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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Could you just...?"

62 replies

Ellybellyboo · 01/05/2017 09:47

WIBU to poke the next person who asks me this in the eye?

I'm a keen crafter, lots of sewing, dress making, knitting, etc. I do quite a few favours for friends and family - shortening trousers, etc, and I really don't mind, but most people always start with "can you just....." and the 'just' bit is beginning to piss me off.

Had a friend round yesterday who asked me if I could "just" make some curtains for her DD's 4 poster bed out of some duvet covers.

I find the 'just' a bit minimising if you see what I mean. I don't mind doing any of it, but it's really not a case of "just". I don't expect them to kiss my arse, but most of the time they're asking for quite a big favour

OP posts:
BigGrannyPants · 01/05/2017 09:48

How would you like to be asked?

user1488721675 · 01/05/2017 09:52

Yep, totally get it. "Can you just" take this jacket in for me? "Can you just" replace this zip? Like it's a 10 minute job? It's bloody not.

Chloe84 · 01/05/2017 09:57

Perhaps it's a case of people not valuing the servicesthey get for free?

No way would I spend all that time, you're a better person than me Grin

Do they repay favours?

Maybe say no once in a while so they appreciate you.

Goatfucker · 01/05/2017 09:59

Turn it into a business and start charging for just.

ThePinkOcelot · 01/05/2017 10:04

I really don't think they are belittling your craft. I think it's just something people say tbh.

I say it all the time to DH and he always says I love you and your just! But I honestly don't mean that it's just a little job.
Hope that makes sense.

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 01/05/2017 10:12

Ha! I hear you. I've been asked to "whip up" a baby blanket for a friend of a friend- should only take me a weekend, apparantly! Sod the fact that I'm backlogged with orders anyway! And the best line ever?

"You've already got the colors I want so a fiver should do it, yes?"

Gah!

Code42 · 01/05/2017 10:13

Every time someone says that, you know it's never going to be "just" anything - I hear you, OP Grin

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/05/2017 10:20

You do it for freeShock, are you stark bollock mad?

Chloe84 · 01/05/2017 10:22

AllRoads hope you say no! Or charge the right price? £5?! Shock

weaselwords · 01/05/2017 10:25

I think they say "just" to minimise the enormity of the favour they are asking to themselves. Then they don't have to face up to just how cheeky they are. It is completely devaluing what you do and I would call them on it.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 01/05/2017 10:26

Curtains for a child's four-poster bed? From duvet covers? There's absolutely no "just" about that!

What's your hourly-rate? Not got one? Then it's just about time you started quoting one. Whether you choose to charge it is up to you but I'd put a stop to making things for people unless it was my Mum asking. This when a worthwhile and satisfying hobby starts to become a bore and a chore.

FamilySpartan · 01/05/2017 10:27

I understand completely, as I work in a creative role that friends like to take advantage of. Once I started a business from it and started to charge for my time, quite a few stopped asking. Now that I have steady clients that are happy to pay reasonable money, most friends have stopped asking or only ask for special occasions. I do make it clear that I offer them mates rates but I don't do anything for free.

annandale · 01/05/2017 10:28

Christ! FGS start charging, properly. Most people will back out and the occasional one will actually pay which would be nice. TBH if you will do it for free and not moan except on here, why on earth would they shell out?

'Oh I've started a business with this! Really exciting, I'm thrilled. I'll send you proper estimate, but baby blankets usually come out around £200, so let me know once you've had the email'.

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 01/05/2017 10:28

Chloe it was at the end of a really bad day, so I'm afraid I wasn't polite at ALL!

It's a guy I know who works in a convenience store. I started pilimg things on the counter and said "You've alreasy got these in, so a couple of quid should do it, no?"

I'm now defriended on facebook! Oh, the tragedy!

😂

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 01/05/2017 10:36

Things I had drummed into me after months of running myself ragged trying to please everyone:

A true friend should support your craft, and expect to pay the full price! My friends have seen- which "normal" customers won't have, the sweat and sometimes tears which go into my work (I once cried for 3 hours because an edge wasn't straight) so should appreciate it more!

And- and PLEASE don't think I'm having a go, I'm just telling you what someone told me...if you offer things for well below what they're worth, it hurts people who offer this service for a more realistic price.

Work out costs/time, take off a little for mates' rates if you like (make sure they KNOW this) and quote them that price. If they refuse, they'll have to pay at least that to get it done elsewhere anyway!

Sorry about the essay. Blush

Elphaba99 · 01/05/2017 10:46

YANBU. "Could you just..." really irritates me. If you want to do it, then I would decide on an hourly rate and say "I can, but I have so much work on, I've had to start charging. I'm sure you understand. Grin. So let me estimate cost for x project and you decide if you'd still like it done."

user1484578224 · 01/05/2017 10:47

20 quid an hour.....can you just pay up front

MrsDustyBusty · 01/05/2017 10:49

It's awful, but not as bad as "would you like to?" when the honest answer isn't an option.

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 01/05/2017 10:51

"20 quid an hour? But I'm a friend!"

"So you'll a) know more than most how much work goes into something like this, and b) know you're 100% guaranteed that the work won't be shoddy!"

TheViceOfReason · 01/05/2017 10:52

"My normal rate is £30/hour, but mates rates is £15/hour. I would guess this will be approx x hours work. Let me know if you want me to go ahead".

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 01/05/2017 10:52

MrsDusty OR, "But you'd be crocheting anyway, so what's the biggie?"

scaryclown · 01/05/2017 10:52

Please call your business 'Could you just?...Sewing and repairs' or CYJ Sewing and repairs'...Grin

SapphireStrange · 01/05/2017 10:53

YANBU. There seem to be certain areas of work where people don't realise/forget/handily block the fact that they are, you know, work, that you get paid for.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 01/05/2017 10:53

They would probably value your time more if you charged them something. If you don't feel you want to do this maybe you could say, OK that will take me roughly x hours so a donation of £x to my favourite charity should cover it.

expatinscotland · 01/05/2017 10:54

'How would you like to be asked?'

How about not at all or be asked what you charge first.

YANBU but you are being a total doormat by doing any of these 'favours'. Start CHARGING and don't be afraid to do so. 'I could, but it's going to cost X.' 'Oh, I thought since we were mates/relatives/neighbours.' 'Sadly due to so many requests, it's all infringing on my time and I need to charge.'