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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trigger warning - miscarriage - but please help

84 replies

PollyCazaletWannabe · 01/05/2017 16:33

Posting here for traffic as am so upset. I am miscarrying again after a MMC and ERPC in January and I'm not sure but I think I just passed my baby :( sorry if anyone is upset

OP posts:
limon · 01/05/2017 18:28

Sac not sacred

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 01/05/2017 18:43

I'm so sorry for your loss. Flowers for you.

Fwiw I don't think it'd be odd at all to take it to the hospital with you. If nothing else, as a pp suggested it'd give you time to decide what you want to do with it.

I had a very early mmc and went on to have 2 healthy babies in quick succession. There is hope for you and I really hope it all works out.

Sending you unmumsnetty hugs xx

GrimmDays · 01/05/2017 19:17

Miscarriage is awful. It does sound like it's over now. The docs won't think you weird. Thinking of you and wishing you a brighter future.

FloatyCat · 01/05/2017 19:45

I really wouldn't advise googling images like a PP has suggested, you are likely to see very upsetting images.
I had a MC between 6 -7 weeks and it was as you; described a large clot with a small white speck. The cramps stopped after I passed this. Flowers
Best wishes for the future

Soulcakequack · 01/05/2017 19:51

Oh Polly I'm so sorry to see this 😞

Sending you lots of gentle hugs x

peachgreen · 01/05/2017 19:54

Oh Polly I'm so sorry. The miscarriage board is full of lovely people who will continue to take care of you. They were a lifesaver after I had my MMC. x

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/05/2017 19:55

I'm so sorry Flowers
I felt so numb after all my miscarriages. Give yourself time and headspace. Grieve as much as you need. It's just shit. And I'm so sorry.
I had three in a row and got referred to a consultant who said the positive thing was we could get pregnant - just had to find out why it wasn't sticking.
Take care of yourself. And always come here if you need to. Big hugs Flowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 02/05/2017 00:28

Update. It's now 7.30am here. Bleeding and pain stopped last night after I think I passed the baby. Going to docs for 9 am. Wish me luck ladies. Thank you for all your support last night x

OP posts:
SingaSong12 · 02/05/2017 00:31

Wishing you well Flowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 02/05/2017 04:08

Scan this morning confirmed I have lost the baby :( thanks for all your kind words

OP posts:
humblesims · 02/05/2017 04:25

I'm so sorry Polly My first pregnancy miscarried at 6 weeks and I too passed a clot which I thought was the embryo. I dont know if it was, but I had a sense of it. Its such a tough time for you. Take care and be kind to yourself. A supportive partner at this time will make all the difference. Flowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 02/05/2017 04:29

Thank you. I took the tissue I passed to the hospital and they have taken it for testing.

OP posts:
WildKiwi · 02/05/2017 08:34

I'm so, so sorry to hear this. I remember your last thread. Just wanted to say take care Flowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 02/05/2017 14:24

Thank you. I am feeling better physically now but still a bit bleak

OP posts:
flapjackfairy · 02/05/2017 15:21

Oh Polly so v sorry.
It is v hard to bear .
No words help but still thinking of you both xxx

ohfourfoxache · 02/05/2017 16:16

Oh Polly I'm so sorry sweetheart Sad

Wish you weren't going through this. I know im just a stranger on the internet but I'm thinking of you and your dh Thanks

mygorgeousmilo · 02/05/2017 17:54

Came back to see how you got on at the hospital polly. I hope you can get some answers from the testing. Everyone here is thinking of you Flowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 03/05/2017 00:17

Going back to work today on the basis that it's best to keep busy. I'm still bleeding but not heavily. When they did my scan the doc said that my womb lining was still thick so I would bleed for a while.

I feel numb really. Also we had told our parents and now I have to figure out how to tell them I've lost another baby. This would have been my parents' first grandchild and they're so invested in it :(

OP posts:
WildKiwi · 03/05/2017 00:54

Hope work isn't too bad for you today. Remember if you feel you need to go home part way through the day, go home.

I went back to work quite quickly because I was going stir crazy on my own at home (DH thought I was really losing it when he called to check on me and I was pulling down all the curtains to wash them the day after a d&c). I ended up going back to work and finishing early for a couple of days so that I eased myself back into it.

Grieve as much as you need to. Looking back I think it was good for me to be at work and busy immediately after, but it really hit me a few weeks later and I should have taken some time off at that point. I did end up speaking to a counsellor as well and found it helpful because I was just going round and round in circles saying the same things to DH and speaking to someone who wasn't involved helped.

But everyone's different, so make sure you do what you feel is right for you.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 05/05/2017 05:00

I am just coming back to say that I am still in lots of pain and having to take cocodamol every 4 hours to manage it :( is this normal? The bleeding is heavy but not appalling, but the pain is really bad. Is this to be expected after a miscarriage?

OP posts:
SparklyFairyDust · 05/05/2017 05:18

I put it in a Tupperware container with the other 'stuff' DH actually buried it in the garden and put a tree on top of it.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 05/05/2017 05:56

That sounds a bit much to me! I'd maybe pop to see the doctor just to be on the safe side. Hope you feel better soon.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 05/05/2017 06:18

Oh dear :( I rang the doctor yesterday and she said it was OK as long as I wasn't showing any signs of infection. But I'm a bit worried that I shouldn't be in this much pain :(

OP posts:
mygorgeousmilo · 05/05/2017 08:03

I don't think this is normal, the pain should be fading I would have thought. I'd go in, as you could have something left behind that needs to come out. It's just horrible, all horrible, but you must look after yourself. IME it has always moved on fairly swiftly to mild period pain. Agonising pain to me would warrant being seen.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 05/05/2017 09:53

Also when I press on my abdomen it hurts :( could this be due to muscle strain from the cramping or is it a bad sign?

OP posts:
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