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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have a flippin clue about how to 'garden'?

84 replies

TheNoveltySlippers · 30/04/2017 22:20

And no that is not a euphemism for keeping lady bits tidy.

I have a garden / small patio garden for the first time in my life, I'm pushing 40 and I'd like to know how to make it beautiful, but everything I read may as well be written in a different language.

I can't understand instructions for pruning (what does 'prune hard' mean?).

How can an aspect be both sheltered and sunny?

What on earth is 'mulching'?

There must be a way of progressing from zero knowledge to a basic understanding of the main terms. Most things seem to assume you've already progressed beyond that first part.

I've tried watching some Alys Fowler YouTube vids but even she just uses lots of fancy Latin words and I give up.

Can anyone recommend a Complete and Utter Simpleton's Guide to Gardening? Like, imagine it's their very first Sunday in the garden ... where do I bloody begin?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheNoveltySlippers · 01/05/2017 09:51

Morning gardeners! Some lovely tips here and so clear.

Fab recommendations for books too, and I've been googling them all with glee.

Re neighbourly advice - some seem into gardening, but our neighbourhood is what some would describe as 'urban grit', and many people seem to have gone no further than rusting bicycles and forgotten mattresses as their gardening 'approach'. Not sure what Monty Don would say.

My garden, though smallish, is south facing, which is great. Except for the fact that at the end of the garden is a neighbour who has grown those tall evergreens - possibly leylandii? The sort of trees people grow for privacy and I'm pretty sure people go to wars about.

Pondering now what I can possibly grow in their shadow...if anything Hmm.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheNoveltySlippers · 01/05/2017 09:56

Frouby I know what you mean about passed on knowledge. The old boyfriend sounded very helpful - could you send him round?

OP posts:
Frouby · 01/05/2017 10:04

Lol he was very helpful but a bit of a control freak hence him being an ex.

Honestly just go for it. Bedding plants are pretty forgiving and as long as you water them, do a bit of pest control and make sure they don't get swallowed up by weeds they will thrive.

Start with them for this year, read your books and make plans for next year. You will get a feel for what you like and dont like and will be able to make plans for next year. A gardening calander might be useful so you can see what you should be doing each month.

Rossigigi · 01/05/2017 10:14

OP you are not the only one. I bought some gardening tools today and have ordered some gardening books. But I have a 'wild flower garden' at the Morton of my garden and I have no idea where to start with it- what's weeds and what is flowers. However I'm determined that this year I will do something...... Just need to know where to start!!

elephantoverthehill · 01/05/2017 13:07

Weeds are anything you haven't planted or don't want to keep, or anything that is taking over and stopping other plants growing.

Floralnomad · 01/05/2017 13:14

Can I recommend groundcover geraniums , they are the perfect plant , you can do anything and plant them anywhere and they grow and grow and then grow some more .

Original poster
TheNoveltySlippers · 02/05/2017 21:05

You may indeed Floral - I googled, they look lovely and I thought 'yes!'. Then I read that they might be toxic to our pooch. Boo.

OP posts:
Parietal · 02/05/2017 21:13

for your watering question - water for at least a 'count to 10' and longer for a big plant.

whenever you buy something, look carefully at the label to see how big it gets. a plant that looks tiny might want to grow to 2m tall and overwhelm your garden

things which are easy to grow include

  • hebe
  • clematis (but only if the label says 'TYPE III' so it doesn't get too big)
  • salvia
  • hellebores

things I would avoid

  • patio rose
  • bamboo
  • wisteria
AnUtterIdiot · 02/05/2017 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AntiGrinch · 02/05/2017 21:25

hello can I hijack a bit to ask why a little raspberry plant (autumn fruiting) that I have just bought from Wilko (classy bird) looks a bit wilty and sad?

I dug a bed, put bonemeal in it, and planted it, and watered it. It's been in for 24 hours now and I was hoping it would look a bit more at home. but it looks....sad?

It is against a fence. Sunny in the morning, shady in the afternoon.

elephantoverthehill · 02/05/2017 22:04

Anti lots of water and I am sure it will pick. Did you 'puddle' it in? I transplanted some from DM's garden and they have taken 2 weeks to look happy.

elephantoverthehill · 02/05/2017 22:05

pick up

AntiGrinch · 02/05/2017 22:07

I don't know what "puddle" is! Do you think maybe I didn't do enough water? We've had a bit of rain here but not that much. Do I need to get the hose out and really soak it? I did about 12 l. (watering can) but the ground isn't soggy around it

Thanks elephant!

