"Could you just...?"

[Ellybellyboo]

WIBU to poke the next person who asks me this in the eye?

I'm a keen crafter, lots of sewing, dress making, knitting, etc. I do quite a few favours for friends and family - shortening trousers, etc, and I really don't mind, but most people always start with "can you just....." and the 'just' bit is beginning to piss me off.

Had a friend round yesterday who asked me if I could "just" make some curtains for her DD's 4 poster bed out of some duvet covers.

I find the 'just' a bit minimising if you see what I mean. I don't mind doing any of it, but it's really not a case of "just". I don't expect them to kiss my arse, but most of the time they're asking for quite a big favour

There are SO many things people think "should" be done for free if they know you, even just as an acquaintance.

Could you just...

Fix my computer?
Diagnose my back trouble?
Paint a portrait of my children?
Be official photographer at our party?
Play the harp at my wedding?
Fix my bicycle?
Make a cake for DC's party?
Design a poster for my cousin's company launch?
Read through my novel and have a word with some publishers?
Tell me which vitamins I should take?
Speak in French with my DC for an hour every Sunday?
Design my garden?
Teach my DC the guitar?

Unfortunately I can't offer you any payment (despite being very well off) but...

You will gain "experience" (even though you've been doing this professionally for 10/20/50 years)
I will recommend you to other people (because you work for nothing!)
It won't take you long!
You'll enjoy it as it's a fun activity and lots of people do it as a hobby (so who do you think you are to require payment, you greedy...)
I'm too busy to do it myself whereas you are not
I will buy you a drink afterwards (a £2 drink for work worth £50?)

Say you do it for your own enjoyment and you don't think you'd enjoy doing whatever it is they want done
Say, nah not really in the mood for that kind of thing
Take a look, pull a face and say no I don't really fancy doing it
Etc etc
Don't be a mug fgs

If someone was round mine and it was a 20 second sewing machine job I might, but I'd say sorry I cba to change the thread so if they don't want a black repair on the blue item tough

Getting there are people who genuinely can't thread a needle. I'm registered blind. I can see the colors I chose etc, but I do most of my work by touch.

Or take the item, say you'll do it when you have time, but don't ever actually do it
Classic passive aggressive move, very entertaining works like a charm😉

My work is something I could easily "just do" for free as a favour, and I occasionally get asked. My reply is that to do it without charging isn't fair on all the people who do pay, so I don't do freebies. I might do something entirely at my discretion, but I find that people respect you more if you are very upfront about it.

Please call your business 'Could you just?...Sewing and repairs'
Yes!

My reply is that to do it without charging isn't fair on all the people who do pay, so I don't do freebies.
That's a great response, Middling. I think people need to be reminded that everyone is trying to make a living and that any work they do should be valued.

I crochet and when I wear (beautiful) things people sometimes ask me if I can make one for them. I say "If you like it then you should learn to crochet then you could make your own one. There are classes on at X and Y locations." They invariably say, "Oh no, I wouldn't have time to do that, I'm much too busy." And I leave it at that.

I have made things for other people, but only for people that I really like. I would consider a skills swap, so if I make something that takes ten hours, they could do something for me that takes the same amount of time. That would work well because my friends and I already do favours for each other, so there wouldn't even need to be a formal agreement because I probably already owe them more favours than they owe me. And it would put off the cheeky chancers because they never have time for anyone other than themselves.

Black another friend brought his carpet cleaner around and did my PILs whole house in return for a baby blanket- fair enough!

That sounds like a good swap AllRoads, carpet cleaning is exactly the sort of chore that I would hate doing myself.

Another thing about "mates rates": they are what you should be pricing UP from, not taking away.
Mates rates are the absolute minimum you would consider doing a job for, so that includes materials and a fixed hourly amount for your time. Wouldn't you rather be playing with your kids/reading a book/ Mumsnetting than spending your time making something you'll never get to use, and probably to a deadline, too?

So IMO you need to add up
Materials+designing time+sourcing costs+hourly rate*= Mates Rates.

• in my case it was £5 an hour to make a quilt from baby clothes. I'd done it for love for my own DC and a nephew, but when a friend was quoted a conservative £150 for a single she soon backed down.

I was very relieved and glad to have kept a friend because I'd have felt resentful and completely done over for any less money.

I think the trouble is that cheap foreign labour (in primark/matalan etc) clothes means people massively underestimate the hours involved in sewing/crafts. If it takes 6 hours to sew a dress, you can't possibly buy one for £10 except you can.