Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Co- sleeping

61 replies

Happyhappyveggie · 06/05/2017 20:39

My DC's co- sleep with me & DP quite a lot. I've never really thought much of it until someone I know was utterly scathing about kids sleeping in bed with parents, saying it was totally unhealthy. Our house is a bit like musical beds at times - DD 5 sleeps with me a lot and DS 9 will still want to come in maybe once a week. It seems to make them feel reassured and I always took the view that it won't last forever and they will grow out of it- which DS 9 is currently doing.
Aibu to worry about it? I just have always had a laid back view on it. Another friend said she lets her DS 10 still sleep with her occasionally if he wants to but it's rare.
The other woman who was scathing was very against it from all viewpoints saying it made kids dependent and was weird and unhealthy- I never thought it was weird and know lots of people whose kids still want to sleep in the bed with them.

OP posts:

Crispbutty · 06/05/2017 20:42

As long as your relationship with your partner is not suffering because of it, then why worry.

DeadGood · 06/05/2017 20:42

Yes, YWBU to worry about it.

Kids co-sleep in many many cultures, and have done for thousands of years, so in what way could it be "unnatural"?

Your friend is an idiot.

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/05/2017 20:45

It's not personally something I'd di. I can't imagine alot worse.

I won't deny I read threads here sometimes and think the mum's more reliant on it than the baby is it that it's got to a point where it's ridiculous or that it's masking or explaining things that really don't sound normal akd causing problems like toddlers feeding constantly all night and then not eating.

But everyone has their own ideas and parenting strategies and I guess as long as everyone's happy there's no harm in it.

But everyone should be happy.

SnapJack68 · 06/05/2017 20:47

Tell the scathing person to shove her strong opinions on your choices up her hoop

honeylulu · 06/05/2017 20:47

Take no notice. If you're all happy then that's fine. As PP have said it was how we evolved!
And I am someone not (personally) in favour of co-sleeping

SuperBeagle · 06/05/2017 20:50

It's not for me. I have never coslept. I do think 9yo is too old, but I'd not engage in a debate with you about it. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

RiversrunWoodville · 06/05/2017 20:54

Dd1 is 7 and rarely co sleeps unless she's ill or has a nightmare but will come in for the odd Sunday morning cuddle and on birthdays and Christmas etc dd2 is 2 and cosleeps takes up the entire superking bloody bed but we are happy with that she won't be there forever

Theresnonamesleft · 06/05/2017 20:59

If everyone is happy in the house what's the problem?
My 18 year old, yes year not month, slept in mine a few weeks ago. She couldn't sleep. She's not dependent on me. Weird or clingy. Just one of those times that she wanted me.

luckylucky24 · 06/05/2017 21:00

In a few years when they stop coming in bed at night for cuddles you may well miss it. Ignore your friend.

StiginaGrump · 06/05/2017 21:02

Historically and globally the norm-separate sleeping is the innovation.

Firenight · 06/05/2017 21:04

If it works for your family then who gives too hoots what anyone else thinks.

Mine are 7 and 3 and cosleep with us (the small one all the time; the big one for about half the night). They will outgrow it when they are ready.

teaandakitkat · 06/05/2017 21:04

So long as everyone is happy.

We had to stop when ds was about 5 because he's such a restless sleeper no-one was getting any sleep, including him.

But if you're all happy then I don't see a problem.

shuckleberryfinn · 06/05/2017 21:05

Does your scathing friend sleep alone? Adults quite often don't and that's considered healthy. Why do we expect more of children than we do of adults?

Daydream007 · 06/05/2017 21:38

YANBU. Nothing wrong with it when they are young and it's a normal thing to do in a close family.

DonaldStott · 06/05/2017 21:44

When dh has hayfever/a cold etc, anything which will make his snoring 10 times worse, he gets in dd's bed and she gets in with me. Dd is 8. It's fucking bliss tbh. Also if she asks to get in bed with me, I let her and dh sleeps in her bed. It's no biggy. It wont last forever. I'm sure in a couple of years, the thought would not appeal to her

So yabu to be concerned. Enjoy the snuggles.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 06/05/2017 21:47

We coslept with our little boy until he was 14 months, we had to stop as I am recovering from surgery.

We never really planned to cosleep but it just happened. My DH was probably keener than me once DS got to a year. We only have a double bed and at times it was a tight squeeze however I do love snuggling with my baby boy.

Freezingwinter · 06/05/2017 21:48

I'm 29 and still sleep in my moms bed when I go to hers!

I'm not weird (I think)
And of all the things to have snotty opinions over, where someone sleeps shouldn't be one of them!

C0untDucku1a · 06/05/2017 21:54

My ds5 sleeps in between me and dh. He says he gets lonely in his own room. He sleeps better with us.sleep is important to me.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 06/05/2017 22:06

My little boy is quite clingy but he is 15 months old, he hardly needs to be striking out for independence.

He does now sleep in his cot but still naps with me in the afternoon.

I don't think YABU

witsender · 06/05/2017 22:18

Our 5 year old comes in at some point most nights. Never sure what time, I just know I'm cuddling him when I wake up in the morning. The nigh on 7 yr old comes in a couple of times a week at the moment.

I am expecting in October, so we will be making the bed bigger (attach a single to the king size) and getting a co-sleeper cot for the side. They're still going to want to come in at points so there needs to be room for all of us.

So it isn't something we worry about, it is very normal.

Fab39ish · 06/05/2017 22:35

I didn't really Co sleep much with my first two. But Dd1 did once say why do I have to sleep on my own when you share with daddy? She had a point .
Dd3 on the other hand has coslept lots.
Yanbu op

OvO · 06/05/2017 22:46

Don't even give her opinion headspace.

I still co-sleep with my 9 year old. He's a happy, intelligent, well-adjusted boy.

He'll sleep in his own bed if asked (no drama or tears) but prefers mine for now. So I let him. I figure he'll be a hulking great 6ft bloke before I know it so just enjoy this time.

thethoughtfox · 06/05/2017 22:46

I am so jealous. DD has never wanted to sleep with us. Snuggle those babies while you can.

OvO · 06/05/2017 22:50

I feel suspicious about what goes in in the minds of people who say it's weird or wrong. Fine if it's not for you and to say that. Claiming people are doing something 'unhealthy' by sharing a bed makes me worry about some people.

Cel982 · 06/05/2017 22:56

It's not personally something I'd di. I can't imagine alot worse.

Really, Giles ? You can't imagine a lot worse than sleeping cuddled up to your child? How bizarre.

DD (3.5) recently moved from our bed into her own room. I love when she comes in in the morning and climbs in between us. #2 is due any day now and I fully expect we'll be co-sleeping for the next few years at least.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread