Selling versus charity shop donations - my friend thinks I'm tight!

[alwaystiredneversleeping]

The other day I bumped into a 'friend' on my way to the post office. I had lots of parcels with me as I was off to post my ebay sales.

So she says 'ooohh what are all those parcels'. I told her, it was various bits, mainly clothing and also some unused cosmetics, pair of shoes etc...

Anyway her reaction shocked me a bit. She started questioning why I wasn't just giving this stuff to a charity shop. She said she could see why I would sell stuff that is new and unwanted but it was 'a bit stingy' to be selling second hand stuff when charity shops need donations and I'm only going to make a couple of quid off it. She then told me that whenever she doesn't need something anymore she always gifts it either to the charity shop or a given in kindness page on Facebook.

I'm a nurse, not long qualified so bottom of the band 5 pay scale and my partner has a good job so our income isn't terrible when combined, we get by - don't splash out but live comfortably enough. We do have a lot of debt though from when I was a student and also debt built up in my name from a previous relationship that I was lumped with, so even though its just a few quid here and there it does add up when I can make little sales, but I'm not desperate for the extra cash to get by on.

I guess my AIBU is AIBU to think that this 'friend' was quite mean to me. Although perhaps she didn't understand that her comment could have been hurtful?

Or am I actually a bit tight? I do donate to charity shops but it tends to be smaller bits a bobs such as kids teddies, used books, unwanted little toys. The kind of stuff that wouldn't be worth selling but is too good for the bin as charity shop could get a quid or so for it.

As I walked away I started to think maybe I am a bit of a scrooge!

Well, I've never sold anything on eBay in my life. Everything we no longer want goes to charity.

Some of that is laziness, though. I don't have the time to faff about with it.

I wouldn't think twice about people selling their stuff on eBay. Isn't that what it's for?

I donate to charity shops. Cannot be bothered selling on eBay.
I like the giving aspect, especially if the stuff is barely worn.

Next time you see the "friend" cross over the road and avoid. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. I do this, it's none of her business what you do with your unwanted stuff. She's probably jealous that she hasn't thought of it or peed off she's missed out on making some money.

No, you aren't being tight at all. It's perfectly reasonable to sell your own things. Your friend can wallow in her own virtue if she likes, but has a cheek doing so at your expense.

I'm another who donates rather than sells, but out of sheer laziness.

And those second hand bits and bobs may well be going to someone who can't afford much. Charity shops round here at least tend to overprice lots of things (because they're about making money for the charity, not about selling things ridiculously cheaply).

Keep doing what works for you!

YANBU. Or tight. It is entirely up to you what you do with your own things. It is none of your friend's business. What does she do when she changes her car? Give the old one away? Thought not. So her approach is no different to yours, it's just the point at which it makes sense for you to sell is different to hers.

Presumably your friend only buys clothes and household items from charity shops, eats gruel, and donates the rest of her money to charity?

Of course you're not tight for selling your unwanted items. Why shouldn't you get some money back for things you purchased in the first place? Your friend should mind her own business.

That said, we usually just give stuff away to charity shops, but that's only because I'm too lazy to bother putting it all on eBay or do a dreaded car boot sale.

It is none of her business and certainly not 'tight' of you to sell things you paid for. She doesn't sound like a great friend.

Nothing wrong with selling stuff I do the same if I feel I might be able to get some money from ebay or gumtree I will often try that first. Don't get me wrong I do send lots to the charity shop, but why shouldn't you make some extra pennies if you can? I think lots of people who think you should just give it all to charity are either too lazy to sort , photograph and post it or have way more money than I do.

I give everything to charity shops/friends/family.

Your friend is obnoxious. It's your bloody business what you do with your own possessions. You could just as easily have left them in the attic.

I'm another one who gives stuff away simply because I'm too damn lazy to sell it.

There's nothing at all wrong with you getting some cash for unwanted items - it's actually being very sensible.

I don't see what your income has to do with it
If you want to sell stuff then sell it , if you want to donate stuff then donate it, I think shes just doing the 'i'm better than you' scenario because she donates more stuff than you do

You don't have to justify yourself. It's your stuff to sell if you please.

Since I've started eBaying I bitterly regret the potential thousands of pounds worth of things I've given away to friends, neighbours and charity.

I still give some things charity and pass things from my kids to niece and nephew but that's it.

it's not her business what you choose to do with your unwanted items.

When I'm getting rid, I sort between eBay, charity shop and friends/relatives who could need kids clothing/toys/stuff. Often I will make the easiest choice for myself (eg if something will be a nuisance to pack to post) or I am short of time (usually!) then it'll go to charity.

You sound normal op, don't let some stupid interferer make you feel bad about it.

I only donate because I can't be arsed with the hassle of eBay selling

If you can be arsed then good for you!

Your friend should butt out.

Don't even think about justifying it to others. You do as you please. Lots of people don't donate to charity (I rarely do) it's no one else's business. Donatngnis mainly about making the giver feel good anyway

donating is mainly about making the giver feel good anyway

Blimey you're not tight! Why wouldn't you choose to sell stuff 2nd hand when you do need the money to have a better lifestyle/make a dent in the debt...

I like the giving aspect, especially if the stuff is barely worn*

I like the giving aspect, I wish that I could afford to do more of it. Don't feel guilty OP

We donate to charity shops and give stuff away to friends and family not because we are particularly virtuous but because we can't be arsed with advertising it online, dealing with packaging and shipping and the like. We usually just want it gone and a quick drop off at the charity shop serves that purpose. Your friend sounds like a sanctimonious, judgmental twunt, it's your stuff and your business what you do with it. Lots of people use eBay to supplement a low income too, does she judge them for being a bit strapped?

Fair play to you OP and a big because I don't sell on eBay but I often buy from there and you are doing those of us who do a huge favour, given the amount of hassle sellers can get (not from me, I am lovely ).
I tend to give stuff away to friends with younger kids or donate clothes to the emergency/spare clothes wardrobe in Kindy.
Books I do book swap or take to Oxfam. Toys I donate to nursery/my own workplace. Bigger items go to friends or a second hand shop that give you a %.
But this is because I am too lazy, disorganised and cluttered to sell on ebay. So your "friend" can virtue-signal all she likes. Tis bollocks.