to want to be able to shag DH?

[NeedAGoodRogering]

DH and I have been married 20 years and always had a reasonable sex life until the older DC became teenagers and were therefore awake later and would still be awake when we went to bed. House is smallish with walls that you can hear farts through so no question of getting down and dirty if they may still be awake. DC3 also has ADHD and will be awake until the small hours (melatonin did not work on him). Just to complicate matters youngest DC (7) STILL gets into our bed during the night or will be awake at 5am so an early morning fumble is out of the question too.

We had got into a good routine of a nice long session when they were all at school/college as DH normally has one or two days off during the week. This changed when DC1 finished college and is now at Uni so only needs to go out 2 days a week. She won't get a job as she is sooo busy so will spend much of the other days in bed which have clashed with DH's days off. She has now finished until September and won't bugger off out! In addition DC3 has been refusing school since January so he has been at home most days too. Although he has just started going in part time now.

We last had sex in December and I am fed up with it. I have considered telling DC1 that she needs to go out on her Dad's day's off so we can have sex but she will obviously be horrified and there will no going back from that.

What can we do? There is no spare cash for us to have an afternoon in a hotel. Don't fancy a fumble in the back of the car or an'al fresco' session as wouldn't be able to relax (obvs we can go 'out' and DC1 can babysit) as that would be a waste of time.

Sounds familiar. What about you and DH going away for the weekend? Do you have any relatives who could have the youngest or stay for the Saturday night?

Loud music and no explanations.
Plus if she is at uni and living at home she should maybe get a job just so she has some spare cash, after listening to loud heavy metal/rock for a days a week she may volunteer for a job!

PS I find mornings best when all are asleep.

Yy to the garage- we've done this loads of times 😉 or even try the shed

Although I like to think we're not that noisy, teenage kids must know that their parents have sex.

Probably missing the point here but if uni DD has finished now till September why isn't she getting a holiday job like most other uni students do? She'd be out of the house (bonus for OP and her DH!) and she could pay at least for her food.

Surely OP isn't happy with her lazing around in bed every day till September.

I feel your pain. We have an adult son (25, Aspergers, so may never move out) in the room next door. It's mighty inhibiting and DH will NOT be quiet!

I'm a bit grossed out by all thee people shagging in sheds and garages with their kids liable to wander past any moment. Just do it quietly in the dark like everyone else?

If you start shagging when your DD is at home, then that might be the incentive she needs to go out and get a job. Win - win.

Ds 1 has the room below us..he has a high bed...never forget the time he marched in saying...whatever you are doing that is making the bed creek,can you stop as my bed is under yrs...not entirely sure if he knew or not😯

Just shag him anyway. Loudly. They'll get out of the house pretty quickly.

Ha ha, best typo ever. And respect to you for still wanting to the do the deed regularly! Have you thought about one of those white noise makers in the hallway outside your bedroom? And you don't have to make it really obvious to DD, just say "we can't seem to get a bit of a relaxing quiet lie-in, so we'll put this here" which hints without making it obvious, and if she doesn't get the hint, those white noise machines (or pink noise or brown noise, whatever) drown out a lot. I have one outside my office at work, and it's hard for people to hear what's going on inside my office and for us in the office to hear any corridor/next office noise: www.amazon.co.uk/KEDSUM-Portable-Machine-Conditioner-Sleeping/dp/B01J9YCH4O/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1494184524&sr=8-1&keywords=white+noise+maker&tag=mumsnetforum-21

I suggest just doing it. She will leave the house, pretty much guaranteed. And will make herself scarce whenever possible in the future too on the offchance of hearing that again

Two teenager's and a toddler here. I feel your pain.

Nothing to add op but love your name

I was confused by anal fresco until someone mentioned the garage.

Have you got a dog? We encourage our teen DD to take our dog for a long walk if we want some alone time. It's sometimes cost us a tenner but it's worth it 😄.

When I had my boyfriend over as a teen, we used to do it on the floor on top of the duvet, and remain as silent as possible. At the time I was sure my parents never suspected- now I'm not 100% - but I know my stepdad was very much of the "not under my roof!!" Mindset. He said bf had to leave by 11.00 and I used to ask what they thought he did when I was at uni, to which they replied that they didn't care, just not under their roof!

I don't have enough floor space in my current room for us to put down a duvet for silent sex when the dc are teens...but I am pretty amused at the tables being turned!

Disabled toilets in MacDonalds

sorry but ew to those saying shag loudly so she gets the hint. that sort of thing can scar you for life !

cant you try a quiet position? like spooning? its not that difficult to not scream the house down.

I overheard my folks when we were on holiday once in our caravan, I was 16. The whole caravan was rocking. I wouldn't say I was 'scarred' as such, but I really do wish I hadn't heard them. Not a great memory, at all.

"DD, can you go get XYZ for supper please, Dad and I are going to take a nap. Take your time. Maybe go to the library too."

She should take the hint, if she doesn't then slap DH's arse and look suggestively at him in her view.

Get a bowl and lots of old keys, put it on the table and tell her you are inviting the neighbours round. Then buy some pampas grass. Then wait.

Ask her to do a big supermarket shop, the kind that takes an hour. Make a long list?

Tell the DC to get their lazy arses out of bed and out the door! Things have certainly changed since I was a teen but surely not this much.

Ds 17, goes to bed later than us and we went through the same sort of phase. Now we have a 'code' so he can go and walk the dog.

I dont think she will be scared for life if you have a nousy shag.
She will hopefully be horrified and move out.
Id prob just get louder if anything.