Trigger warning - miscarriage - but please help

[PollyCazaletWannabe]

Posting here for traffic as am so upset. I am miscarrying again after a MMC and ERPC in January and I'm not sure but I think I just passed my baby :( sorry if anyone is upset

I'm so sorry, OP . What you say about really wanting to hold onto this one made me cry a bit - it's exactly what I said to DH after I lost my second pregnancy in a row at five weeks. It's horrible and it feels so unfair. I also understand wanting to share. I hope you have people to talk to. Look after yourself and take things as easy as you need to. Hugs.

Thanks for all your kind words. It's really late here so people are sleeping. It's nice to have mumsnet to offload on x

I don't know whether this is how you feel but if it is - remember that you've done nothing wrong. You haven't failed, and it isn't your fault this happened.

Definitely keep the "products of conception" as the sac/placenta may be useful in determining the cause. I'd suggest putting the clot in a clear plastic bag or tupperware container and placing it in fridge overnight. You are not weird. I had an MMC five years ago at 8 weeks, and, thanks to private assessment, got a chromosomal profile of the fetus. The results were extremely helpful. (As it turned out, I have a rare genetic disorder that had gone undetected until then; my baby was not a carrier but died of a trisomy.) Sending you big hugs! Losing a pregnancy is so hard, and so incredibly heartbreaking.

I miscarried 9 years ago at the same stage. No known reason. I knew even before i started bleeding as i felt a drop in my stomach. Not pain. Just like aomething dropped. I ovulated / conceived my little girl on what should haven been my due date wifh the lost one.

You couldn't have stopped it so dont put that pressure on yourself. Rest up x

Thank you all. Just feel so shit

Very sorry Polly . You have done nothing wrong, life is a bastard sometimes.

I just wanted everything to be OK

All the in the world, I am so sorry.

You could preserve overnight and then ring dr in the morning - if they can't do any tests, they can tell you then?

DH didn't really know what to say and neither did I really as it was happening. We just kept saying 'I love you' to each other and he made me hot water bottles for the pain

Sorry I am rambling now

Another one here who had 3 miscarriages before a healthy pregnancy and wonderful DC. No idea why except was told that probably something wrong with foetus. However at the time that is small consolation. Mourn the loss of your dream baby and try again and you'll almost certainly succeed in the future. The medicos won't think you strange to take them what you think is your foetus, even if it is just a clot. They are skilled at dealing with miscarriage. Don't let anyone dismiss miscarriage as just one of those (unimportant) things -- because to you and your DH it is much more and deservedly so. Take care of yourself and I hope you'll return to Mumsnet to inform us of a happier outcome sometime soon.

It's nice to hear the positive stories x

Hi polly I've only miscarried once but I also was alone in the nightime and didn't want to wake DH up. Its so unbelievably awful, no-one should have to go through this once, let alone twice. Just do whatever you need to do to get though this and cry all the awful sobby tears you need to cry. My heart goes out to you completely.

I'm so sorry. I can hear the pain in your words, I have nothing but sympathy and luck for the future.

I definitely feel more empty now. Does that sound mad? It seems as though the miscarriage process has finished

If you decide you don't want to take what you've passed to the doctor, some people bury the remains in along with a potted plant or tree to remember their little baby by.

Sorry that this has happened to you

Thank you but I don't think I would like to do that. It would seem odd somehow, I don't know why

so sorry to hear this. i've been through the exact same thing last week but i was 7 weeks. i felt a large 'thing' pass but i was too scared to look into the toilet. it wasn't my first mc but it was more traumatic than the last time. when i went to the EPU (a prearranged appointment) the midwife asked me if i'd kept what i passed, i felt horrified, there's no way i could have done that, she said it was fine.

also as bad as it seems, i was in a lot of pain and it definitely subsided after that had happened. so that was better at least.

Ah I'm so sorry for your loss :( in my case the clot was in the pad I was wearing so I couldn't ignore it :(

I'm so sorry to hear this. I've been there too, a few times in a row before healthy pregnancies/babies, it's a sadness unlike anything else. If it's helpful, I have a friend who is a midwife that had reccuring miscarriages. She took the clots and tiny fetus in to be examined and they were able to identify problems which they were then able to manage further down the line and did screening for during IVF. Nobody will think it wrong or odd to put in a jar and take into hospital. More people should probably be encouraged to do this, as heartbreaking as it is. As you have private healthcare, is it not possible to go in now? I'm so sorry again

Also, re that feeling like the mc is over, I don't think that's strange at all. It's a very sad feeling and when you know, you know.

I'm so sorry Polly. I was following your other thread xx

Sorry for your loss. I suffered three miscarriages before having dd. On the third I had medical management (tablets) - I was some where between 6-7 weeks pregnant. I saw the sacred and a tiny spec which was the embryo. You can google images to see if it correlates with what you saw.