To think that some people live in too big houses?

[URSick]

Lots of people live in (in my opinion) already big houses yet they want to move into even bigger ones.
I see so many families where all the children have their own bedrooms, bathrooms, big bedroom for the parents, guest room, study, living room, and yet they never seem to be satisfied and want to move into a bigger house. They all want playroom for the children. What's the point, when they could easily play in their bedrooms or the living room? There are houses where everybody has their own level, plus bathrooms on the landings, more toilets than family members, and yet they want Buckingham palace. It's good to have enough space and not be in each other's pockets but am I the only one who thinks these people are greedy and unreasonable? You don't need to live in a mansion to be a happy family.
Not to mention those houses where entire rooms are never used, lots of space is taken up by massive stairs and there are parts of the house that are just walkways.
What's your take on it?

Before we were married, DH and I rented a very pretty, but tiny 2 bedroom cottage. We both loved it. Once our DDs have left home we'll probably downsize to something very similar (or a Dutch barge, of course).

It's perfectly possible to be perfectly happy in a tiny house and a huge house.

I personally wouldn't like a very large house unless I could afford staff. I just see it as more things to clean and sort out! But if others can afford it and want it, I don't see the problem.

My lovely neighbour who is in her 80's lives alone in a 5 bed house. Next time I see her I will let her know she needs to go live in a 1 bed flat or just hurry up and die so all the poor people can live in it.

I find it so much easier to maintain a bigger house than a small one. It's always tidy, whilst if something is not put away properly in a small space it immediately look messy, it's much easier and quicker to clean, because you don't have to move everything around. Muddy sport equipment and shoes are out of sight in garage and utility. If friends stay over, they just use the spare room, I don't have to shuffle anyone around.

It's a lot cheaper to furnish as well, as I don't need to have everything custom made to made use of the very last inch of space.

I am not trying to sell big houses to people, I do find it so much easier to live in one - and mine is nowhere big enough. It's not about social status, just about what works best for you.

As I said earlier, my mum downsized from a three bed bungalow to a tiny two bed (one and a half bed, really) retirement bungalow, and it was a huge job for her to cull her belongings enough that she just about fits in her new place - and even with all that she's got rid of, her new place is still hopelessly cluttered, which is not helping her to feel at home.

Something I forgot to mention was the emotional issue for her. She had lived in the old bungalow since 1972 - she and dad moved there when I was 8 - and has so many memories there. She and dad spent years making a wonderful garden, that was her pride and joy, and she and dad lived there together until he died in 2000. He actually died at that house (it was very sudden) so that added to the memories. Add to that the fact that all her friends were around that area, and you can see why she loved that place so much.

At the time, dsis and I thought the move was the best thing for her - she was moving close to my sister, so would have family close - something she hadn't had before - and the new place would be more manageable for her, as well as having the advantages of an emergency buzzer if she needed help (the new bungalow is in the grounds of a care home, and the staff will answer the buzzer). But now I am not so sure.

By the time she actually moved, she hated the idea. She was so unhappy at the thought of leaving her home and her garden, and the place where all her memories of dad were. But she went ahead with the move, and even now, nearly 2 years on, she is not happy in the new place. She hasn't made any new friends, even though the other residents of the bungalows are friendly people, and has made no effort to join in with things in the town - we have suggested a mobility scooter, so she could go to the library for their knitting group, and I have found the local WI, who would happily give her lifts to and from meetings ("I don't want to go out at night" was her response). Basically, she sees it as a house, not a home - and I think moving there has made her depressed.

Please don't underestimate the effect that moving has on people, especially an older person who has a support network, friends and memories tied up in their current home. I now deeply regret encouraging mum to move. It would have been far, far better to do equity release on the old house, and use that money to support her living there - it was very remote, with almost no public transport, and the house and garden were getting too much for her - but all of those problems were solvable, with some cash - and mum would still be in her home, and happy.

Now she is depressed and probably more lonely than she was in her remote village.

it must also be a very depressing thought to have to move because you are old. It's one thing if you move to a sunny coastal town, but to go to a practical place, because.. that's it, it's the end of the road. It's awful.

It's very difficult for the family, you can only do what you think is best, you want your loved ones to be safe.
I hope your mum gets into a hobby genius and start creating friendships that way. There's no easy solution. Blaming people for living in a decent size house is however ridiculous.

I think my neighbours probably share the OPs view. They have 4 kids in a 2 bed house, I have 2 in a 5 bed. But I have worked ft to afford this house, lived through a decade of building works (we built an extension almost doubling the original size of the house), and gone without annual holidays, days out etc. I've chosen to put my money in property, that's my choice. If my neighbours worked ft, had fewer kids, spent less on cars etc then they would be able to afford a bigger home and be less crowded. But it's all personal choice ateotd.

I just don't get why it's such a bad thing to want to live in a nice home though!

Totally agree SDG people who are ndn from the home I grew up in are relocating to a smaller flat from a large family home due to ill health and to be nearer family. It is very distressing for the whole family as there are so many memories. Really felt for them.

