To loathe being pregnant?

[soontobeamum1982]

I am so fed up. Despite being, obviously, very excited about meeting my baby (this is my first) I'm wishing away the next three months. I'm almost 27 weeks and have had no end of problems. At the beginning it was all the usual first trimester difficulties, but I never ever had a lift to the tiredness or got the mythical 'glow'. Now i'm in constant pain from ligament stretching (I'm very short), can't sleep at all on my left side and due to being high risk i've been warned against any right side sleeping. So I'm exhausted.

Pregnancy has wrecked my eyesight - i'm struggling to see properly (awaiting the arrival of newly prescribed glasses) and have visual migraines at least three times a week which have taken me to L&D about six times now for pre-eclampsia checks. My BP is fine, but they don't stop, and they now apparently put me at high risk for pre-E.

I am also now suspected of gestational diabetes due to two high glucose urine tests and have had my 28 week bloods moved forward to this week to see how things are. I'm trying to keep to a v low GI diet (as I have been since 22 weeks, when I had the first dodgy urine test) but it's so hard to do and i'm gutted that it seems to have made no difference. We'll see what the bloods say.

All this has made me very anxious and I get worried about kick counts. Some days my bub is so quiet in there, and I get really freaked out. A friend of mine recently had a stillbirth at 31 weeks, which isn't helping my anxiety levels.

To top it all off I work in a job that is in some way related to politics (won't say any more on here in cases my colleagues are on mumsnet) and this sodding general election means i'm busier than ever in my last few weeks of work. (I go off at 34 weeks in mid june).

I'm sure i'll feel better once my glasses have arrived and my vision + migraines improve - but honestly, I am SO OVER THIS.

I'm sure i'll get yelled at for wishing my life away... but any tips for making the last weeks of pregnancy go as smoothly - and as quickly - as possible?

And please don't say 'enjoy the peace and freedom while it lasts'. Me and DP just had to cancel our final quick holiday this week because of all the testing i'm going through and the MW's request that i'm near my own hospital for checks whenever the migraines come.

Focus on the fact it is a means to an end.

I never really fancied the idea of being pregnant and was duly treated to a very unenjoyable, non-glowly, vomiting from start to finish pregnancy. I did however, really, really want a baby. Reminding myself that was a means to an end, and also not something I would necessarily ever have to do again, got me through.

It seems endless for you now (the last 4 weeks feels particularly long, sorry) but it will seem dim and distant very soon.

It's hard when everyone is sharply telling you to love the moment and how amazing it is, when you feel awful all the time and are having pregnancy related health issues but honestly, time will pass quickly

And just in case you're worrying - not enjoying pregnancy has zero bearing on how you will bond with your baby when s/he arrives. Absolutely none.

I understand. I actually had a pretty good first 2 trimesters as they go, but the third? So much pain, no sleep and generally feeling like shit. 'Counting the kicks' was so stressful due to a frontal placenta, SPD crippled me, low blood pressure had me wobbling all over the place, by the end I booked an induction if he didn't turn up by x date (10 days overdue, lucky labour started 9 days overdue!).

If you can do some light walking, I do suggest it. However, by the end of my pregnancy I was very well acquainted with Netflix. I also got a Nintendo DS with some puzzle games that kept my mind occupied! Along with spending the last few weeks buying what we needed, that certainly made it feel less of a 'get on with it' and made it more real/exciting. In the meantime, it's just a case of taking it day by day. Hope you feel better soon .

It's shit isn't it?

I'm pregnant too. Not my first. Haven't found a way to make it go quicker. And yes the end drags even bloody more than the beginning.

Don't feel bad you sound like you've got a lot of complications and you're entitled to feel bloody miserable!

The only thing that helps me is getting plenty of rest. Easier said than done...

There is a Facebook group called Gestational Diabetes UK. Very useful and also has a website with lots of info on how to eat well with GD. I recommend joining it. I had Gd in my last pregnancy and it helped me stay off diabetic medab

I hate pregnancy. I'm 37 weeks and know the date of my elective c-section, I am literally wishing the days away.

I've had broken skin throughout, I struggled with work, I've become anemic, I've developed both sciatica and SPD, I'm high risk, I've had constant nausea and so forth.

I never got the glow, my hair is falling out, my skin is horrifying (acne break outs on my face and back!) And I can no longer put on my shoes.

Some people breeze through pregnancy but I am not one of those.

While I am eternally grateful I can conceive and carry a baby to term, I definitely see it as a means to an end like Alis has described.

Oh I really feel for you OP. I also loathed being pregnant (hyperemesis) and couldn't wait for it to end! My two tips are 1) constantly remind yourself that it is a means to an end (and that it will end!). I found buying a little something for the baby (socks or bibs or a little toy) every so often helped. And 2) accept help when it's offered. We're all so used to being in total control of everything in our lives, and pride ourselves on being strong and powering through. If friends and family offer to to cook or clean, let them! That's also good advice for when baby arrives!
Don't listen to the twonks who tell you to enjoy your freedom, they have no clue. Good luck with everything, you've got this OP.

I agree with Sergeant - accept any and all help offered.

I also hated pregnancy. I had HG and was miserable from 5 weeks onwards.

