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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel the UK is really a bit crap?

401 replies

clogdance · 29/04/2017 21:08

We have a German exchange child staying with us. He has been learning English at school for 2 years, and is apparently not top of the class in it. He spent supper talking to me about the rights and wrongs of vegetarianism and veganism.
He also mentioned that he lives in an old house but that new houses in Germany are larger and more solidly built. Just like here then Hmm.
His family are very very pleased that they unlike us are staying in the EU. And that they, unlike us, are welcoming a very large number of Syrian refugees.
Being English feels pretty depressing.

OP posts:
Guepe · 30/04/2017 03:00

Haven't RTFT, but the house sizes thing is definitely true, the UK has the smallest average house size in Europe (a lot smaller than other countries). The weather is obviously pretty awful too.

The best things about the UK are the NHS (although let's see how long that lasts) and a fairly decent welfare state.

I've emigrated and never been happier. Given Brexit, I can't imagine coming back any time soon.

LittleKiwi · 30/04/2017 03:01

Scrabbling which other countries have you lived in?

We've lived in several, the UK was by far the worst on various counts.

Tobolsk · 30/04/2017 03:24

YANBU, we left the U.K. Haven't regretted anything

Goldfishjane · 30/04/2017 03:57

"s greener and not full of fat slobs like we have here"

Bloody hell!

I have German and Italian friends here who much prefer living in England. I haven't lived in either country so can't make a reciprocal comment. The Italian friend is gay and he feels it's much less homophobic here.

My mum is from India, she loves England so much, I can't even begin to tell you. We're in London btw - one poster mentions a town centre that sounds a bit grim so I thought I'd add that. I love the idea of rules about when people can mow lawns etc, that woukd suit me.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/04/2017 04:32

I moved back to the uk 9 years ago having left the country to live in France, Belgium and Germany. Coming home was a culture shock. I much preferred it over there. The extremes of poverty seemed much less in Germany and Belgium. Not so in France, where some live in appalling conditions.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/04/2017 04:33

Oh and I integrated just fine. Dh is French and I'm fluent and I became pretty fluent in German after 4 years.

user1491572121 · 30/04/2017 04:52

OP I LOVE my country...I love everything about it except the fact that it's nigh on impossible for the working class to make anything of themselves.

Unless you're CRAZY talented or extremely tenacious, if you grow up on a council estate, then that's pretty much where you're staying.

I grew up on a council estate. Got into a very prestigious uni, got a first class degree.

Ten years after I graduated, I was back on a council estate.

Not through want of trying to get somewhere...but without any parental cash support, it was HARD.

Now I live in Australia where things are very different.

claraschu · 30/04/2017 05:15

I find that teenagers here are much more likely to think in terms of "them and us" both when it comes to adults and when it comes to gender stereotypes.

My problem with Germany is that if you are standing on a deserted street crossing in the middle of nowhere with no cars in sight, people will still wait for the little green man. I hate mindless rule following and tutting at people who don't obey mindless rules.

claraschu · 30/04/2017 05:18

Oh another thing about Holland and Germany: they don't allow HE (there are a handful of family who defy this rule after court cases), and they have an enhanced grammar school system, which divides kids into three different school systems at the age of 11.

derxa · 30/04/2017 05:40

the north of our country wants to cut itself loose altogether
That bit is called Scotland Hmm

derxa · 30/04/2017 06:06

I can barely type for laughing. Grin Our family hosted a German exchange student. He was one of the most obnoxious people I've ever met. His parents were absolutely lovely. They lived in a beautifully built wooden house. This was over 40 years ago. The contrast between Germany and the UK then was staggering in terms of quality of life. Now not so much I should imagine.

