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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I selfish

61 replies

user1494083116 · 06/05/2017 16:25

I do everything for my partner who doesn't work do anything around the house unless it's for him I run around after his daughter when she's here. I run around for his folks and work 50 hours a week. This week was my first holiday since Christmas and I was looking forward to some rest some fun and some quiet. In stead of anytime for me we've had his daughter who is off school yet again and as her mum won't have time off to look after her I'm doing it because she knows I'm on holiday this week , so I've had no rest no fun nothing for me at all. She was supposed to go home today leaving me 1 day left for me , I came home from visiting family to find out that we now have her until Sunday night without being asked. I had a romantic night and day planned which I've got to cancel and was told I was selfish for wanting 1 day to myself before I go back to my 50 hour a week job which isnt easy and is very tiring am I wrong to want 1 day for me. I feel like everyone and everything comes before me I just wanna scream what about me I am really selfish ????

OP posts:
Gbean · 06/05/2017 16:26

I think you know you're not selfish. You are, however, a doormat and you must stand up for yourself.

Jimcanna · 06/05/2017 16:26

No, he is.

PovertyJetset · 06/05/2017 16:27

Not selfish but why are you letting them take you for a mug?

youwouldthink · 06/05/2017 16:28

Emmm...go on your day and night out. Use it to plan your next steps, which should involve running!

Crunchymum · 06/05/2017 16:28

Does your partner work?

ilovesooty · 06/05/2017 16:28

Why are you with a cocklodger like him?

WellErrr · 06/05/2017 16:29

I only had to read your first sentence.

You're not selfish.

user1494083116 · 06/05/2017 16:29

I know I'm a door mat I feel like I'm stuck in a rut if I left I've no where to go. I love him but he never shows it hasn't for 6 years .

OP posts:
Smellbellina · 06/05/2017 16:29

Your OP is a little confusing, does your DP work or not?

ImperialBlether · 06/05/2017 16:29

It's great you're not married. You can leave this complete waste of space and start again on your own.

Honestly, OP, what happened to you in the past to think this man is all you deserve?

user1494083116 · 06/05/2017 16:30

He hasn't worked for years has a medical problem so he can't work he sits on his ass all day while I work cook clean well pretty much everything the more I write the worse it sounds !

OP posts:
StewieGMum · 06/05/2017 16:31

It's been 6 years. Do you really want to spend another 6 trapped with a selfish lazy cocklodger?

Busybee233 · 06/05/2017 16:32

Speak to him sit him down tell him how you feel you either have to put up with it and say nothing or give him an ultimatum I know it will be hard but you can't keep on doing everything for him does he pay his way or do you pay for everything

user1494083116 · 06/05/2017 16:32

He doesn't work no

OP posts:
user1494083116 · 06/05/2017 16:33

I was treated badly and cheated on a lot that why maybe I put up with it the way I do I feel numb really

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 06/05/2017 16:33

If you were to take a week off work and not tell anyone then you went away for that week what would happen? Would they manage? Answer honestly.

user1494083116 · 06/05/2017 16:34

I pay for pretty much 90% of everything

OP posts:
Mothervulva · 06/05/2017 16:34

Don't look after his kid, that's for sure. Free child care.

ilovesooty · 06/05/2017 16:34

Oh FFS. Do you intend to be walked on for the rest of your life? You're working and not married to the prick. Of course you can leave.

user1494083116 · 06/05/2017 16:35

No the cat would starve to death and he'd not take is medication

OP posts:
HildaOg · 06/05/2017 16:35

Run. Find a man who will contribute as much as you do and be happy. You are worth so much more than this.

ilovesooty · 06/05/2017 16:37

If he didn't take his medication it's not your problem.

user1494083116 · 06/05/2017 16:39

Thanks for all the advice I know your all right it's just time to give myself a kick up the ass as leave soon

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 06/05/2017 16:40

Stop doing it. Just stop.

Are you married? Is the house rented or owned?

blueskyinmarch · 06/05/2017 16:43

His medication is not your issue - he is a grown man. The cat can go with you when you leave.