Elledouble · 02/05/2017 22:19

Anti my raspberry stick (which is basically all it was when I bought it from Lidl!) didn't do anything much the first year I had it and I thought it was going to die - it's looking much healthier this year Smile I'm hopeful of some actual berries this year!

OP I haven't much of a clue about gardening either. My garden was all waist-high weeds when we moved in and I just got out there and pulled everything up and dug up the ground with a fork to get the roots out. I even seeded a lawn (grass seeds form Wilkos, followed the instructions on the packet!) which is doing quite well.

Basically pull up everything you don't like and plant things you do - annual bedding plants are nice and cheap while you get the hang of things. I also got loads of seeds for colourful flowers like California poppies which cost pence from Aldi and so it didn't really matter if they didn't do well.

This year I've sworn to tackle the right-hand bed which is more shady and overgrown and problematic.

I have a hydrangea in my front (north-west facing) garden, also from Lidl, which seems to be growing well despite the shade. You need plenty of room for them though (I've got mine in a square bed on its own) cos they grow like hell. Just have fun with it!

elephantoverthehill · 02/05/2017 22:26

Anti when you dig the hole for the plant, especially when it is as dry as it has been recently or for plants that are going to get big, fill the hole with water to make a puddle. 'Puddle it in' Smile

elephantoverthehill · 02/05/2017 22:33

Oh and then fill it back with earth/compost.

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 02/05/2017 22:51

I love gardening but have moved from a big garden to a very small one.It is all clay so I am digging out holes and refilling with top soil.The previous owners had not done much so we started last year with perennials,these are the ones that come up each year and some annuals(bedding plants)for instant colour.
If you do not want to spend too much time then lots of perennials are ideal as once they're in that's it.Have a look at other people's gardens to see what grows in your area.
This is also a good time to sow seeds,cheaper than buying Things like cosmos,marigold,sweetness.
water even if it rains when you've just planted things as the rain often does not go down as far as you think,once the plants roots start to grow and spread you can just water in dry weather.
Stop worrying and enjoy.I have lots of seeds growing in pots in a large plastic container(under bed storage type)by the patio door for light and warmth but I am putting them out during the day to acclimatise them then will plant out later when the risk of frost is over.I still get excited when seeds come through!

Crikeyblimey · 02/05/2017 22:51

Ypu need to water raspberries all the time (even when it's raining!). Not really but they do need a good drink and often.

I'm ok with plants - just bung in what you like and see if it is happy. Some plants won't do well but you can always move them. Most labels say if they like it sunny / shady etc.

My dilemma is that I have a bare / new / boring square of turf and can't decide how to dig some beds. Shall I go for the easy 'straight lines round the edges' or something else?

Duck90 · 02/05/2017 23:12

parietal I understand the other 2, but why avoid a patio rose? Just wondering, but maybe a silly question?

Original poster
TheNoveltySlippers · 02/05/2017 23:30

Parietal why wisteria out of interest? I bloomin love wisteria, but interested to know the drawbacks!

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Original poster
TheNoveltySlippers · 02/05/2017 23:32

Thanks for the Unwins tip utter. Passionflower tumbling down the drainpipes sounds lovely. I think you've described my dream garden. I would love birds and bees.

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Original poster
TheNoveltySlippers · 03/05/2017 00:34

Counting to 10 is an excellent guide for watering, thank you. (And easyvto remember.) I've not been spending nearly enough time, clearly.

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OrangeFluff · 03/05/2017 01:14

Wisterias need specific pruning to get them to flower, can be quite rampant once they are established, need very sturdy supports as they get big and heavy, and sometimes they can take years before they even start flowering. They aren't great in pots and should be in the ground.They are very beautiful though, and the smell is divine!

AntiGrinch · 03/05/2017 11:32

Ok I will be watering the hell out of that raspberry later! Thanks

Chloe1984 · 03/05/2017 12:36

The best advice I can give is feed with Miracle Grow or similar, it really does make a huge difference.