Teacher's Behaviour

[eatmysocks23]

I really want to know if IABU before I write a letter of complaint.

My DD9 is at what you would call quite a hothouse school. High flyer top performer in most areas and is petrified of getting in trouble or losing those weekly point things, so in her entire school life has never been in trouble, or lost any personal belongings, missed homework..nothing.

Today after changing into PE, she realised that her uniform was not in her bag, and went to the PE office to try and look for them.

On explaining the situation, said teacher jumped down her throat and said to "get out of the office and that she did not care" and it was up to DD to have put her uniform into her bag and that no one was going to steal her uniform. The PE teachers at this school have form for lacking nature and pastoral care and have had many complaints over the years. There were also other PE teachers present. A simple, now is not the time to look for it, or wait till after school, I would imagine would have been a good reply from the teacher?

I wouldn't speak to DD this way and I wouldn't expect a teacher to. Now I know that children can be over sensitive too, but this really knocked her confidence and then her performance on the field.

We've had the chat about not taking other people's bad behaviour too seriously or personally, but from a teacher --someone they should respect and look up to, I'm not quite sure. DD is still upset over this....something that happened 8 hours ago!

So...AIBU, and how should I now approach this?

Thanks quad and incy

If this had happened to my child, I would be sending an email and expecting a phone call from said teacher or I would go in and to find out what has gone on. As for one thing your daughter has lost the whole of her uniform, so someone must know where it is or it needs to be investigated as to where it has gone too.

As for the teacher, we all know there's always that one teacher that is just unaproahable and bites everyone's head off, but this day and age there is no need for it at all and I would go in to find out why your daughter was spoken to that way.
You don't need to go in all guns blazing just politely find out what's gone on and what words were said. And just make them aware that your daughter tells you everything so this might make them think twice about them treating your daughter that way.

Similar thing happened to my son so I went in. It never happened again.

Don't listen to the people who say something of the lines your child should just deal with it etc no child has to just deal with anything that upsets them. I don't agree with just saying man up, she will get more of this as she get older. Your daughter is only 9 and if it hadn't of affected her she wouldn't of told you.
Whether or not your daughter didn't knock or the teacher at the time was busy. Your daughter is 9 not 16. A simple "please wait outside, I will be with you in a second " wouldn't that be enough .

So she didn't care your daughter has lost her uniform. Send her to school in normal clothes till they do something about it, they will soon be on at you then.

Hope you get it sorted x

A simple "please wait outside, I will be with you in a second " wouldn't that be enough .

Perhaps that would have worked with the OP's DD and the reply of the teacher was totally unnecessary. I have given similarly polite instructions to 11 year olds at my school and received responses like, "What?" "Why?" "But I need to get my pencil case." "Well, that's not very polite is it!?" Etc. Some kids are cheeky and "please" doesn't work. Or their manner of entering a room is disruptive and "please" isn't warranted (more like a telling off for barging into the room, shouting at the top of their voice).

Trifleorbust
Same. For every child who knocks on our staff room and waits for a teacher to go to the door there's another who knocks and walks in or just opens the door and says "is Mr Brown in here". When it's the latter they get a blunt "close the door and try again".

For every child who respects when we say "come and speak to me later about this as I'm busy" there's another who starts with "but..." no. I've said speak to me later. I do not drop everything on command.