Bought a "new baby" gift - now a christening gift?!

[ZiggyForever]

AIBU to not want to buy our friends a christening gift since we already bought them a new baby gift when she was born a few months ago?

We didn't know they'd be having a christening but we've just received an invitation in the post - it seems to be a big event with food and drinks at a golf course afterwards.

I don't want to turn up empty-handed but . . .

Things might be different where I'm from (France) but apart from the godparents, I wouldn't think there's an expectation that everyone brings a gift to a christening...

Most of my DD's Christening gifts were children's bibles of various types and ages - which was perfect. Totally different to the toys and clothes most people gave us after the birth. People did baby shower (I got bullied into it) or baby gifts, but cards were appreciated as much as gifts!

Baby showers are a new thing and a expense but really I don't think you can say 'babies are so expensive these days' about new baby gifts and christenings, they are very traditional. Look at the three wise men even they bought Jesus a present and that was ages ago!

Money will cost more than the usual christening trinket btw. Little religious tokens and silver spoons and that type of thing are often given at christenings.

I'd never not take a gift or give money. So if you'd have known there was a christening you wouldn't have got a new baby gift?

YABU. You don't have to spend much but a token gesture would be nice. Maybe a book, like a hardback collection of children's stories or something? Sometimes The Book People have good deals.

You do realise that generally in religion such as Catholicism babies are baptised before they are 6 months old? They aren't having a Christening to be grabby and piss you off! Don't take a gift if you don't want to but be prepared to come over as tight.

I agree 'events' are fabricated and excessive sometimes. I just do birth and Baptism. None of the baby shower, pregnancy announcement or other twaddle.

Giving both a new baby gift and a christening gift (if one is held) are the most normal thing in the world where I am (usually within a few weeks or months of each other). I've never heard anyone complain about it.

If I'm close enough to someone to be invited to their child's christening, then I would've been close enough (and excited enough) to give them a newborn present too.

People expect presents for the pregnancy announcement now? Give me a break. What next - a present for announcing they're trying to conceive?

Aside from being extremely entitled and greedy, there's no guarantee the pregnancy will last, so it seems a bit "premature" to give an expectant mum a present at just a few weeks, or even months. Baby showers at eight or nine months are a different thing, though I certainly respect women who don't want paraphernalia even then.

Christening gifts (other than from godparents and direct close family) are usually small and religiously themed.

You could get away with just a card, but including a little something - maybe a Mass card not cash - would be usual.

Otherwise try a nice book - there are lots of editions of children's versions of bible stories readily available, or you could go for any/all of the Narnia books (because of the Christian allegory) to be kept for later.

Christenings used to be quite small affairs where it would mainly be family and godparents but these days it does seem usual to invite as many people as possible, to get as many gifts as possible and to show off about hosting a 'fantastic christening'.

The last christening we went to we weren't even acknowledged by the childs parents nor were we thanked for the gift we gave the child. Since then we have declined christening invites. No one ever asks us to be godparents it seems we are just invited to bring a gift!

OP, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Personally unless you are a godparent I wouldn't even bother going!

I agree christenings are so much less, well, Christian now.

The last one we went to, the parents had only been to the church twice and picked it because it was prettier than their actual local church. They had about 50 people to a golf club, a DJ, face painter and massive buffet. No mention of god or religion past the actual service. More like a mini wedding. The mum then send me a text with a picture of a Cross figurine thing baby had received as a gift with "do they think we're bible bashers or something?!" ... err, you had your baby christened?!?!!

We buy books. A hardback winnie the pooh anthology will be £10 on Amazon.
Or a bible or prayer book.
Wooden Noah ark

YABU. Having a Christening after a child is born is definitely not BU.

The pp suggestion of the Dr Seuss book is a perfect gift and inexpensive.

I have to say I find it doubtful that Christening gifts are the sort of thing many people would try to get in a calculating way, even quite mercenary people.

Also I wouldn't take not being invited to be a godparent badly, different people can seem appropriate depending on how you both see the role at the time.

YABU definitely OP.

I know you already got a gift for the baby when he/she was born, but is it really so much of a big deal to buy a little something for the Christening? You can literally get something for a tenner from one of the shops in town (like one of the card shops, (Clintons, Card Factory, or even The Works.) If you don't want to bother getting anything for the wee child, then don't go to the Christening.

Just literally posted invites for my baby's christening, slightly worried now

OP I know you have made up your mind now but just from the pov from someone about to host one, I really am only inviting very close people, I have a lot of good friends but only those I see being in my baby's life for a very long time. I wouldn't be upset if you didn't bring a pressie but if you do the book idea is lovely, anything with thought involved like that would be my favourite

struggling human - round here, christening gifts aren't a little bible or a nice copy of a book - people buy John Lewis vouchers, give cash, expensive baby clothes, balance bikes, toys...it's madness

VinoTime

Your ex-friend sounds awful!

All it would take is a few "friends" like that in addition to all the family stuff we need to get for and you'd have to remortgage to pay for it all!

OP - If you intend to go to the christening, I'd go for a thoughtful, not necessarily expensive, gift.