....about the giant strawberry?!

[KentMum2008]

Total first world problem I know, and I'm defo more irritated by this than I should be, but...
I got some amazing strawbs from the market, seriously huge and really sweet. I put one in DS lunch box and it filled a whole compartment (one of those sistema lunch cube thingys)
DS comes out of school and says one of the lunchtime supervisors said to him 'what a mean mummy, only giving you one strawberry. You'll have to ask her for more tomorrow' I know the woman in question she's one of the mum's in DDs class so I jokingly said to her 'I hear you think I'm a bit of a meanie' in case DS was making it up.
I shit you not, she said to me 'well that's terribly mean only giving him one strawberry, that's not enough to fill a growing boy' She was deadly serious too.
For reference, the strawb in question is below. Pretty large, and accompanied by a sandwich, a chunk of cucumber, a babybel and a yoghurt. She would have been at his table from the beginning of lunch so she'll have seen what was in there to begin with. They do a cursory sweep for contraband at the beginning of lunch every day.
Was I BU to say to her 'you're not the lunchbox police Linda, save your concern for the kids with a sausage roll and a can of Coke'?
Because her face was , you'd think I'd just slapped her....

Wow! That is all.

Fucking Linda

fucking linda

I think you are going to have to source giant fruit to mess with Linda.

Send in a single plum and tell your DS it's a grape.

I agree in that I'd rather have a few hundred smaller strawberries for myself, my DC's think giant anything is fun. Apart from plums. Apparently teeny tiny plums are the best.
Wonder if I sent DS in with 3 tiny plums, Linda would say it's too much
I also wonder the fact I want to make lunchbox choices based on what would piss Linda off is genuinely mean?

I am absolutely helpless withgiggles reading this thread. You are all wonderful, and Linda is on a losing wicket.

cdtaylornats she definitely saw it. She checks all lunchbags when they first sit down, and swipes any contraband probably for herself

This is for FizzyGreenWater

It took me hours

Can you source any of those teeny alpine strawberries?

Beryl I actually have a wild strawberry plant in my front garden, it will eventually produce some minuscule fruit. Maybe I'll send ALL of them in one day.

I've got a fuckload of those minuscule alpine ones in my garden

They take ages to pick but are bloody delicious

Hmm you could always make your DC day and send him in with loads of small strawberry shaped sweets? Let Linda deal with it afterwards

Hmmm what about a really red plum with a cherry stalk stuck to it? Worlds biggest cherry?

They would sell well in Waitrose....

StillHungryy Linda would actually spontaneously combust if I did that.

Maybe I should...

PelvicFloorClenchReminder

Tomorrow cover his whole lunch with a note saying, "Go away Linda, this delicious lunch is not for your eyes, take your cursory sweep elsewhere."

Tomorrow. One more giant strawberry. A strawberry fruit shoot and some of those strawberry fruit winderz things.

Should cover it

Gotta say I feel Linda is the perfect name

4 punnets for £3, but what you failed to mention is that you paid £3 for about 8 strawberries Linda would say you were robbed

I hate to be a judgemental linda. But the size of those strawberries concerns me. What weird growth sorcery are they spraying them with to get them that big? Like a strawberry version of James and the giant peach.

Whenever I hear her name, it makes me think of that YouTube video of that little kid saying 'Linda honey, listen linda' 😂
Anyone else see that or am I remembering it wrong?

Haha TellmeItsNotTrue it's actually not true! If you scroll back you can see how many are crammed in one punnet. DS is a crafty beast and stands there at the stall putting a few extra in each punnet before he puts them in the basket. And John the Fruit just watches and laughs. He always tells DS to try one before we buy any, and DS always says 'hmm that ones not too sweet' so John the Fruit gives him another 2 or 3, knowing full well DS is having him on.

No I seen it brilliant video! 'No Linda honey, just listen" 😂

Maybe I'll teach DS to say that next time she has a dig at his lunch. Fucking Linda the lunch police.

Send him in tomorrow with a handful of Haribo strawberries