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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think giving notice of marriage...

122 replies

KentMum2008 · 07/05/2017 22:15

...shouldn't take more than an hour?

Posting here for traffic really. DP and I are off to the register office to give our notices tomorrow, yay! First marriage for both of us so not sure what to expect. My friend says her and her husband were both interviewed in separate rooms. I thought they only did that if you're not a U.K. citizen?
We've got all our documents etc, appt is at 2 and I really want to be back in time to pick DCs up from school. It's rare DP and I get the chance to pick them up together because of work, and they love it when we do probably because DP insists we go for milkshakes after

RO is a 35 minute drive away. AIBU to think we can give our notices and be back in time for 3:15 pick up? I've got someone on standby in case we're not back.

Also, I appreciate this isn't really a big life issue, but what is AIBU for if not for minor everyday dramas? Grin

OP posts:
Goldfishjane · 07/05/2017 23:09

.?
I didn't know this was a thing
Is it more a way of checking you are who you say you are and that you're not a bigamist?

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 07/05/2017 23:12

God my husband still doesn't remember my birthday or middle name (it's Laura-it's always says lauren) and we managed to get through our notice interview. Don't worry-and it shouldn't take an hour haha.

TinfoilHattie · 07/05/2017 23:13

DH and I are both British and were interviewed separately. It's to check that you do both actually know each other, and that you're not being forced into a marriage against your will.

It's all very quick though.

alonsypot · 07/05/2017 23:14

We didn't do this and I've never heard of it! Am Confused

GabsAlot · 07/05/2017 23:16

my dsis said she was interviewed seprately think her now dh got her birthday wrong lol

took about half hour apprently so u might b cutting it fine

MrsJamesMathews · 07/05/2017 23:17

Alonsypot If you didn't go to the registry office with your passports at least 28 days before you got married, then you're not married!

Revenant · 07/05/2017 23:19

We were interviewed in the same room but had to keep quiet when DH was answering questions and vice versa. The registrar did let me help when DH forgot the wedding date though. Took about half an hour.

Astro55 · 07/05/2017 23:20

Does having children together already make a difference?

ThouShallNotPass · 07/05/2017 23:23

It took us about 20 minutes and it was only that long because we couldn't remember the best man's middle name. As it was a local village registry office she said, "Oh that's Joyce's boy eh?" Typed in the details she knew and found his info. There was certainly no need for separate interviews and such. Why would it matter if DH knew my birthdate? Many people still willingly take part in arranged marriages and that's totally legal right? (unlike forced arranged marriages).

We're in Scotland by the way. May be different here I suppose.

Seren85 · 07/05/2017 23:25

I think it took 35 ish minutes. Possibly would have been longer but DH forgot a document he needed so wasn't interviewed. Not sure if someone else would have done it or one after the other. The interview (both UK born) was questions about his DOB, middle name, what his Dad did for a living etc then he went in to confirm the answers. He got similar when he went back the following week. Registrar was like a dragon!

PerspicaciaTick · 07/05/2017 23:26

It isn't an interview. It is you proving your identity, nationality, address and (if relevant) that you are free to marry.

Where I live an appointment for both of you will take 45 mins.

alonsypot · 07/05/2017 23:27

MrsJames I just googled and it looks like it's different for religious ceremonies, maybe that's why...

WankingMonkey · 07/05/2017 23:28

If they see you on time it should be pretty quick. When we did it we were in and out within 15 mins. 5 mins each inside and a few mins climbing/going down the huge staircase to the room Grin

ItsTimeForDuggee · 07/05/2017 23:29

Depending on how old you are they will ask your dads name and occupation aswell

WankingMonkey · 07/05/2017 23:30

There was certainly no need for separate interviews and such.

Really? I was told the reason for the separate interviews was to be sure that you weren't, for example, being forced into a marriage, to check (very basic questions) you actually know each other and such

We definitely had separate ones. But it was just questions about each others birthdays and such. DH got my birthday wrong ( Angry ) but it didn't seem to matter...he got the giggles after that too...maybe they just let him leave to be rid of the demented giggling madman with no memory Blush

GrimmDays · 07/05/2017 23:30

We weren't interviewed separately. They saw us at our exact appointment time together, and it lasted about 20-30 minutes. Quick, and easy

This was our experience as well. Both British citizens, U.K. Born. It was about 15 years ago though.

PerspicaciaTick · 07/05/2017 23:31

They should always ask for your dad's details - no matter how old you are.

Not every registrar will bother though.

PerspicaciaTick · 07/05/2017 23:34

You can give your adoptive father's details instead. Or your stepfather's (if he was/is married to your mum). Or no details at all if you prefer.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/05/2017 23:40

Yep - there's been a long campaign to stop the stupidity of having just the father's details on the cert, but it's still an issue. Absurd.

GabsAlot · 07/05/2017 23:43

oh ive just remembered she got asked about df aswell couldnt remember anything a they havent spoke for years

seems a bit ridiculous how thats relevant

goose1964 · 07/05/2017 23:45

DD said she was asked if she was getting married of her own free will 😍

BackforGood · 07/05/2017 23:49

So is this a new thing then? Or just for people getting married in the registry office. We certainly didn't do this.

PerspicaciaTick · 07/05/2017 23:50

Father's details aren't relevant. It is only really of interest to future generations trying to trace their family tree.
Makes no odds to getting marred.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/05/2017 23:57

'Only'.

Davros · 08/05/2017 00:00

We gave notice but didn't have any interviews but it was 25 years ago. In view of the law on forced marriages I think it's s good idea