Selling versus charity shop donations - my friend thinks I'm tight!

[alwaystiredneversleeping]

The other day I bumped into a 'friend' on my way to the post office. I had lots of parcels with me as I was off to post my ebay sales.

So she says 'ooohh what are all those parcels'. I told her, it was various bits, mainly clothing and also some unused cosmetics, pair of shoes etc...

Anyway her reaction shocked me a bit. She started questioning why I wasn't just giving this stuff to a charity shop. She said she could see why I would sell stuff that is new and unwanted but it was 'a bit stingy' to be selling second hand stuff when charity shops need donations and I'm only going to make a couple of quid off it. She then told me that whenever she doesn't need something anymore she always gifts it either to the charity shop or a given in kindness page on Facebook.

I'm a nurse, not long qualified so bottom of the band 5 pay scale and my partner has a good job so our income isn't terrible when combined, we get by - don't splash out but live comfortably enough. We do have a lot of debt though from when I was a student and also debt built up in my name from a previous relationship that I was lumped with, so even though its just a few quid here and there it does add up when I can make little sales, but I'm not desperate for the extra cash to get by on.

I guess my AIBU is AIBU to think that this 'friend' was quite mean to me. Although perhaps she didn't understand that her comment could have been hurtful?

Or am I actually a bit tight? I do donate to charity shops but it tends to be smaller bits a bobs such as kids teddies, used books, unwanted little toys. The kind of stuff that wouldn't be worth selling but is too good for the bin as charity shop could get a quid or so for it.

As I walked away I started to think maybe I am a bit of a scrooge!

I love that idea

When she moves house does she give the old one to the homeless?

Blimey.
What an odd reaction!
I do both fwiw - I sell on e bay but give away loads too.
It's not anyone else's business and it's not your friends business either!

Honestly don't give it another thought. She's being unnecessarily judgey. Does she judge everyone who ever does a car boot too? You really don't have to defend this in terms of your income, or feel,bad about it. It's just a sector of the economy that she chooses not to engage in. Lots of people, on the other hand, do, both as buyers and sellers.

I used to ebay a lot of stuff - now I just can't be arsed. Listing fees, final value fees, schlepping to the post office, annoying buyers who faff about and then raise spurious complaints. Just not worth it. Bigger stuff, like old furniture, goes on Gumtree instead.

Getting pretty fed up of the "charity shops are overpriced" line - charity shops are there to raise money for the charity, not provide cheap stuff.

I usually donate things to charity shops, but this is more because I'm too lazy to do the whole eBay selling thing. There's certainly nothing wrong with selling unwanted possessions.

It's up to you what you do with your old stuff. I give mine away on a local 'Given In Kindness' page on facebook. I've seen people give away furniture on there to people starting out in their first homes and I give away clothes bundles/toys etc to others on a budget. I do inwardly roll my eyes a bit when I look some of the tat people are trying to sell on our local fb page and the price they are asking. I have a relative who tries to sell everything for almost what she paid for it, refuses to accept offers and never manages to sell anything. But she would rather it sit gathering dust than give it away free or cheaply. To me that is stingy.

People are strange. One friend asked me why we were looking at secondhand cars rather than new ones. Didn't we want to have all the guarantees?

I do both but seriously it is none of her business.

I donate/give away things I know won't sell or know someone who wants it but we're on a low income so things I sell go on new clothes/things we need.
Anything that doesn't sell gets donated anyway.

It's not like you're involving her in anything so really odd of her to be like that.

If you are looking purely from a charity perspective, it would be good, if you were good at selling online, to sell online, then give your profit to charity. Charities often sell online, themselves, to get a better price.

So she shouldn't judge your charitable nature purely on you selling on line. Selling online and giving to charity are not mutually exclusive.

So, if I were you, I'd still sell and if you want to give to charity give too.

Used to sell stuff on eBay. early got burned by a few scammers though and get really pissed off with the number of "Will you accept £1 for buy it now" requests so can't be bothered putting myself through that anymore.

So now we donate stuff and Gift Aid it. We do all ours through the British Red Cross, as they send you a letter once a year saying "Your donations have made us £X" which is nice. I think they probably get more out of it than we would, once you strip out eBay and PayPal fees, postage, trouble via con artists. Then we top it up to a set amount at Xmas. I just view it as cutting out the middle man really, and saving us some hassle. I don't mind the work, I do mind the contact with arseholes though.

But there were times that I needed to sell stuff on eBay. There were also times I needed to shop out of charity shops. One of those times was when I was working and paying off student loans as my second job salary was like £2 over the annual threshold for repayment. So wherever you are in life, you do what's best for then.

Your friend was a bit mean to have a go at you about it though. I hate when people use "ethical choices" as a way of putting themselves above others. Because then it's about ego not ethics.

I do find it odd that people waste so much time selling items for £1 or £2 on local selling sites rather than just donating them. Surely more hassle than it's worth?

over the last two years dh and i have cleared around £2k after fees by selling odd things on ebay, we send unsold stuff to charity on gift aid on a regular basis too [ have collected loads of stuff over the years] and now we are clearing it out as we are planning to down size in the next year.
thanks to ebay selling that is paying a lot towards our legal fees, as we donate to charity and buy stuff too in your shoes op i would have told 'friend' to mind her own fecking business !

It seems a bit mean spirited of her to come over all self-righteous by telling her how good and charitable her behaviour is by comparison to yours, but perhaps she didn't mean it to sound that way.

You're struggling financially and what you do with your things is your business.

When my son was born we put aside a sum of money to buy him some clothes or eBay etc. When he grows out of those clothes we sell them again and buy a "new" lot of eBay using the recycled pot of money. It means that he is costing us much less than he would have done. It seems very sensible to me and not at all selfish,

If you are prepared to make the effort then sell on eBay then good luck to you. Giving to a charity shop or freecycle etc. is hardly a grand act of benevolence anyway. It's just a way of moving crap out of your house. It's not like you're giving your prized and treasured possessions anyway.