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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wedding & Money

85 replies

GreenFox17 · 01/05/2017 09:05

Morning everyone!

We're getting married next year and I know it's a while off but someone mentioned this yesterday.

It's about wedding gifts. Of course, we do not expect anything from anyone and will make that clear, but if someone did want to give us something WIBU to ask for cash donation?

We don't want/need 'gifts' as we've been living together for 3.5 years and have everything we need and no space to store anything! (Small flat). We want to buy a house after the wedding so any money would be put towards that.

I know it seems grabby but we really would rather nothing than lots of different bits and bobs! 😫

OP posts:

foodiefil · 01/05/2017 15:44

Don't put a cheesy poem on the invite something along the lines of presence not presents that's incredibly cringe worthy.

My favourite is no gift information at all or 'for any other information please get in touch with x'. I think most will assume money.

If you really want to specify it then just say you've lived together for a while and won't be having a gift list but any contributions to your future together would be appreciated.

Chinnygirl · 01/05/2017 16:31

When I was really poor I sometimes didn't go to a wedding if they asked for money or to wear a certain colour because I didn't have the money and I was too ashamed to admit it or just give a fiver. It looks less cheap to give some flowers. Please don't ask for anything, most people give money anyway.

carjacker1985 · 01/05/2017 16:33

People on here will say it's grabby, like a predetermined list of specific gifts that you're not allowed to stray from isn't weirdly demanding either. It's your wedding, do what you want.

esmaesmomma · 02/05/2017 09:23

Me and my OH have asked for money by using a cute poem but the poem does clearly state only if you really want to give something and just them sharing our day is enough and we genuinely mean that we have our home together with everything in it if we did receive money we would use it towards a mini moon but not counting on it and certainly wouldn't mind not receiving any money at all. As long as we get a card that all I care about I love my cards! lol x

Lj8893 · 02/05/2017 10:27

Oh mumsnet love a wedding money poem, please share yours

IheartDodo · 02/05/2017 16:43

Don't do it esmaesmomma it's a trap!

Lj8893 · 02/05/2017 16:58

Sorry I was being cruel smacks hands

esmaesmomma · 02/05/2017 21:35

lol I can't remember it off the top of my head it was a good one though.

Personally I couldn't think of anything worse then receiving those tacky silver wedding photo frames or all that mr&mrs crap it just goes straight in the bin or in a cupboard as a regift I know that sounds ungrateful but they are awful and I really don't like them. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for money if you're only inviting close friends and family and you're giving them a nice day and not cheap skating too much.

DreamilyLookingOutOfTheWindow · 02/05/2017 21:48

We requested no gifts. We had lived together for ten years before getting married

And we got lots of gifts.

Most of it complete tack I have to say, someone earlier mentioned wine glasses - we ended up with nine boxes of them. They are the go to least imaginative present ever.
Picture frames I wouldn't be seen dead hanging in the house, and insy winsy little pastry forks etc.

We sent thank you cards, and jogged most of it down to Oxfam.

Honestly if people ask for money I really don't get why instead of shoving a tenner in an envelope, someone would rather buy something shit like yet another box of wine glasses or champagne flutes - it just shows lack of care and 'here you go, we got you something for the sake of it'

Strokethefurrywall · 02/05/2017 22:09

We didn't register when we got married and I think we asked for no gifts because where we live, all rentals are fully furnished (and we didn't own our own home).

We got married where we live (Caribbean) so everyone gave us cash (all family back in UK who couldn't attend etc), along with all our friends here. My bosses gave us $2500.

We actually ended up making money on the wedding in the end, so we gathered it all together and bought our very first home about 6 weeks later. Saw it, fell in love with it and offered straight away.

When we closed on the purchase we sent an email to everyone who'd come to our wedding to say thank you for their generosity (had done thank you cards before that obviously!) and that they all had a stake in our first home.

It was a really lovely feeling telling our friends that they'd all helped us buy our first place.

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