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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People in 9-5 jobs

101 replies

BubbleBall · 07/05/2017 15:37

How do you manage to fit everyhing in?

I've just started a new job and was quite pleased to find out I'd be working "office hours" with weekends and bank holidays off (it's not an office job). I live with DP who has a very similar setup and was delighted thinking home life would run more smoothly with us all having similar routines. DS goes to school and then a childminder until I pick him up when I finish.

I am exhausted. I get home in the evening and by the time homework, housework and dinner are out of the way I have to study- which I have no inclination to do at 8pm at night. At weekends we try to see family, spend time outdoors and do more thorough housework to keep the house acceptable.

I have pretty low standards when it comes to housework so its not as though I'm running myself ragged trying to keep everything spotless.

I found things alot easier when I did longer shifts over fewer days- that left me a couple of days to blast the cleaning whilst the house was empty and get some studying done too.

Granted I'm only a few weeks in and have been ill in that time too, maybe it'll get easier once I'm used to the change of pace, but how do you all fit everything in and still find time to actually enjoy life a little?

OP posts:
SheldonsSpot · 07/05/2017 15:42

I didn't.

I hated Monday to Friday, 9 to 5.

It's much easier having a day or two off during the week.

Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear.

Xmasbaby11 · 07/05/2017 15:44

It's the studying that you're struggling with - that's always tough working ft with kids.

I work 9 to 5 and struggle and don't study ! Or have high housework standards ...

BollardDodger · 07/05/2017 15:46

Yes. I much prefer shift work. Go shopping when shops are empty, make appointments without taking time off work. Go to events at school with no problem. No travelling in rush hour. Working at weekends rather than tripping over everyone else's feet. Sunny midweek afternoons sitting in the garden in the sun.

TeaBelle · 07/05/2017 15:46

I do 3 days per week at the moment. When I go back to doing 4 I am planning on getting a cleaner and doing online shopping to save time.

Whathaveilost · 07/05/2017 15:48

I had to do a stint of 9-5 a ew years ago and it was horrible.
Now I work 148 hours over a 3 week period and often have 3.5 or 4 days off in the week, depending what else is going on at work. Life is so much easier being a shift worker!

Catherinebee85 · 07/05/2017 15:50

9-5 killed me after years doing shifts. I now work 3 long days/nights a week.

Maybe you'll get used to it? Maybe you've just found out the hard way that shifts suit you better?

Justanothernameonthepage · 07/05/2017 15:54

Online food shopping helps. 2 small shops twice a week. Housework involves everyone helping out - even our 3 year old helps with dishwasher, but we only dust and Hoover 2 times a week. Laundry we generally don't iron (DH does his shirts). We see family maybe twice a month and Saturdays are our chore day, Sundays family day. Meal plans, batch cooking. We have early starts which helps as well thanks to our DS. A couple of times a year we take a day off work to fit in things we can't normally (spring cleaning, Christmas shopping etc). I would say the biggest factor is everyone pulls their weight and decluttering helps too.

AyeAmarok · 07/05/2017 15:58

How long will the studying be necessary?

I always thought it would be better to do three or four long days rather than 9-5.

NapQueen · 07/05/2017 16:00

I went from shiftwork to office hours about 2 months ago. Its been a steep learning curve for me, but the bonus of no night working, every weekend off, guaranteed christmas off etc are making up for the change.

Stuff I now do:-
Sunday afternoons are house based. I pull out all mine and the kids clothes/uniforms for the week and get them ironed and laid out on the dining table.
At the same time, dd does her homework, ds naps.
Saturdays we go out all day.
Laundry done as and when, usually one or two loads in the week and another two at the weekend. Not necessary in the week as all clothes are ready.
Dh and I eat something quick each evening, and I prep my work lunch while making our dinner.
We have a no housework after food policy so one sorts the kids and the other does stuff round the house. Then one bathes kids abd puts them to bed while the other makes dinner.
We have low standards.
We have young (2 and 5) but relatively self sufficient kids who are happy just doing garden playing or whatever.
We accept there will be areas we cant include. Our bedroom is always messy. The kids room is usually messy. The public rooms are usually tidy.

Original poster
BubbleBall · 07/05/2017 16:01

Online shopping isn't really worthwhile- I live basically next door to a huge Sainsbury's and we can't afford a cleaner.

I've thrown the towel in for the housework today because I'm knackered, but I know that will just leave me extra to do through the week. We have clean clothes to wear and plates to eat off so I suppose that's all that matters but it would be nice if I was sitting on MN not having to feel guilty that we haven't gone outside today or that the house is messy.

I need to see my GP and I can't find time to go, I need to purchase some work equipment from a specific shop that only opens 10-4 on weekdays, the garden is a state, we can't afford to employ anyone to help.

DP has guests coming to stay at the weekend and I have no idea how I'll survive lookong after them as well.

OP posts:
Zhan · 07/05/2017 16:07

I'm a nurse and so used to work 3 long shifts a week making up full time hours. I used to think that was tiring until I got a job in the community working 8 - 5pm five days a week. I found it impossible and depressing. When I wasn't at work I was doing housework. I couldn't even book a doctors appointment without hassle. I hated it. I lasted less than a year and have gone back to condensed shifts.

user1487941567 · 07/05/2017 16:08

I am surprised to hear this. All of my family do shift work and although they seem to be off all the time, (I think it was 4 on/4 off and the a week off every month or something) they always criticised me for having such an "easy life" with my 9-5. Which was in central London so an hrs travel there and back. I am actually really shocked that others struggle with this set up too!

