Why is it OK to leave your child alone OUTSIDE the house, but not INSIDE?

[MythicalChicken]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. It seems to be acceptable to let children - even quite small ones - play outside alone, in the front garden, or on the street or even to go to the park.

However, if you dare to leave your child alone at home, you are vilified.

Why is that?

The risk of abduction is tiny.
The risk of your child climbing on the kitchen cabinets, reaching for the biscuit tin, and falling backwards onto the hard tiled kitchen floor, is much more likely. That's why we don't leave kids at home.

I'd have to agree with the German view though: if the child is safely tucked up in a cot (from which they can't escape), then they're quite safe. I'd still never leave the house without them though.

But being alone isn't just about child abduction, it is about general safety and accidents and neglect.
At home a child not of a suitable age could

• try to cook a meal and get burnt
• play with matches
• let in a burglar
• climb on a chair to get something and fall
• cut themselves whilst trying to prepare a sandwich
• be scared when it is dark outside

Well children aren't usually out alone. They're usually with friends, within shouting distance and other parents are often keeping an eye as well. The difference for me is, if DS fell and bumped his head for example whilst out playing someone would alert me, if he fell down the the stairs whilst home alone no-one would know.

NoDramasPlease
Yes. It's like what piano said, they could climbed up to get a biscuit when you're out and fall.
Whereas an older child firstly would probably have enough sense if they were to want a biscuit we they'd get a chair and are much less likely to fall.

It is so dependent on child, temperament, your environment.

I left DD1 aged 10 home alone for an hour when I had my first day in a new job and when I got back she had tidied and cleaned the entire ground floor it had never looked so good and done a poster saying welcome home mum hope your first day was good

We have a park which is visable from the top floor bedroom window. Under no circumstances would I allow by dc to go without an adult until they are around 10.

I do however let them play in the garden unsupervised! As it's a secure 6ft wall and fence with a padlocked gate. I have also left them for 5 mins while I have popped rubbish to the garage or to get the lawn mower.

We live in a small cul de sac with a few other kids. My 6 yr old daughter plays out the front with the others who are a bit older. Between us, there is generally an adult keeping an eye on them or sometimes we all sit out with each other and catch up however, they do sometimes play on their own but we can see & hear them & they have boundaries. I like that she can have the independence but am still vigilant. I want her to have these memories of her childhood. It's a different matter if my younger one goes out. She is never out on her own.

However, there have been loads of kids abducted from the front garden, the street or even further away from home

Loads? I don't think so.

Kids need fresh air and to play. You're close by if they need you. If you leave them alone in the house, where are you? Not within shouting distance, are you?
Apples and oranges.

Children are safer outside playing in a garden or close by, than inside in a house alone.
Stranger abduction is very very rare. The vast majority of abductions are by family, usually estranged parents.

And the average age of children being snatched by a stranger, are 12 year old girls.

Mine weren't left alone outside until an age where they could be left alone inside too. Before then, one of us would be watching them.

I do get what you mean though, plenty send their children out to play from tiny ages with no adult supervision so that they can have some peace and quiet.

More children are killed and injured in accidents in the home, than are abducted from outside the home. It's just that news coverage focuses on one more than the other.

One big difference between being left at home and left to play outside is that at home they are alone, but outside there will be other children and probably other adults who would help in an emergency.

FWIW though I was happier leaving my DC at home before I was happy to let them play further than outside the house.

The difference is nothing about abduction, indeed abduction in young children is extremely low risk. It's about the kids (or the neighbour kids) knowing where the adult is when they need assistance.

But yes, in general, people are weird with their standards and ages.

I wasn't allowed outside unsupervised until I was 16. Millie Dowler was in the same year as me and she went to a school that was my second choice. Some of my primary school friends knew her. When I was allowed home by myself, I had to have the house fully locked up. I think my parents were over cautious.

I would worry about letting my child play outside without supervision. The statistics and chance of something happening may be low, but I wouldn't want to take any risks.

Because if they're playing out they're with a group of friends. Kids can be daft but they do actually look out for each other, as we did when I was a kid.

We moved house recently and have noticed that in our new area the kids who live on this safe, quiet development very rarely play outside, even in their own gardens. At our previous home, pretty much all the kids in the street played out together from dawn till dusk in the lane behind the house, this in spite of being 200m from a massive playing field.
I think there's something about normalising behaviours in these different places going on.

When I was hunting for a job that would work around school, childcare etc, the jobcentre staff insisted it was fine for me to leave son at home alone for a part-time job ( bearing in mind I am rural and nearest potential place of work is 8 miles away, and at the time I had no transport except an hourly-ish bus non-service!)

When I told them no way was I leaving him alone, they sanctioned me for three months for refusing to consider all jobs!?!

Son was 7 at that time... go figure

It's odd how many on mn cite children being abducted as their main objection to children being outside.
Child abduction is excessively rare. I am not alarmed by it despite having been approached by a stranger when 11 to get in their van. I went with my instincts and ran.
As a woman I'll also walk through streets (even city ones) keeping my wits about me. It's far better to teach children to be aware and gradually increase their freedoms than stifle them with helicopter parenting.
There are copious studies on this and the ever increasing infantilisation of a our population.
When some of these children are uni and work aged I see them useless. Unable to anslyse situations for themselves and completely lacking in motivation.

IT is harmful for children not to be able to explore and make mistakes because parents are over anxious. We learn from thinking about situations and reacting accordingly. Children can walk to school, learn to cross roads, play with friends outside and do not need constant supervision. Abductions are very rare and should not stop children playing outside. Mine both went to South Africa without a parent at 13, to a boarding school for a term, and did not need me to oversee their daily lives. Knowing your child is capable is fantastic! I recommend it.

Around here the issue is less about abductions - and there has been a couple of police warnings! but more about accidents, bullying. Not that long ago a young girl has been sexually assaulted in the middle of the day whilst walking on a slightly less busy road.

There's fine line between overly anxious parents and responsible ones who are aware of what is happening locally.

What's the point in comparing?

It is in relation to a case in the news at the moment. People are horrible about this parents with some saying they should be charged with neglect.

However, there have been way, way more children abducted whilst unsupervised.

Ah you're talking about Madeline McCann. Well her and her siblings were aged 1 and 3, I don't think anyone on here or in rl would be letting children that age play out alone somehow.

OP
If you're drawing comparisons to the McCann case then I'll just be frank.

I will judge ANYONE who leaves babies and toddlers alone outside or inside, UK or abroad. Get a babysitter or take the kids with you or sacrifice you adult time. I don't care if it's tapas, shopping or the pub. If you don't have childcare then you don't do that and leave your young kids.