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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ask him to leave

74 replies

rosgirl · 06/05/2017 20:05

I feel so silly complaining but I honestly don't think I can stay with him for much longer. he works full time but will not pay bills, pay for food or help at all. he won't watch the children and has to lie in everyday he isnt working even if I've been up all night ( like every night this week ). He believes its women's work at honestly will not lift a finger. Today we celebrated dd 6th birthday and he didn't get out of bed until he had to go to work, now he's walked in and when she told him its her birthday said "oh is it" then dropped it. Complained he's tired and is expecting his dinner. Aibu to ask him to f* off or am I just over tired and irrational!??

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 06/05/2017 20:07

Tell him to fuck off. He's a complete waste of space.

Are you married to him? Do you rent or do you have a mortgage together? If you rent, whose name is on the tenancy?

ImperialBlether · 06/05/2017 20:07

And don't feel silly complaining - you have every reason to.

Crunchymum · 06/05/2017 20:07

Get rid. Now

bunnylove99 · 06/05/2017 20:08

Is he the father of your children? How long have you been together? Flowers

justkeepswimmingg · 06/05/2017 20:11

Yes that would be the end for me. Sounds like a crap excuse of a father, and I couldn't be with someone who didn't care for my children. My DH being a wonderful father makes me love him more than I ever did, pre-kids.

froyotogo · 06/05/2017 20:14

He said that to a 6 year old?? He is cruel. Has he always been a massive dick?

acatcalledjohn · 06/05/2017 20:18

Let me get this straight: he works full time but refuses to pay bills, so yo pay everything?

I'd say you'd be better off without that. Financially, mentally and physically.

PeaFaceMcgee · 06/05/2017 20:21

Yanbu. Tell him to fuck off.

IJustLostTheGame · 06/05/2017 20:21

Seriously??????
Kick the useless tosspot out.
He's a cunt.

PeaFaceMcgee · 06/05/2017 20:22

And why on earth do you feel silly complaining?!

He's a cruel selfish bastard who has taken the piss for far too long.

Comeuppance time.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 06/05/2017 20:23

Tell him to fuck off.

Original poster
rosgirl · 06/05/2017 20:24

He has always been like this but we've never been in the position where he's been working before because of am accident. We've been together three years but only lived together just over a year when our son was born. I pay everything and when I ask him for money he just says he owes it out every week or that I shouldn't nag him for money. He also has the only car so the three kids and I walk as I'm not allowed to drive his car even though I'm insured on it and he's always driven mine as this is his first car. I'm done tbh but I don't think I can put the kids through another break up after their dad attacked me and we left

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 06/05/2017 20:25

If housework is women's work then men's work is paying bills and providing. He can't have it both ways.

He's an arsehole. And that's before ignoring a 6 yo's birthday.

QuiteLikely5 · 06/05/2017 20:25

This man is pathetic selfish and absolutely disgusting.

He should not be exposed to children as a role model because he is useless and abusive!

Do you love him?

ItsOutThere · 06/05/2017 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheElephantofSurprise · 06/05/2017 20:28

Learn this phrase:
"I am done with this useless, selfish prick."
Pop his stuff in binliners and lock him out.

BaldricksTrousers · 06/05/2017 20:28

So he's not the father of your kids? And you're doing OK financially on your own? Why is he even still in your house, tell him to go away. He sounds like a bad choice for you and your kids....do you think they will miss him?

averylongtimeago · 06/05/2017 20:31

So what exactly is the point of your relationship? Are there any benefits at all?

NavyandWhite · 06/05/2017 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hillfarmer · 06/05/2017 20:31

I feel that you can indeed 'put the kids through another break up', think what you are putting them through living with this utter tosser?

You deserve more than this. Your kids deserve a happy mum. This guy is only going to grind your self esteem into the mud. Get him out while you still have some. Good luck.

PeaFaceMcgee · 06/05/2017 20:31

There's no shame in being a single mum. Don't put up with it. They'll learn life lessons by your example - either way.

RoboticSealpup · 06/05/2017 20:32

He adds nothing to your life but stress and upset, by the sounds of it.

So he's not the father of your kids?
He is the father of one child, as I understand it.

PeaFaceMcgee · 06/05/2017 20:32

The hurt your little girl must be feeling. I spent my childhood being ignored and it's caused extensive damage.

gamerchick · 06/05/2017 20:33

But you're not putting them through a break up. He isn't present in their lives anyway Confused

Tell him to sling his hook, you're not exactly going to be missing anything if he leaves are you?

And yes if that's his attitude to woman then he should be doing the providing. He's a cocklodger and you're letting him.

Theresnonamesleft · 06/05/2017 20:36

It's better to break up than show
Your kids rhythms is acceptable. Think of your dd. Would you want her living with such a cunt? No. But sadly she is learning this is the norm.