We have 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, double garage, study, playroom. Garden is small but we live next to fields with horses. We use all our space and love it! Have recently replaced 2 of the 4 bathrooms. In a large-ish house there's always something to do but we enjoy a project.

My aunt and uncle ndn moved from her 3 bed house into sheltered accommodation and basically died of a broken heart within weeks. She hated it missed all her nieghbours and the home she had lived all her married life in.

It's not as easy as just telling someone they should do it so they have less to manage ( or so someone else can have their house)

This is like the thread where someone thought it was unreasonable for someone else to have day out and spend money in build a bear.
Both posts are odd for caring.

Houses have storeys - not "stories" if you are referring to levels.

Our one is listed too and is over 350 years old. When you love in such a house you have a duty of care to it.

...LIVE in...

I hvae a fairly large detached house. At peak before my daughters left home there were 7 of us living here (and I work from here and their father did), in fact often there were 9 of us here during the day, sometimes 12. The youngest children have always shared a bed room. Now 4 of us live here and it no way feels too big. I work in one downstairs room. Another is the TV room. Another has a big table and is used by the teenagers to study in, homework (and family meals when we have them) and the 4th has a grand piano and screen - and that one at present is least used but often is used depending on hobbies, if the children have a music exam coming up, if the 3 boys are into playing their computer game on the big screen etc. So that is 4 separate downstairs living rooms - no through rooms as we might have a meeting in one, someone learnig the piano in another etc etc.

Upstairs there are 5 bed rooms and one is empty as my daughters have left home now so that's a spare room - so that room I suppose is surprlus but then both girls moved back home for 2 years after university for law school and one moved back when letting her flat for a bit so I don't really feel it is too big.

Also when everyone leaves permanently after 40 years of sharing my space which I paid for I think I'm entitled to a few years on my own with some space as I have worked pretty hard doing things most people aren't prepared to do (like full time work whilst having small babies), working through the night, second weekend job etc. I feel I earned this place, blood sweat and tears and just because some other people didn't make my choices I don't see why I should hand the house over to them or let the rooms out to the poor and needy. I pay absolutely masses of tax already never mind £3200 a year council tax!

I think the real issue is that many single pensioners are rattling around in huge family homes with big gardens they can't keep up with. Then you have lots of families crampt in tiny flats.

Yes they bought these houses, but back then the 6 bed houses were at the same affordability as the tiny studio flats are these days.

I think the real issue is that many single pensioners are rattling around in huge family homes with big gardens they can't keep up with. Then you have lots of families crampt in tiny flats

That's not really the issue though. If these pensioners downsized, the families cramped into flats still wouldn't be able to afford to buy this now empty huge family home, would they?

My post wasn't saying what will solve the problem, just saying the problem is largely due to huge house price inflation.

I am looking forward to downsizing if my DCs ever move on. Many older people do get trapped in large houses they cant maintain or navigate because of mobility issues and then end up living in one downstairs room with difficulty getting to the bathroom. It is often better if older people can move before it becomes a crisis, into somewhere suitable that still gives space, light and not clutter. It is also very hard for those moving to care homes - an old lady I knew refered to ageing as 'ever smaller boxes'. But care homes though very feared can, for some people, be the absolutely right move when they need more care and support.

I am very glad my parents moved at the right time - to a large flat in a building with additional communal space and activities - its been a great help knowing they could join in social activities and get meals if they wish to, have housekeeping and cleaning and that they can manage in their flat. They have a spare room but also you can rent a guest suite if needed. Sure there's a service charge but that ensures there's always help on hand.

The one thing I wold advise older people not to do is move away to the seaside or abroad at retirement. You build up a convoy of social connections in your life that connects you to a community so why then sever that and move somewhere completely different? It just enhances the risks of loneliness and social isolation, if one dies or becomes a carer for the other.

Anyway, we all just to live as we wish - large or small house. Its those who have no choice or are at the hands of unscrupulous landlords we should worry about.

It can be about what you're used to too. I grew up in the states where houses are cheap and huge with a bathroom for every person, ridiculously high ceilings, walk in wardrobes in every room, giant utility rooms, two car garages and air conditioning as standard, all for drastically less than our small, three bed, mid terrace house here in the UK. I know it's unreasonable of me but I always think UK houses are far too small and even ones way out my budget I feel disappointed by because they're not as spacious as houses in the US that I'm used to.

Yes they bought these houses, but back then the 6 bed houses were at the same affordability as the tiny studio flats are these days

Back then the cost of living and average wages were also much lower. It's all relative.

I agree, people live in too big house when they are bigger than mine.

I am just bitterly jealous

placemarking How did I miss this thread?

Agree there are lots of older people near us in big family houses with large gardens that will get too difficult to manage, including my parents.
Their choice obviously.
Our plan is to downsize late 60's and use the profit to part fund retirement and give away the rest to DC and any GC.
This house is a large 5 bed family house- far too big for a couple.
I love it but when it gets to big we will find another smaller one- easy to maintain and clean with just a patio garden.