Focus on the fact that it's a means to an end. I hope that things improve for you soon

I remember bawling my eyes out at 6 months and shrieking at DH 'Where is my glow???!!!!' I vommed constantly from 4 weeks, SPD from 10 on crutches and surviving on prawn crackers and lemon squash by 25 weeks.

I never bothered counting kicks. I understand you should but I didnt. Probably too out of it to count anyhow. I was signed off for most of the pregnancy, is this an option for you when its really bad? (hint: if you projectile vomit over the doctor they will be more amenable to signing you off and give you a lifetimes supply of those funny cardboard bowls).

DD was worth it though. And I was pleased to say she was a very easy baby. Still is compared to other toddlers I see. All my friends who had easy pregnancies had non sleeping refluxy babies. Im sure there is a connection.

I don't mind being pregnant when I'm at home, but I hate it when I'm on public transport and at work. I also feel as if it impacts on my social life and being able to go on holiday, but it is what it is.

It's grim. I'm so jealous of the women that glow and just love being pregnant.

I'm only nine weeks but I seriously hate every second, I'm exhausted and I'm really not sure I want it any more but we had a scan and dh is so excited, I feel nothing but sick and tired

You have my sympathy. I had a pregnancy similar to yours. As for tips, I agree with liquid. My boss at the time encouraged me to get signed off sick (because I was really unwell, as it sounds you are too.) I resisted it and eventually went on Mat leave early because I was induced early due to GD. Looking back, I wish I had listened. Being induced early meant I had hardly any time to rest before the baby came, and there's no way I'd have dragged myself into work if I was that unwell through any other cause. Might it be an option for you?

On the plus side, pregnancy had been so rough that having a newborn was easy in comparison.

Yes some women have a horrid time of it, but I think YABU. Focus on the fact you've managed to get pregnant and can carry a healthy baby. I assume you naturally conceived... and I also assume you desperatley want your baby.... you're lucky OP really... try to remind yourself of it. I want a baby, I can have a baby, I'm having a baby. Have a read of some of the "we've given up" threads on the infertility boards to see what could have been. It's like anything in life, you can feel shit because someone has it better than you, or you can feel grateful for what you've got. One of those leads to good mental health, the other leaves you bitter.

icy

It's really unhelpful to tell women to put up and shut up because they're "lucky". Pregnant women are allowed to have views on their pregnancy which aren't solely focused on how lucky they are.

It sucks hairy balls OP.

Counting your blessings is a widely recognised tool for promoting good mental health. There's a whole thankfulness industry. Being in a strong place mentally makes you better placed to deal with life. Focus on the positives.

I hated pregnancy - I'd redo birth any day but no money in the world could get me to do another pregnancy!! At least it has an end date :)

Is it bad enough to get signed off sick? I was off for about eight weeks before my mat leave started with dc1, as I could not cope working at all

Yes of course, but everyone is allowed a down moment even if they do have something someone else wants but can't have.

I'd do my shitty pregnancy a hundred times over because it resulted in my daughter. I am indeed grateful for it. Doesn't mean I enjoyed the experience.

YANBU. You're having it tougher than a lot of people do.
Migraines are the worst. I suffer hormonal migraines too and I've honestly thought I was dying a couple of times because they're all encompassing. The only thing that helps me is taking the medication at the first sign and then going to sleep.
Not very practical if you're working though. Can you take some time off to see if you feel better without the work stress on top of everything else?
I had gestational diabetes in my last pregnancy and whilst I was upset at the diagnosis I was able to manage it with changes in my diet alone. It doesn't always need to be awful.

I had a hard pregnancy too. But the baby made it all worthwhile. I'd give anything for another.

WeShould you do sound down hopefully you will feel better soon.

Op it can be crap can't it. I did it 4 times and by the fourth time I was on my knees knackered.

Be good to yourself and accept all help. Rest as much as you can and focus on the end product.

I'm not enjoying it much either, mainly due to lots of scans for spotting but had a scan last week (15 weeks) and the wee fella is doing grand. But it's so hard to relax. I feel like I experience every emotion every day - anxiety, elation, despair at the thought of anything going wrong, fear that I won't be a good mother.

And the only thing I'm glowing with is sweat after walking up hills! for anyone who's struggling.

I'm hating it this time round as well TBH. Enjoyed my first and second (2007/9) but this... I am ecstatic about the baby (such a cliche, surprise third child :o) but I am hating being pregnant. Nausea is constant, libido buggered off somewhere, more tired than ever (and I have ME so that's really saying something). The anxiety is far far worse than ever before as well. I was close to panic attack before my dating scan and refused to look at the screen on the wall until they said all was ok! I should be excited about my 12 week scan next week but I'm dreading it because of the worries I've got.

But all that said I know it won't affect what happens when the baby arrives. It will be worth it!

YANBU. I hated my third pregnancy so much. I had pelvic and back problems that made me unable to walk for weeks, I was massive and uncomfortable, knackered by my other kids and work, just hated every minute of it. I felt guilty too and worried that the bad vibes would affect the poor baby. He's seven now and showing no signs of this, phew!

Pregnancy can be a miserable pain in the arse, it's just a means to an end. Hope the next while goes quickly for you