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Original poster

To block my DH on twitter?

95 replies

MooseHunter · 02/05/2017 19:49

I recently started using twitter for work- related matters but I know DH has been on it for years, is a really prolific tweeter and has loads of followers. He's on it a lot. I recently had a look at his account and although he talks to both men and women there, his obvious flirting with women has really turned my stomach. He's a flirt in real life so I really don't think there is anything in this, but it isn't nice to see how he talks to some women and there is one woman in particular that although he doesn't talk to the most, appears to know quite a lot of stuff about his life that they haven't discussed in tweets (yes I looked) so I am a bit Hmm about her. I don't follow him and am not sure if he even knows I am on twitter so has no idea I have seen his tweets

I am of course now constantly checking his account to see what he is saying and who he is talking to and quite frankly it is driving me mad. I really wish I had never looked, I hate how this has made me feel. Should I block him so I don't have to see his tweets (and couldn't if I tried) and just say nothing to him? I do feel a bit like I am spying, tbh

(Usual name changed to protect the innocent etc)

OP posts:
UppityHumpty · 02/05/2017 19:51

Do you think he's cheating on you?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 02/05/2017 19:52

Ask him if he realises what a flirt he looks on Twitter?!
He is in a relationship so I feel you are entitled to bring it to his attention if he is tweeting like a single man.

Original poster
MooseHunter · 02/05/2017 19:54

No, I don't think he is cheating. And this may sound like a weird thing to say but I'd like to think if he was cheating, he's cleverer than to do it via a a public forum that anyone can see

OP posts:
Whatsername17 · 02/05/2017 20:12

You need to talk to him, not bury your head in the sand.

UppityHumpty · 02/05/2017 20:14

If he thinks you're not on Twitter he might think he's being clever. Suggest you lay it all out in the open and make him explain himself.

Original poster
MooseHunter · 02/05/2017 20:34

I've mentioned to him in passing about being on Twitter, I'm sure. Neither of us follow each other.

I do want to say something but I think it will end up coming out like I am spying on him and making a big deal of what he says to women when he also chats to men there

OP posts:
ScarlettFreestone · 02/05/2017 20:37

Just have an actual conversation about his inappropriate interactions and tell him how it makes you feel.

If you've just started using Twitter it's natural to look up your friend's and family- it's hardly spying.

sparkleandsunshine · 02/05/2017 20:38

I wouldn't be happy about it and would make sure my bloke knew about it! Tell him it's not appropriate!

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/05/2017 20:41

It will come out like that, or he will twist things to make you look paranoid? Does he minimise your feelings about him flirting IRL as well?

Botanicbaby · 02/05/2017 20:41

If you're not following him, you don't need to block him to stop seeing his tweets. Just stop looking at them!

If his flirting bothers you then speak to him about it. If he knows you're on Twitter for work you could just say you looked at his tweets as you were thinking of following him but decided against it after the flirting etc

Original poster
MooseHunter · 02/05/2017 20:44

I've never been bothered by it in real life. It's just the way he is and always has been and it isn't creepy flirting, if you know what I mean, more like putting people at ease and making them feel relaxed.

OP posts:
Hassled · 02/05/2017 20:48

You can block him and not have to see the seedy flirting, but you can't unknow what you know. It won't make it all go away. You really need to talk to him - explain how it looks, how it makes you feel.

Original poster
MooseHunter · 02/05/2017 21:07

Was considering guessing password and signing into twitter as him and seeing if he had any direct messages from women. Bad idea, right?

OP posts:
Tinkerbec · 02/05/2017 21:14

What sort of things is he saying op? Just talking or is it sexual? Is it different to what he says to men so he can't argue that?

You should speak to him say you looked him up when bored and tell him it isn't appropriate and to sort it out.

Original poster
MooseHunter · 02/05/2017 21:24

Mostly it's just talking. A lot of it. Same sort of thing to both men and women. He is a little more formal with blokes though. On a couple of occasions in the last week, he has told women they are "hot to trot" and "very attractive". I don't like it AT ALL but I don't think there is much to worry about real-life wise

My main concern is one woman who clearly knows a lot about DH and he knows a lot about her. They are sometimes rude to each other in the way that only people who are sleeping with each other can be, iyswim. He talks to other people more than he talks to her but for two people who don't appear to have any real-life connection, they seem to know an awful lot about each other. I have a horrible feeling, from the tone of the tweets and some of the comments, that they have met, but I can't work out the connection (not work, no mutual friends).

Am probably reading into al this far too much, aren't I?

OP posts:
dingodon · 02/05/2017 21:30

No you are not. That would really piss me off. Are you able to find out more about this particular woman? Suggest you trust your gut and act accordingly.

ChickenBhuna · 02/05/2017 21:36

What he's doing is very tacky OP. I wouldn't be afraid to tell him that.

And also you're not snooping , he put these words on social media for all to see.

LellyMcKelly · 02/05/2017 21:37

Follow him, and get him to follow you. Chat to him publicly.

Piratesandpants · 02/05/2017 21:41

If you block him, aren't you just going into denial? How will that help?

Desperateforsleepzzzz · 02/05/2017 21:46

I would be livid don't block him ask him what the hell hes playing at

Original poster
MooseHunter · 02/05/2017 21:47

He's been on twitter since it started, pretty much. I've never had any reason to suspect he was up to no good until a few weeks ago when I started looking at his tweets. Nothing has changed other than I now read what he writes. Everything is the same at home, between us.

I already know a lot about the woman I am concerned about, just from reading her tweets. What should I be looking for?

OP posts:
Original poster
MooseHunter · 02/05/2017 21:48

He does mention that he is married with a family reasonably often on Twitter and has referred to me directly on occasion. He isn't trying to hide me or the kids, which is good, right?

OP posts:
happypoobum · 02/05/2017 21:50

"hot to trot?" Really?

I would go fucking mental.

Is he 12?

HilariousGuitar · 02/05/2017 22:08

It could be good, or it could be more of the hiding in plain sight thing. My ex who was a serial "flirter" always used to tell his victims that he was married and had children. He'd keep the public flirting just on the right side of decent, so if questioned he could say he was just being friendly, had never pretended to be anything he wasn't etc. In private it would be a different story but he thought nobody would ever look deeper because he was making himself look so innocent, by NOT hiding much of the interaction, iyswim. I was young and naive and used to even talk to some of these women with him (he used MSN messenger). They did a bloody good job of playing innocent but must have been laughing at me behind my back.

Of course I can't say that this is the case with your husband, I hope it isn't. Just don't be too quick to dismiss it because he mentions you.

PickAChew · 02/05/2017 22:11

Don't try to log in as him - he might have 2 step authentication enabled, which would send him a text to alert him to an attempt to sign in on a new device.