About dh's 'lie'

[MissEliza]

I'll try not to give too long a background story. Dh and I have been together for almost 25 years. He isn't British and I don't live close to my family. He travels a LOT for work . Both sets of parents come to visit a couple of times a year and his tend to stay for quite a while. Dh usually goes back home once a year in addition to the times we go as a family (at least once a year). On top of all this, he and his friends get together for a boys weekend every 3 to 4 months. They are religious about this and their WhatsApp group is actually called 'Boyz Weekend'.
After several years of this lifestyle, I'm getting tired of it. I feel we don't get much normal family time or couple time. For example, there was a three week period in March when we spent three days together. Last month, he went back to his home country for a week and squeezed in a fishing trip with his mates for a couple of days. When he came back from this trip, he informed me he'd have to go to a certain city in Europe for a couple of days for meetings. I was a bit surprised because I'm used to his pattern of travel and he's never had to go to this city for work before. However he and and his friends like going there for boys' weekends. When he returned he seemed in a very good mood but hungover. He said there'd been a big night out for work. I

justmature it's not just the jaunts away with the boys though is it? He works away from home a lot, and his parents visit often. So OP is often alone with the children while he's off either working or with his pals, and when he's there so are his parents!

I'd be unhappy too OP. But I guess the crux of the matter is that if something has to give, it's his social life with the boys, and he has shown that even if he agrees with you that he'll just lie to get what he wants.

Is there anyway he can cut back on the work travel? If he's relatively senior surely he can delegate stuff and say he has to have at least one full week a month at home?

I mean, lucky for him all the compromise is on your side eh?

Three weekends a year and a week away might be a huge proportion (or a small one!) of the time he has available away from work commitments.

You can't say "it's nothing" as if that's the end of it. It depends.

(Sorry, that was to the people saying it wasn't enough time to be upset about.)

I go away with my friends three or four weekends a year. It's my lifeline! Keeps me sane. DH does the same. We both have hectic lives with lots of commitments.

he clearly didn't want to hurt his parents feelings or felt he couldn't tell them for some reason.

You don't think it would hurt his parents feelings much much more if they discovered the lie?

The posters that are saying his weekends away with his friends are fine... Did you see the part where OP says her husband is away for work a lot? This would be fine, I think, if OP's DH had a "normal" job but it seems that OP is alone with the children most of the time. You'd think he'd want to spend a bit more time with his family. I think that's when spouses start to feel hurt, when the other one clearly doesn't.