To just want dh and I to cook our own meals each?

[NapQueen]

I started a new job 6 weeks ago which has me out of the house much more. Im home for about 6.15, dcs go to bed at 7 (they have dinner at cms and dh collects them at 5).

Id rather not spend those 45mins cooking, id rather do bathtime, playing or reading to dcs. So I cook after theyve gone to bed. Where in my last job id have time to prep stuff during the day most days, I now dont have this luxury.

As a result weve been relying on quick foods. Supermarket pizzas or their curry boxes, or pasta and meatballs etc. Im sick of eating all this shit and want to eat lighter healthier meals.

Dh isnt a great cook (so effing learn I want to say to him!!), and again he is shattered after his days at work too. I know he wouldnt feel full after a chicken salad or salmom and rice or whatever.

In an ideal world we would take turns cooking nice healthy meals and maybe relax on a weekend. But he is honestly happy just shoving convenience food in the oven and would definetly do this on "his days"

Aibu to say mon to fri you sort yourself and Ill sort me?

Im happy to cook sat and sunday, I enjoy cooking, and really miss it.

I remeber finding it weird that MIL and her live in boyfriend had separate cupboards and fridges. Maybe she was onto summat!!

I think if you make a meal & he rejects it, then it's fine to leave him to make his own,and also the reverse is true.
We have an issue with salads, they just don't fill my husband up so he has bread or jacket potatoes with them they carb them up.
I leave my slow cooker on from 7.30am-6pm on low and it is fine, to be honest I'm that famished when I get in I couldn't care if it's stew in summer!

Well the current set up is you are eating food you don't like just to eat with him. Seems very one sided.

YANBU to eat healthy meals you enjoy and avoid the junk.

Ugh this is the bain of my life. I hear you OP.
I'm always forward thinking dinner and dh kind of doesn't get involved. Many a time I've come in and had to start cooking when he could have got a head start.
My hours vary so it's not all the time but now is the time for you and him to come to a compromise. It's too exhausting.

If i was cooking for me, i would cook for him too. Preparing a few more vegs isntngoingbto take more time, nor is cooking a second slice of salmon in the same pan.
However, he need to learn to cook. You need to start taking turns.If you do some batch cooking, he is the one to help with homework etc...

In effect, you need a much better balance in the way you do all the work to be done at home.

Re slow cooker. Ours goes on at 7.30am to be ready when we come back. Meat is lovely and tender AND your DP can switch it off when he comes back at 5.00pm

Yanbu at all if it works for you.

However if the slow cooker option worked in the past and you wanted to do that now and then (or even better, get DH to prep something!) you can stick them on a timer plug so they aren't cooking for 12 hours.

If I cook a healthy meal for him in addition to my own, on the condition that tomorrow he cooks a healthy meal for both, he wont. So I could have had his healthy portion day two.

I'm in a similar position OP. Now I say to him, this is what I'm making, if you want the same I'll do enough for 2 or sort yourself out. If I'm ok with pizza (once a week maybe) he gets the meal ready. We often cook separate things alongside each other and then eat at the same time. You don't have to be eating the same thing to enjoy a meal together!

I wouldnt mind at all cooking the healthier stuff for both of us, but he woild eat it because its made for him rather than any sort of wanting it. The favour wouldnt be returned when he cooks.

I don't really understand what you mean about the favour wouldn't be returned when he cooks.

It sounds to me as though it would be exactly the same (in reverse) on his nights - i.e. he'd be happy to cook for you both if you'll eat the convenience foods he cooks - food which you'd eat because he'd cooked it but not because you like it. Exactly the same as you cooking the healthy options which he'd eat but not because he likes them.

The kids are in bed by 7pm. I don't understand the problem. You can cook then surely, Why do you need ready meals?

I often get in from work at 8 and cook proper food. It's not super late. You could get DH to chop stuff if he get in earlier.

Very because Im exhausted. Its a 1 hour commute each way across two trams and 20 mins walking. Thats each way. Honeslty by the time the kids go to bed the only reason Im not off to bed is because I need to feed myself.

Sounds fair enough. And being the weekend, it's nice to spend some relaxed time together in the kitchen. The bonus is that it should also help him pick up a few cooking tips from you and improve his culinary skills all round. Win-win!

Phones about to die on my commute.

"Now though I would need to turn it on at 7.30am one of us isnt home til 5/5.15 at the earliest."

If you do want to do this, buy one of those timer plugs - i set mine so i can prep and fill the slow cooker last thing at night and then leave in the morning, its set to come on during the day. Just turn the slow cooker on beforehand so it will start cooking once the timer plug also turns on and youre all set.

What's so time intensive about boiling some pasta and making a quick sauce using sieved/pureed tomatoes? After a 14 hour day I can still manage that in 30-45mins. Stop making excuses regarding time etc - if you care about something you make it happen.

I have a 2 hour commute each way by the way. I still make food from scratch every night (or DH does).

I sort DS out when I get home. We have salad later. No cooking. If DH has an issue with it I've told him he can cook!

My husband and I cook our own meals 90% of the time. We're both perfectly happy with this.

Threads like this...people too tired from work to cook nice meals for themselves, kids eating at the childminders every day...I dunno, people nowadays, normal hardworking people, they seem to have to struggle so much.

Go shopping together at the weekend & pick 5 nights of food that you agree on? I think the different ratios of main/carbs to veg/salad works for 2 differing tastes. Totally understand the not wanting to cook from scratch after work, kid's bedtime. No one is going to give you a medal(or even notice) for making sauce or batch cooking

Get a slow cooker. Prep food the night before and turn it on before work. Lovely food ready when you get home.

I think the thing is the favour is returned, either you cook him something he eats without wanting and he does the same.

Talk to him see what he thinks. FWIW what we do is I cook and he does the washing up as that works for us

"Why on Earth should she be the one doing all this batch cooking and freezing?"

Thank goodness someone said it!

Does your husband really not like what you cook, OP?

If he only does convenience stuff because he can't do anything else-he needs to learn to cook!

DH and I don't eat the same stuff. Over the past 5 years he has become a really, really, really fussy eater. And he really only eats crap.

So I cook healthy meals for me and DDs and he sorts himself out. This is a relatively recent development after years of trying to pander to his diminishing repertoire of things he will eat. I'm fine with it and so is he.

I know Tinkly it's hard isn't it. Although not sure if your post was tongue in cheek!

Before child I used to come home at 6pm and cook up a meal for us. Now after having to go in work early in order to pick child up from after school club and then continuing working after he's gone to bed, the thought of cooking a meal that Ds will eat without it being like a bush tucker trial really doesn't appeal to me!