To block my DH on twitter?

[MooseHunter]

I recently started using twitter for work- related matters but I know DH has been on it for years, is a really prolific tweeter and has loads of followers. He's on it a lot. I recently had a look at his account and although he talks to both men and women there, his obvious flirting with women has really turned my stomach. He's a flirt in real life so I really don't think there is anything in this, but it isn't nice to see how he talks to some women and there is one woman in particular that although he doesn't talk to the most, appears to know quite a lot of stuff about his life that they haven't discussed in tweets (yes I looked) so I am a bit about her. I don't follow him and am not sure if he even knows I am on twitter so has no idea I have seen his tweets

I am of course now constantly checking his account to see what he is saying and who he is talking to and quite frankly it is driving me mad. I really wish I had never looked, I hate how this has made me feel. Should I block him so I don't have to see his tweets (and couldn't if I tried) and just say nothing to him? I do feel a bit like I am spying, tbh

(Usual name changed to protect the innocent etc)

If I were you op I'd be reading his private messages.

Your spider senses are tingeling....something doesn't feel right.
If you ask him - he may delete and talk you round and be more discreet in the future.
It may be that he does know this woman ... but it may be that whatever is with this woman is on track to becoming something iyswim?
I don't know how may times I've heard... I don't know why I looked...I'm not sure what felt different.. I sneaked and was totally shocked etc
If you're wrong then you should talk to your dh and tell him.
If you're correct about being concerned then that'll be another conversation.
Whatever you do- please don't bury your feelings.

OP I would be wary. Twitter is great and I used to be on it TONS but came off it for these reasons. Loads of people basically use it as a 'safe' way of getting into some quite serious (and odd) situations with people. It can be used by a lot of bored married/partnered people as a way to get their kicks without actively 'dating' as it were.
Believe me it can lead to A LOT of gaslighting type behaviour eg its all innocent, they are my twitter ' friends' etc. Open DMS have made a difference too- one of my male friends made the mistake of thinking he was just twitter 'mates' with someone and he showed her attention and kindness (very ill-advised he admits- he didn't know her from adam). Next thing he is getting tit pictures dm'd to him at 10am by this lonely lady.
My experience is that used well, Twitter can be fab but there are A LOT of nutty people out there and intimacies are formed way too fast on a shaky basis. The lure of the 'alert' bleep...

Someone enlighten me..what is the point of twitter unless you are a celebrity or a public figure? If you are Joe Average and you are so pally with your chums on twitter, why not just have them on facebook?

I have people on both ... but I use both sites for different reasons so have different audiences.

For me, Facebook is for recording things that happen - lovely days out, DDs achievements, significant milestones/things that have happened - to share with people I know IRL because it's a two way street of having to be their "friend" to allow them to see what I post. It's not an "interactive" or discursive platform for me.

Twitter on the other hand is where I just leave a running commentary of what I'm doing, thinking, watching etc and if people want to read it they're more than welcome to follow me, but I have no obligation to follow them. Also as it is used in real time, with a real time timeline of what people are posting right that second, you can have a discussion/debate and actually interact on a much better level than FB. It's like having a conversation on the bus with some random person and other people chipping in to the conversation and you all end up having a nice chat with a load of strangers to pass the time ... you just get to do it from your sofa.

I love football, so for example last night when there was a Champions League game on, I couldn't go and watch it with friends in the pub as DD was in bed and it was a school night ... so I watched at home but could still interact with my other football fan friends by tweeting through the game and interacting with the tweets of the other people posting about the game rather than just sitting and watching alone.

I was so suspicious as what was going on in the open-essentially in my face in the public domain- it made me think 'what the hell is going on privately?!' I guessed the password and I was horrified that there wasn't just one individual but many, and the messages were graphic, invariably getting to the point of swapping numbers too. I sincerely hope this is not the same for you as it is so shocking and wierd - my case was extreme. But you can see now why I am urging you to at least pay some heed to your instincts.

What kind of things do they know about eachother OP to make you think there could be something outside of Twitter?

I think OP means that if they are referring to things that have not been discussed publically it indicates that they have been discussed privately? Either on DM or by text if they have exchanged numbers?

It can be a really seedy place, disguised as a 'cut above' other social networks because of the type of person on there. The dangers and threats are the same. I hope OP is wrong because it is a shitty experience to have.

Agree that you're obsessing about this woman and her being pretty.
Twitter is as someone else said, funny and witty. Not naff and boastful like Facebook
It's fun to chat to other people. lol at only celebrities. They're the WORST on twitter and people who follow them are easily marked out as newbies

CherylVole I completely agree with you and that is why I LOVED twitter. I miss it! I was one of those witty people who loved it! But I was hugely naive about it and was so shocked when I found out what it was being used for in my particular situation. If your OP was going to the same bar every night and chatting up a barperson in your face and everytime you went to the loo, going in to see them when you weren't there... you would be upset. To me in a way it is even worse and more underhand when it happens on twitter.

You sound very jealous, your partner gave you no reason to be suspicious until you seen he was friends with someone you seem pretty. You have insecurities it seems and that does not warrant you to see his private messages, you do not get to ask him, otherwise I suggest you show him all the private things you have posted on here, including this thread.

