. Family), this baby will also have their birthday soon......

You don't have to spend a fortune?

I always give a book as a christening gift - I buy a vintage copy of hardcover classic like Peter Pan and I write a nice inscription in the front of it. It usually costs about a fiver - the parents of the baby have loved it each time I've done this.