Why is it OK to leave your child alone OUTSIDE the house, but not INSIDE?

[MythicalChicken]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. It seems to be acceptable to let children - even quite small ones - play outside alone, in the front garden, or on the street or even to go to the park.

However, if you dare to leave your child alone at home, you are vilified.

Why is that?

However, there have been way, way more children abducted whilst unsupervised

Well duh. Also your car is more likely to be stolen when you aren't driving it.

The McCann's made an appalling lack of judgment, which other parents have also made. Unlike most others, they have paid a hefty price. It's never acceptable to leave young children alone. Although referring back to one persons post in Germany, it seems people have a very different mindset over there but I can't imagine this would extend to prolonged night time drinking with the door unlocked.

Where i live we are in the minority as we dont let our children play out unsupervised.
As i see it all the cases of children being taken and murdered in the last 10 or so years were outside alone. Yes there are not huge amounts of cases but they are desperately sad and i refuse to take the risk.

Leave the McCanns alone FFS. They have paid for what they did. In spades.

It's still like I said, no one I vilified for vague circumstances

If you are talking about th McCanns, then everyone is fully aware of the circumstances surrounding the abduction. Regardless of how sympathetic I am to their tragic loss, it is not fair to say that people are vilifying them. They left small children unattended with the door unlocked. It was very poor judgement by many peoples standards. If you leave you prefer school aged children outside unsupervised where you are not even in the house, that I also poor judgement by most people's, standard.

I didn't realise this thread was in relation to one specific event.

..sorry about all the awful auto corrects. Obvs I meant pre school children and the "I"' should say "is"

I have thought this too, OP. At 7, they are considered old enough to walk home from school without an adult, not that we do this. DD is nine and at the age where I would start to feel comfortable leaving her at home for half an hour if I have to. We live in a sleepy village where not a lot happens. She can walk to the postbox alone, but I wouldn't like her walking longer distances or crossing big roads on her own.

I agree with you op. It seems to be acceptable for kids to be allowed to play out (even out of sight) at a younger age than it is to leave them at home for 10 minutes. I don't understand it either.

I also don't think the main risk outside is abduction. I'd say it's traffic.

Agree, pootroll. My worry would traffic rather than abduction.

Where we live traffic is not a problem...sleepy village etc.
So for all parents the risks are deemed to he different according to our environment, circumstances, history and personality.
I accept that at some point i should let my 11 yr old go out alone, but for now while i am accepted to go the park with them i will. We are not in walking distance of anything else (no shop etc that kids like to go to alone)...sleep village = the park, school or to the postbox.
The risks are very low, but sadly that is also what they thought in mid-wales a few years ago.

I also think they are more likely to get hurt at a park / playground than at home. Broken glass, falling off climbing frame / slide / swings, being hit by swing, kids chasing each other and falling over. Whereas at home they tend to be sitting still or moving around slowly.

I also think they are more likely to get hurt at a park / playground than at home

You can think that but you'd be wrong.

Are you sure about that, user? What are all these injuries that children over 7 ( a reasonable minimum age to go to the park alone) sustain in the home? When you consider how much time most children spend at home compared with at the park, you would expect at least 10 times as many injuries to happen at home i.e. We're looking at injuries per hour rather than injuries overall.

The only broken bone in this family happened whilst playing at the park (while supervised by an adult). Dread to think how it would have been if I hadn't been there.

Yes, very sure.

I mean, statistically. If you look at all of the high-profile child abduction cases from the last few decades, how many of them were taken from their own home? Very few.

Yes, but statistically, the chance of abduction is very low, from anyway. The chance of accident / injury is high. And much more dangerous if a child is home alone.

Well I wouldn't leave my two home alone but they both play out the front. One is 10, other is 6.

However I would leave the 10 year old but he doesn't want me to. I mean only for 10 minutes and only if someone else knew I was leaving him alone but he doesn't want me to.

We live in a culdesac with the houses all arranged facing round a big bit of grass. The kids all play there. Dd is 6 and isn't allowed out alone but she does play out with her friends so long as i am able to be at the front of the house most of the time and have her in earshot. It's really good for kids to have this freedom imo. They get to risk assess and make judgement calls. They get to sort out friendship issues and make new friends. I think the benefits far outweigh the minuscule risks of abduction. The traffic worries me more but our street is quiet and the kids are all usually very sensible on the road. Ds walks to school and has done for the last year - it's about a mile away. He crosses main roads at traffic lights and smaller roads very carefully. They do need be opportunity to learn and build confidence.

The risk of stranger abduction is so low that it shouldn't really be the driving risk factor you are taking into consideration.
I don't agree with the whole premise of your thread. The comparison with the Mccans is absurd, you should never leave a 3 year old unsupervised for more than a few minutes, wherever they are.

But how do you know that, user? It's a bit like saying " more people in the world die in their beds than in motorbike accidents, so therefore going to bed is more dangerous than riding a motorbike". It is comparing the total number of injuries overall sustained by something everyone does for several hours every day with something a only a few do less frequently. All children will spend some time at home every day so therefore the total number of injuries in the home are going to be higher than those at the park. But it doesn't mean an hour in the home is more dangerous than an hour at the park. In fact the opposite.

I also think there may be a gender difference in injury rate at the park as boys tend to engage in rough play and contact sports more than girls when they're out with their friends.

No one here is talking about being right to leave three year olds alone either in or out. That would be irresponsible either way. It's more about older children. If they're at home you have some ground rules. No answering the door, wait for the answerphone and only pick up if it's me, no using the toaster or cooker until I'm back, if theres fire get out asap and don't stop to collect anything, how to use the phone. As long as they're happy with it and I would never do it otherwise, I think it gives them a sense of responsibility. But it has seemed strange to me in the past when I've mentioned to someone that I've left my 12 year old at home alone for a couple of hours and they've seemed surprised.

Swallows and Amazons

Eh?

Surely you wouldnt allow a 3yo to stay home alone or go to the park alone?

Id allow my 10yo to go to the park alone and stay in the house alone.

Where is a child being allowed to do one but not the other?

Also, child playing in garden/parent in the house or vice versa is totally different to one of them in the house and the other 1/2 a mile away at the shop/park etc.

The risk of them being abducted is far far lower than the risk of them having an accident regardless of where they are. If they are home alone and have an accident they may not be able to get hold of you and you will not know. If they are outside playing in the front (or back) they or a friend can instantly come and tell you about the accident and most parents who let their kids play outside will be checking them regularly and/or watching from a window. Going to the park is clearly different but I don't know many people who would allow them to go to the park until they were 9/10 upwards even if the was just down the road. I think it depends what age you actually mean. Obviously toddlers playing out on the road is wrong but it's not clear what age you are judging you have to give them age appropriate freedom and that will always include some risk.