Why is it OK to leave your child alone OUTSIDE the house, but not INSIDE?

[MythicalChicken]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. It seems to be acceptable to let children - even quite small ones - play outside alone, in the front garden, or on the street or even to go to the park.

However, if you dare to leave your child alone at home, you are vilified.

Why is that?

Because presumably if you're child is playing outside the house then the parent is inside the house so 1. They can keep an eye, 2. Kids know exactly where you are and 3. They aren't far away.

By leaving a child inside the house, what happens if they need you? You aren't exactly going to be in the front garden are you?!
P.s I'm not getting into the argument about when kids should be allowed to play out. I have my own opinions on that. Buy just stating how it's totally different.

But dozens of children have gone missing whilst playing outside. Their parents clearly weren't keeping an eye on them enough to stop that happening.

Id leave a child inside watching tv or playing and go outside to put out the washing etc.
I would leave a child playing outside in the back garden whilst I went inside to get a drink etc.

I am not judging anyone who does either. However, there have been loads of kids abducted from the front garden, the street or even further away from home.

I don't see their parents being accused of neglect.

I agree op. Don get the view that you are stifling kids if you don't let them play out but leaving a 10 year old watching tv while you run an errand is seen as wrong.

When my first two were small we lived in a small town in Germany, where it was totally normal to leave your very young children in the house alone if they were contained/sleeping. We were horrified by this but to them it's the norm.

We were the only ones walking to kindi each day to pick up dd1 with dd2 in a stroller/sling...the other parents and teachers thought this was such an inconvenience to bring the baby and we be daily reminded just to leave her home in her crib!!!
I just never could!!!

On a side note, The kids also frequently played out with no clothes on, at all, running up and down the street and when you went to the local open air water park there was always a few completely starkers adults in the pools with naked children - sometimes not their own children. Always felt really really icky to me. Maybe the way I was brought up, but one day a completely naked stranger fella tried to pick up my DD who was about 4 at the time (and wearing a bather!) and it just felt so so wrong to me. We never went back!

YANBU, its a difference on perception. Generally, I wouldnt leave a child alone until I felt they understood the potential risks in that situation, and had learned coping strategies.

However, there have been loads of kids abducted from the front garden, the street or even further away from home.

I'm not sure I would agree with "loads". Plus people usually mean playing outside with other kids, not on their own - the idea being (rightly or wrongly) that they will look out for each other and get an adult if something goes wrong. If a child is alone indoors and has an accident then nobody might realise. (It happened to a little boy near where I live recently who cut himself and was unable to get help )

If my child is playing outside, I haven't 'left them alone'. They are being allowed to go a certain distance from me but they are being supervised. My DD is still too little for this but she will be allowed outside to play in an age-appropriate way, just as she might be left alone inside in an age-appropriate way.

How old are these children who are being abducted?

Children are by far, more likely to be injured inside the home than not and that only increases when they're unsupervised. There's also a greater chance of someone seeing an accident if they are outside, then if they are in.

As for stranger danger, people children know, are a far greater risk to them than strangers. I could go on but I hope you get the gist.

It is ok. It's just most people choose not to.

MN is usually overwrought on this issue

Age and responsibility comes into it a lot too.

Agreed age makes a massive difference as does situation.

E.g. a 10 year old staying at home watching telly whilst you nip to the corner shop in under 10 mins is totally different to leaving 5 year olds and toddlers at home whilst you go to the supermarket for an hour.

If children are playing out they're playing out usually with others and all parents are aware of it too and they have a set area that's allowed.

Abductions by strangers are incredibly rare. Children injuring themselves in the home is much more common.
Children are more likely to be harmed by an adult they know than a stranger.

I don't think it's ok to leave your kids outside alone at all!

If they are old enough to go to the park on their own, then they are old enough to be home alone. They might not be old enough to be left in the house with a group of friends however.

I think the difference is that you are home. They know where you are and how to reach you. If they'r ehome and you're out, you could be anywhere and not within easy contact.

I mean, statistically. If you look at all of the high-profile child abduction cases from the last few decades, how many of them were taken from their own home? Very few. Most were taken whilst playing out unsupervised. I don't recall the parents of these children being pursued for neglect.

8 yr old dd only plays out in the back garden when I'm downstairs and have her in view. She doesn't play in the front unless I'm watching her so this happens rarely. There aren't any other children in our road.

There was a recent abduction on a secondary school girl walking home from the bus a couple of months ago. No way do I want to risk my child. Different people, different attitudes to what is safe.

I agree with millifiori and would add that if something happened to you whilst you were out, who would know that your child was home alone. This was always my greatest motivation for not leaving them in the house on their own.

I think there are a lot more risks in the home. Wanting to get something so balancing on a chair.. falling off and banging head... the deciding they are hungry and make themselves toast (even though told no to) and then do some thing insane like butter it first... or be nice and make you a cup.of tea to surprise you when you got home and scald themselves .

Try and reach something on a shelf and pull the whole shelf down off the wall with all its contents on top of you

These are all things my brothers tried to do while my mum was out

What's the point in comparing?

There are different risks as they are different situations. I personally would never let a child below 7 play out in the street on their own. But regardless, leaving a child unattended in the house while you go out somewhere away from the house/garden/street is obviously different.

No one is vilified for vague circumstances, and everyone has different opinion's on what is acceptable and what isn't. I for one as previously said would never let my kids play outside unsupervised at year one or below (this is based on nieces and nephews as my oldest is 18 months and my youngest is in my tummy!) and would never leave a kid below 9 alone in the house - even then it would only be a short trup with the knowledge that my DC is capable of phoning me.

Would I judge someone who thinks tiny kids can be left unsupervised? Probably. Is it my business? Probably not. Do I care if anyone thinks I'm too cautious? As if!