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Original poster

Would you report someone for smoking with their child in the car?

376 replies

JigglyTuff · 02/05/2017 09:13

Just walked past a woman waiting in her car for infant school gates to open. There was a child in the front seat. She was blowing her smoke out the window and I looked round because I could smell it and wondered where it was coming from.

Or should I just mind my own business?

OP posts:
FeralBeryl · 02/05/2017 09:51

Phyllis Shock** dogger ruining! Now that's low Wink

watchoutformybutt · 02/05/2017 09:52

I'm really anti smoking but phyllis you're ridiculous. Why would you hassle social services when their time should be used on serious cases of abuse and neglect?
The mother has made a shitty choice but it's up to her.

WorraLiberty · 02/05/2017 09:54

Wait a minute, we're saying that the police, social services and the school are too overstretched to deal with a mother who has illegally smoked infront of her child in a car?

In many areas yes. Do you live in the UK?

Police = No proof, so not worth tracing the woman's address and sending an officer to her home.

Social Services = Again no proof, no name, no address.

School = Again no proof and they're certainly not going to supply the free services of the school nurse, to support someone in giving up smoking, especially when they haven't even asked.

I think the PP who suggested the school mentions it in the newsletter, has it right here.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 02/05/2017 09:54

Well no, I won't calm down.

It actually enrages me that some people would waste the limited resources of massively over stretched services dealing with people in real crises, on something like this.

My SW mum was in tears a little while ago because kids who are beaten daily are slipping through the cracks, and if there are MNers all over the country wasting their time with shit like it's no wonder.

No Jiggly my hysterical comment was aimed at Phyllis.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 02/05/2017 09:58

Feral in this day and age the line is pretty low at the moment.

It's lack of funding for our police force, if you want low level crime addressed, you need to vote in a Government that will increase it, or campaign against police cuts.

At the moment the police don't have the time or money to address even some quite serious crimes at the moment, burglaries round here won't even get a PCSO out, just a crime number.

Iamastonished · 02/05/2017 09:58

Both of my parents smoked in the car with the windows closed (no back doors so only front opening windows). As a result I loathe the habit, but I would mind my own business, but would I judge? Like hell I would.

Why so defensive Lana? You are so angry. Calm down. Do you smoke in the car with children in it?

PhyllisNights · 02/05/2017 10:02

WorraLiberty, yes?! I live in the busiest commuter town in the UK.

watchoutformybutt, it's not a shitty choice that the mother has made. She has grown the law.

PhyllisNights · 02/05/2017 10:02

grown=broken*

BaggyCheeks · 02/05/2017 10:02

But it's illegal. Does that not make it a real crime? Just as illegal as driving and using your phone at the same time, but with a different penalty.

I think asking the school to put a reminder of the law in the newsletter is a good idea.

WizardOfToss · 02/05/2017 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 02/05/2017 10:04

No Iam I have already said repeatedly that I hate smoking around kids.

So not being defensive, just getting really fed up with the weird world that MNers live in where SS and the police have time and money for this shit.
I can only assume they all live in really low crime areas, cos round here you'd be lucky to get a copper for a mugging.

They don't have money for this, and every hysterical phone call over a minor thing takes even more resources from the people who really need it.

That's what I'm bothered by.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 02/05/2017 10:06

Baggy mugging people and robbing their houses is also a "real crime".
And arguably much more serious crimes.
Ina world where the police can't attend a burglary cos they don't have the resources, what do you want them to do about this?

Original poster
JigglyTuff · 02/05/2017 10:06

Can we stop throwing around accusations of hysteria please? It's a really misogynistic slur.

I've already said I'm not going to report it. But it's interesting to consider what we do report or not. Driving without strapping kids in? Talking and texting on the phone while driving? Drinking and driving?

OP posts:
CheeseQueen · 02/05/2017 10:07

I think MN must be on glue or something lately, as it is absolutely insane in here lately!
I've never smoked, I can't stand the smell of smoke, and wouldn't want my kids around it - they're never exposed to cigarette smoke.
However, reporting someone for smoking in the car with their kids?! Shock
No. How much of a judgy, busybodying, little tell tale do you have to be to do something like that?
Yes,smoking in the car with kids in is disgusting, but that's a personal parenting judging call.A crappy one, but a parenting one all the same.
People used to smoke in cars all the time in the 70s/80s. I really hate this meddling culture we seem to be in lately.

