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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be disappointed in some of the parenting I saw yesterday!

31 replies

Geekmama · 30/04/2017 07:46

Me,DH & DS went to the zoo yesterday. Not all of the parents, but a large majority where allowing their offspring, to bang on the animal enclosures also in some cases to climb on them and in the petting zoo allowing The children to into parts of the closure they wasn't supposed to be in and in one case trying to kick a wallaby. I also saw children trying to chase ducks and pick them up. This is not okay behaviour and in most of these examples The parents were just on there phone's Ignoring behaviour. Makes me sad that people think this is okay. AIBU to feel disappointed on the lack of parenting?

I apologise for any spelling/grammar mistakes

OP posts:
MarcelineTheVampire · 30/04/2017 07:50

YANBU it drives me insane. I've seen kids chase and kick animals at farms/parks and the same behaviours as you at zoos.

I rarely judge parents as I know how hard it is but basic respect for animals is something I have instilled in my child from an early age and I would be livid if she engaged in such behaviour and would immediately spring into action.

Original poster
Geekmama · 30/04/2017 07:56

It just made me very sad, The parents were allowing the children to do this and that they had absolutely no respect for living things! Confused

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/04/2017 07:58

I have been known to go apeshit at parents I see letting their kids kick pigeons.

Apparently it's fine because the kids are having fun and they are 'only' pigeons Confused

Makes me so angry.

Chloe84 · 30/04/2017 07:59

Did you say anything to the children/parents or complain to staff?

Stormwhale · 30/04/2017 08:01

What I don't get is why these parents pay that much to ignore their children in a different environment. Zoo ticket prices are never cheap, why don't they make the most of the experience?

And of course it isn't ok to allow your child to behave like that. A chicken died from stress a couple of years ago in a wildlife place near me because someone's little brat darling chased it until it died. What the fuck?

sirfredfredgeorge · 30/04/2017 08:02

Caged up animals have a shit enough life, so you should really be nice to them and not bang on their cages. But then adults who go to zoos presumably don't think like this or they wouldn't be going to the zoo and supporting it.

People have different views on what is acceptable, banging on a cage not acceptable, caging the animal is not acceptable, but morality is not an absolute and you cannot assume your opinion is more correct than anothers [*]. So I'm going to say YABU, even though the behaviour falls far from where I'd want, the fact that the zoo (by their inaction/facillitation) and other adults were happy with it, I've got to say maybe it is okay.

[*] Obviously some morality is almost universal, but nothing described here I think.

SiouxieQ · 30/04/2017 08:04

YANBU to only be disappointed I'd be disgusted and pretty angry.
If they can't be arsed to parent properly why have kids ffs? Some people need training and a fucking licence to be a parent.

MaisyPops · 30/04/2017 08:04

Can't stand things like that. It's like every other visitor has to put up with it too. Not only that but it shows zero respect for animals and tells kids they can act how they like.

But be prepared for the onslaught of "sometimes kids just can't behave... I'm glad your children are perfect all the time... here's a very specific situation where my child couldn't behave so now I'll have a go at OP because she just doesn't understadn".

MarcelineTheVampire · 30/04/2017 08:05

Sirfred I completely agree about caging animals, however, many zoos these days are mainly conservational.

Original poster
Geekmama · 30/04/2017 08:05

Chloe84
Yes, yes and yes! Most of the time I just got a funny look and the family moved on.

OP posts:
carabos · 30/04/2017 08:34

We were on holiday in Gibraltar one year and as always the apes were being pests very close to people, hanging about waiting for the opportunity to nick food. Lots of people were photographing themselves with them, as you would expect. However, we saw one fhild, encouraged by her parents, trying to pull a very very small baby ape off its mother's breast so she could hold it for a picture. I was horrified and told the parents off, pointing out the many signs around the place that tell you not to touch the apes. Apart from anything else, it is extremely dangerous and the little girl could have been badly hurt. They were totally "meh" about it - "it's only a monkey". Angry

Trifleorbust · 30/04/2017 08:38

I was at the zoo and I saw a parent allowing her 5/6 year old DD to chase butterflies and try to catch them in her hands. I was actually horrified.

WobblyLegs5 · 30/04/2017 08:44

I thought I was naughty letting my kids sneak dandelion leaves to the guinea pigs at a petting zoo

Atenco · 30/04/2017 09:20

It was ever thus. Apart from the harm to the animals, which is gross, the children are missing out on the opportunity to learn how to be with animals.

I remember years ago taking a bunch of city teenagers to a farm and they were all shrieking and terrifying the poor animals.

Chloe84 · 30/04/2017 12:37

Well done for speaking up, OP. Hopefully it will sink in at some point that they they are wrong.

user1493453415 · 30/04/2017 12:45

No, you are not being unreasonable. Animals need human beings to respect them and look out for them, and this becomes more important when they are in captivity.

The pigeon kicking astounds me - I always remember being told that harming animals is a red flag for further abusive behaviour against humans. It does make me wonder why some parents are so relaxed about it.

WorraLiberty · 30/04/2017 12:58

What I don't get is why these parents pay that much to ignore their children in a different environment.

So true!

Or spending more time photographing/videoing them, than actually enjoying the experience together.

Doowappydoo · 30/04/2017 12:58

Glad you complained and spoke up. I've seen this behaviour before and it's disgusting. I think zoos and petting places in general need to be a lot more vigilant. I've seen kids hammering on the glass at monkeys and apes lots of times without a member of staff in sight. We don't go anymore.

Armadillostoes · 30/04/2017 13:01

YANBU OP. I also completely agree about kicking pigeons. It shows a total lack of empathy to frighten a living creature for fun. Any parents who allow their children to torment animals in any setting deserve to be judged and judged harshly.

I8toys · 30/04/2017 13:15

YANBU - I absolutely detest this type of behavior. My judgy pants would be choking me.

Angelicinnocent · 30/04/2017 13:17

My DD volunteers at a horse and donkey rescue place. They get this type of behaviour all the time and when she tells parents to sort their DC out, she frequently gets told she's pathetic, just kids being kids etc. As she's only 15 she's also been told that she is too young to tell parents what to do. Her personal favourite is "oh it's alright" to which she usually replies "if it was alright I wouldn't be asking you to stop them doing it"

Atenco · 30/04/2017 16:36

"I always remember being told that harming animals is a red flag for further abusive behaviour against humans"

Let me defend the children here. There is a very clear difference between a child who is playing without consideration for an animal because they have never been taught and a child who sets out to hurt an animal.

Staypuff · 02/05/2017 08:41

Yanbu. The dad in the park was kicking the ducks and trying to get his three year old too. Three year old didn't want to and dad kept at it so I purposefully rammed the pram into his ankles as I moved passed. My nieve was asking why he was hurting the ducks so I told her very loudly that he was a bad man. Can't kick ducks if you are limping.

Felt sorry for his child who will grow up being taught to kick animals or yelled at for not doing it.

user789653241 · 02/05/2017 08:49

Similar view to sirfred, my dh doesn't approve existence of zoo, so we won't go there in first place.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 02/05/2017 08:50

I've been known to shout at children hurting animals. I don't give a fuck if it's not the done thing.