I used to do washing in the night and hang out in the morning. Did the ironing. Hoover etc when I get in, dishes would build up admittedly as I can't wash up when baby is asleep due to tiny flat and the sink noises... and like PP the kids rooms aren't tidy at all!

Xmasbaby11 · 07/05/2017 16:14

With 9 to 5 you see the maximum of your kids. It's my preferred pattern. I see mine every morning and every bedtime. Also if your dp works the same pattern, you have every evening together. That's quite a massive bonus - for most people!

AcrossthePond55 · 07/05/2017 16:15

Worked 9-5 for 35 years. I'm sorry but I don't think it's that big a deal. I don't ever remember feeling 'exhausted', but I had an office job and wasn't studying for anything. You do what you can when you have the time. We split duties and did our shopping & major housework on Saturday mornings (tidying was done as we went during the week). If you have a cooperative and helpful partner it's easier. If you drive, easier yet.

Can you afford a cleaner? And remember that if you're 'new' at this that you'll establish a routine at some point.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 07/05/2017 16:18

Get up early and do your housework, its far easier when there's no one else around.

I have to be honest, when you're out at work all day, why is house work and issue? I always found there's no one in the house to make it untidy? Washing up - in the dishwasher, unload it next morning. Load of washing in the machine, hang it on the airer/on the line over night, fold it up in the morning until you iron. One of you whizz the hoover round when the kids are in the bath. Wipe bathrooms and kitchen as you use it. 'Deep clean' the bathroom with spray on over night, bleach in the loo as you leave for work every morning.

It's all a matter of routine.

Pitbull · 07/05/2017 16:19

Regardless to what anybody else says, 9-5 jobs are the best. Reliable working hours. You deal with everything else during the weekend or online.

CricketRuntAndRashers · 07/05/2017 16:23

Mine is more like... 9-8/9-9...

Anyhow. Can you afford a cleaner? Or a housekeeper?

happypoobum · 07/05/2017 16:24

Well if they are DPs guests why isn't he sorting out looking after them? You don't mention him much.

Has he been used to you doing the lions share and now things need to change?

SlapperPJ · 07/05/2017 16:25

What is your DP doing whilst you are doing all the housework/food prep etc etc after his 9-5 job?

Whatthefudger · 07/05/2017 16:26

I'm a 9 to 5 worker. Well actually half nine til half five, because I drop ds at school then go in . I get in at six, then devote my time until bed time to ds. When he's in bed at half eight I might do 20 mins house work, then like you. I study. It might be easier as I have one, but step dcs come every fri for the weekend. Sunday nights I iron for the week.

I am mostly constantly knackered, but studying finishes in two years and my kids are growing up. So I'm used to it.

deblet · 07/05/2017 16:27

I find routine helps. Sundays are family days we do nothing but laze about or a trip out if we are in the mood. Mon to Fri its a strict routine of work/school, dinner on and a wash load, homework, lunch boxes for next day ,dog walked and she and rabbit fed. Dinner about 7 ish, washing into dryer, clear up kitchen dishwasher on, check everything ready for the morning, baths and a bit of tv/computer, dryer emptied folded and put away and bed. Saturday is menu plan, order Tesco shop for next Friday evening, beds stripped and washed and other washing throughout day, any homework done (I am training to be a counsellor so includes me) and a clean through with everyone helping. My kids are older and we have a chores list we work through. Only exception is Weds evening when I stop to pick up fruit milk and bread on way home. We finish Sat with a movie night. After a few weeks it is quite quick to do I must admit I de cluttered a lot before going back to work full time. And we use bank holidays and weekends to do any diy or gardening.

PNGirl · 07/05/2017 16:28

Where is DP when you're running ragged and doing homework, housework and dinner?

PNGirl · 07/05/2017 16:29

For what it's worth, we don't have children yet but if we do we've already discussed we probably won't be able to manage both of us working full time.

Sidalee7 · 07/05/2017 16:33

I work 5 days - Mon to Thursday I am out of the house 7.30-7, Fridays are from home.

Without the day from home, a good cleaner and family on tap to help with the dc I would really struggle. I'm on my own but ex is supportive and has the kids 2 nights a week.

I am soooo tired! I have literally never been so exhausted. I feel guilty for spending so much time away from my kids, I never really get to go to the extra curricular stuff.

Working 5 days with kids is HARD. Personally I would rather prioritise a cleaner over other treats, is there any way you can? Nothing is better than getting home to a clean house with beds all made up, so much time saved.

alonsypot · 07/05/2017 16:37

I'm an 8-5 worker and have been for years but I do find some times (and jobs!) more exhausting than others.

You said it yourself - you're 2 weeks in so you're still learning everything and probably still mentally "on edge" and in Best Behaviour mode, if you know what I mean. So, especially if you've been unwell, you're probably more exhausted than you will be in future. It will get easier over time, you'll relax and get used to the people, job and place; and also the pattern and just getting general life stuff done.

Yy to getting your DP to look after his guests - he probably hasn't really twigged that things have changed yet either, and that you really don't have the time to rush around after him or them any more.