PhyllisNights · 02/05/2017 10:08

WizardOfToss, thanks "love". It's not a persona and I do live in the real world, thank you very much. 25 years in Surrey, 4 years in Cambridge & in and out of London working the last 7 years.

I'm not stuck out in the sticks with nothing better to do. You're told by the police all the time, if you see something, sort it by reporting it.

blueskyinmarch · 02/05/2017 10:08

Social worker here - i can confirm that SS would do absolutely nothing about this. It is about breaking a law not neglect. Lots of parents smoke in their house, in front of their children, and as horrible as you may think it is, there is nothing SS can do about it.

I guess you could contact the police but they are unlikely to be able to do anything about it if they haven’t caught her in the act. It is your word against hers.

Speaking to the local school and asking them to put a reminder to parents about the legalities around smoking with a child in the car might be feasible. I would hazard a guess that lots of parents are not aware of this law change. It is a very difficult law to enforce i imagine.

llangennith · 02/05/2017 10:09

I wish someone had stopped my parents from smoking in the car with us in it. My sister and I have never smoked but we both have poor lung function caused by 'passive smoking'.

Notmyrealname85 · 02/05/2017 10:10

I'd report it... but I grew up with chainsmokers (one now dying from it, pretty slowly). I hated it as a kid so am biased!

Report a crime, it's for the police to decide (fine, they're overstretched so likely nothing will come of it - but it's their call, not yours)

TheFairyCaravan · 02/05/2017 10:10

Yes,smoking in the car with kids in is disgusting, but that's a personal parenting judging call

Choosing to break the law, or not, is not a parenting judgement call!

user1493022461 · 02/05/2017 10:10

Can we stop throwing around accusations of hysteria please? It's a really misogynistic slur

Stop being hysterical then. And no, it isn't, just because the word is originally for women only doesn't mean it is anymore. Men can as easily be hysterical as woman can.
Stop trying to shut down other peoples language by claiming its sexist. It's really wanky.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 02/05/2017 10:11

Jiggly I wouldn't report any of those things, as I have said repeatedly, my police force simply do not have the time to deal with it.

what I might do is a have a go at the person doing it, if I could, like the speeding twat who went past me the other day, doing 50ish on a 30 road, who had the misfortune to have to stop, at which point I told shouted at him exactly how pathetic, stupid and dangerous he was.

If you want these crimes to be dealt with, start campaigning for more resources, it's the only thing that will enable all crimes to be dealt with.

BillyButtfuck · 02/05/2017 10:12

I knew when I opened this it wouldn't long before Phyllis would crop up and start the end of the world is nigh crap.

FeralBeryl · 02/05/2017 10:12

I completely agree that funding is a total lottery atm Sad
I also feel that lots of low level crimes (specifically the 2 mentioned) could be drastically reduced through education - starting with something as simple as newsletter additions.

It's infuriating when you're involved on the other end of the spectrum to see why lesser crimes matter and imagining others to live in chocolate box villages where crime is knocking plant pots over Wink

My background is seeing the aftermath of people using their phones driving, of seeing the harm done from second hand smoke - I'd like to see these rolled out as educational purposes - kind of like the drink driving campaigns.

CheeseQueen · 02/05/2017 10:13

Choosing to break the law, or not, is not a parenting judgement call!

I was more referring to the hysterical screeches of "child abuse,call SS quick!!!"
As that is absolutely insane.
You're right about breaking a law not being a parenting judgement call though.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 02/05/2017 10:15

But Notmy even the act of reporting the woman would cost the force money to process and deal with the call.

Every time you call the police to report something like this, even if no action is taken, it has already cost the force hundreds of pounds just to answer the phone, log it, process the paperwork and make a decision.

Ths is why I get so annoyed at these threads, because just by making the call, you have cost them money.