Jellymuffin · 30/04/2017 06:18

Bullshit is Germany not racist! I lived with a German family for a while. Their teenage son was an open neo nazi and so were a lot of his friends (this was a naice middle class family) all Turkish people lived crammed together in a ghetto type neighbourhood and the daughter was forbidden to go there (coincidently she was dating one of the 'ghetto bunnies' as she called them but this was a sworn secret as her parents would have gone mental) some of their attitudes are very UK circa 1970 and their TV reflects this, im talking middle Germany here,

BoboChic · 30/04/2017 06:40

clogdance - you are absolutely right about language teaching in the UK. It is indefensible that language learning is quite so awful and that access to quality culture is quite so difficult. While I "hear" the argument that the UK is (or has been) a country that is tolerant of immigrants and other countries on its own soil, I see the other side of this "tolerance" as a lack of appreciation for and respect of high cultural standards, both native and non-native. I live in France but have spent a great deal of time in the UK every year until this year, 2017. Right now I have no desire at all to go to the UK.

Orlantina · 30/04/2017 06:58

It does seem that people aren't allowed to point out faults anymore with the UK - and if people complain about systems and unfairness, they get told to go and live somewhere else.

Question the role of the Church in the State - go and live somewhere else.

Question the role of the Monarchy? Go and live somewhere else?

Oh - and then you get told you aren't a patriot if you don't support such things.

helpmesusan · 30/04/2017 07:08

Your title mentions U.K., but your OP talks about being English.

Ffs there is a difference! Please stop conflating the two.

Aderyn2016 · 30/04/2017 07:29

I'm sure the OP knows the other nations exist! But she is English and is perfectly entitled to talk about the UK from her perspective.

bluetongue · 30/04/2017 07:42

I think that many countries can seem attractive places to live from afar or if you only holiday there. Sweden for instance looks like a socialist utopia to some but see in the living overseas section to see how many expats are miserable there. From reports I've seen they have some no go areas in some cities now too.

Switzerland might look all cuckoo clocks and chocolate but I've met a couple from England that live there now and it doesn't sound like my cup if tea. Most people live in apartments, often with a communal laundry and a list if rules as long as your arm. No thanks.

DoorwayToNorway · 30/04/2017 07:43

I thought German children started learning English at 7 (misses point).

I don't live in the UK, can't say I miss it, but it's not THAT bad. It's actually pretty good. I'd be mortified if my son went to a foreign country and slagged it off to his hosts.

WelshMoth · 30/04/2017 07:47

I love the UK for all the positive reasons mentioned above. The weather depresses me though and our education system needs an over-haul.

claraschu · 30/04/2017 07:48

Amazing how a lot of people on this thread don't seem to have any reading comprehension even in English.

The op has very clearly explained the (not very confusing) conversation she had with her polite young guest, and also her extensive experience of living in foreign parts and speaking foreign languages.

skerrywind · 30/04/2017 07:55

OP I am sorry that you feel being English depressing.

I wouldn't know.

I do love living in the UK though. I live in a huge 5 bedroomed house 20 minutes from the capital, which cost me £200K just two years ago. I live surrounded by ancient woodland, with good schools and shops within easy reach. Almost zero crime, lovely beaches within easy reach.
I have lived abroad, traveled extensively, I really can't think of anywhere better to live.

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 30/04/2017 07:56

cheese the UK is not in the Schengen area and successive governments have chosen to

-not keep track of who goes in and out
-treat freedom of movement for workers as freedom of movement for everybody
-Not to apply rules that allow countries to send workers back if they haven't found a job within x time

This is the way Britain chose to go about freedom of movement.

I can see that the myth that everyone and their dog want to come and live in the land-of-milk-and-honey UK is alive and well. It boils down to being unable to imagine / accept that anything could be beter abroad.Personally there are things that keep me here (Welsh-medium education is hard to come by elsewhere Grin) but I am open and able to making my life abroad.

KeepingitReal2 · 30/04/2017 07:56

It's UK sentiment...Brits always think grass is greener elsewhere but not always the case

derxa · 30/04/2017 07:57

I'm sure the OP knows the other nations exist! But she is English and is perfectly entitled to talk about the UK from her perspective.

Stop nit-picking and discuss the issues, or head off to one of the Rule Britannia let's start another British Empire threads.

The OP sounds like a Little Englander herself.

pipilangstrumpf · 30/04/2017 08:04

Why are so many English posters so defensive and not willing to accept that some aspects ARE better in Germany and that could be learnt from?