Deem*

Extreme but very common JHMJHM I miss it too but I watched a rl persons marraige implode on twitter and it put me right off and yes the gaslighting that went on to her partner ended our friendship.

Why aren't people allowed to be jealous or suspicious??!?! It is completely natural and reasonable when there are so many dodgy ways for bored and lonely strangers to get involved with each other. Massively naive to think otherwise. I think he has given her very good reason to feel that something isn't right. And believe me, the fact that the twitter friend is 'pretty' is irrelevant. This can happen with people with a blinkin butterfly or sunset for an avatar and just media pictures of their feet...it is the thrill of the 'safe attention' that this arises from- not the individual. It happens A LOT.

The gaslighting is a major factor Maud- very easy to accuse someone of being 'jealous' or 'crazy' while carrying on adding to their anxieties, very publically and also in private. That sort of behaviour is either massively insensitive on one hand or very suspicious on the other

I didn't know "hot to trot" meant ready for sex confused

It's quite possible he isn't giving it that meaning either.

www.wisegeek.com/what-does-hot-to-trot-mean.htm

Hot to trot” is an English idiomatic expression that can mean two very different things, depending on context: it can either mean that someone is ready for action and eager to start something like a project or a job, or it can be understood as a readiness or eagerness for an intimate personal encounter, usually sexual in nature. Like most idioms, it isn’t meant to be taken literally. There isn’t usually any heat or any actual trotting involved. There is some dispute when it comes to how the expression originated. It may be related to a Scottish clan known as the Trotters who moved frequently due to warring tribes and tensions on the English border, or it might be related to the horsemanship arena, particularly in reference to horses that are warmed up enough to quicken their pace and win the race, clear the hurdle, or catch the fox. Most linguists don’t think that the sexual understanding for the term emerged until the late 20th century, though even this is a topic of some debate In general, people who don’t intend to make a sexual reference are usually wise to use this particular idiom with caution, particularly in situations where others may not have enough context to grasp the speaker’s meaning.

Instagram notified me recently that 'Your Facebook friend X is on Instagram' - friend X being my late-30's brother.

I had a quick look and my younger brother appears to have joined Instagram specifically to follow/stalk a Miss Universe/glamour model.

He has a girlfriend of several years, so it seemed a bit creepy to me. Other people might think nothing of it!

My own dh has engaged in what I would consider flirty banter with women on Linkedin threads, this turned up in my newsfeed once- although I rarely use the site so wouldn't know if its a regular thing.

I think you just have to trust people, sometimes its better not to know what dp's are posting on social media.

I would stay on Twitter.

Change your name to "wife of/Mrs (whatever name he is going by)", use your best photograph and flirt like mad with your own husband . You can be just as flirtatious as you like - you ARE his wife after all. He should welcome it from you and enjoy it, surely?

If there is a problem, you'll find out in due course. No harm in keeping your guard up a little. But definitely stay in the mix - don't retreat, why should you?

Your husband may just be flirtatious but a bit naive/thoughtless. If this woman has creepy designs on him, she ought to get the message soon enough when you join the fray!

Good luck.

I actually think that is a really good idea floraeasy- at least then he might talk about it. It is a very embarassing, humiliating subject to bring up as you just feel like an idiot. Even though you aren't.

OP would need to open a personal account though as she couldn't do that from a work one. On a positive note OP, hope it is all fine and that you open your own account and enjoy all the good things twitter can offer

I think that idea is childish and quite petty to be honest. Comes across like a needy jealous person, very unattractive behaviour.

Look, 'neediness', 'jelousy'- whatever pejorative terms you want to call 'feelings' and suspicion- it amounts to the same thing. If someone has good reason to feel that something odd is very publically and consistently going on they have every right to look into it. Otherwise we would all be walking around with idiotic grinning blinkers on trying to bravely quash our GOOD and RIGHT instincts just in case we are accused of being 'childish'

I don't think she has good reason, it's my opinion hence my response.

Perhaps I am insecure and this whole Twitter thing is feeding into that insecurity. Maybe I am reading to much into DH's what on the surface seems a fairly inncoucuous online relationship with an attractive woman. There's nothing different in our lives other than I now know about his twitter activity. But bloody hell, I am this close to logging into his twitter account and seeing if there's anything in his private messages and I am afraid of what I might find.

Hot to Trot I don't think I've heard that outside if a 1970s sitcom.

OP, I can understand what pp are saying in that they have formed close friendships over 10 years or so. Surely though, if he was that good friends with someone he would have mentioned them to you at some point? If I found evidence that my DH had formed a close bond with someone online that I knew absolutely nothing about I would be very suspicious, and I'm probably the least jealous or possessive person you could meet. I would tell him you've seen the messages, that they make you uncomfortable and see what his reaction is.

Change your name to "wife of/Mrs (whatever name he is going by)", use your best photograph and flirt like mad with your own husband* *. You can be just as flirtatious as you like - you ARE his wife after all. He should welcome it from you and enjoy it, surely

Oh god, cringe.

What are twitter lists used for? DH has Pretty Woman (as she is now know) on about ten. No one else on list.

Just to add he does have other lists with other people on too