AIBU to feel the UK is really a bit crap?

[clogdance]

We have a German exchange child staying with us. He has been learning English at school for 2 years, and is apparently not top of the class in it. He spent supper talking to me about the rights and wrongs of vegetarianism and veganism.
He also mentioned that he lives in an old house but that new houses in Germany are larger and more solidly built. Just like here then .
His family are very very pleased that they unlike us are staying in the EU. And that they, unlike us, are welcoming a very large number of Syrian refugees.
Being English feels pretty depressing.

[GplanAddict]

I think it depends where you are. The new builds popping up in the town I live in are bloody lovely, really solidly built. Small gardens mind, and cost a fair whack!

[Degustibusnonestdisputandem]

In all honesty housing quality in the uk is pretty crap. New builds are particularly dire (i say this coming from Australia, but have travelled enough in Western Europe to see much, much nicer housing in countries with just as much, or far less space.)

[Orlantina]

and he seemed more English to be honest

But what does that mean?

You can't stereotype a whole country.

I've met loads of Germans and worked with Germans. Guess what - they're all different.

The people we met on holiday were fantastic. Very friendly, funny and great to chat to.

But I don't judge a whole country by its tourists. I also met some English people on holiday who were loud, drunk and in your face.

[PollyPelargonium52]

The worst of the UK is the cost of living and the rubbish weather. Apart from that it isn't so bad. Just not as friendly as I would like. I think the climate has a lot to do with that however.

[The80sweregreat]

clara, i wasnt having a pop at you at all - i have only met one German person and he seemed more English to be honest ( and married to an english woman) - there were a number on holiday when we went away this year and they seemed a mixture really - some were more polite than others, but that goes for any nationality. My opinion of the ones on holiday were that they were very serious, but dh said its because they are organised and efficient ( thats why he likes them!!) lol

[claraschu]

The80s I wrote what I did because I am just sick of the stories on this thread like: "I met someone who used to live in Germany and told me that Germans are very self-righteous."

I mean, we all know that there is some truth to crude national stereotypes and crude gender stereotypes, but it would be great if we could think with a bit more subtlety and nuance.

[StarHeartDiamond]

Speaking of serious, my cousin has worked extensively in America and has found most business colleagues there to be totally serious and deadpan. Not as much the general population (shop workers etc). OTOH he loved the Singaporeans and the Japanese. (This is all very general and just one persons thoughts and tongue in cheek btw) and indeed found the Japanese to be very creative thinkers and not nearly as serious.

[StarHeartDiamond]

I know a lovely German person. She is extremely serious but lovely.

[The80sweregreat]

clara, i am sure there are plenty of nice Germans. My dh has been there a lot and he said that the ones from Bavaria are usually very funny and up for a laugh. i have never been myself, but parts are meant to be really beautiful. My dh likes them, but maybe when your working along side and its a business trip everyone has to make more of an effort?

[claraschu]

I once met someone who met a nice German person! I once met a nice German person!

[The80sweregreat]

I once met a lady that was married to an Indian Doctor - i asked him if he missed it there at all and he shuddered and said 'no way, England is much better!' this was about 12 years ago now and i often wonder if he feels the same way!

[cowgirlsareforever]

When we were abroad recently my lovely DS who was 10 at the time plucked up the courage to offer a little German child a balloon he'd been given but didn't want. The German family shooed him away. It was awful. Eventually, the German family must have realised how rude they had been and called DS back.
DP who has a dark sense of humour commented on how DS had done something unique...he had made Germans feel guilty. DP is a bad, bad man.

[StarHeartDiamond]

User1487 picking up on what you said about Germans telling people about parenting - that made me smile as once on holiday our then 4yo was helping himself to orange juice from a self-serve and didn't get it quite right so tipped it out and tried to refill. Of course we went over to help but he didn't want help (independent 4yo!) so a small debate ensued. Meanwhile our 2yo also wanted to do the exciting orange thing and our 8mo baby started crying. The German family on the next table were watching us all through the meal and the father was shaking his head and tutting at our ds. My mild-mannered dh was so annoyed he asked the father if he'd like to come over to our table to discuss his thoughts. The father ignored that. The grandmother looked embarrassed. They had one quiet toddler in a high chair between the three of them (dad, mum and grandma) so of course it was easy for them to judge.

[FamilySpartan]

I thought of this thread on Saturday when I was chatting to a cab driver from Pakistan who had spent several years living in Germany before moving to the UK.

He enjoyed life more in the UK and found Brits to be more tolerant and accepting. He said that Germany lacked the diversity of the UK and the people were more hostile.

So Germany's houses are stronger but they're not very nice to foreigners. That's what I'm taking away from this....

[Mulledwine1]

Haven't read the whole thread but yes, Germans generally live in much larger houses than we do. They also have a lot more space. They also have a housing crisis. Yes, really. I was reading a local news page in the last few days and it was talking about lack of housing and its cost. It's still much cheaper than in the UK but if there aren't any houses/flats it doesn't matter how cheap they are.

This relates to the thread about large houses, but up until the early 90s at least there was a policy that if you were rattling around a large house by yourself you had to take in lodgers. My German then-boyfriend told me this. I remember being quite shocked.

Back in the day they did have a lot less regulation than we did, but I think we've caught up nicely now. But when I lived there you seemed to need a certificate for absolutely everything eg to certify how many bread rolls you'd eaten for breakfast that morning!. But we've caught up - maybe partly down to EU regulation, but we've created plenty of our own, too.

There are lots of things I like about Germany. Up until Brexit, on balance, I preferred living in the UK. Brexit changes everything. Now I am not so sure. But it's certainly a lot better than living in most countries in the world.

[DoorwayToNorway]

Well there you go, it very much depends where you live and what your life experiences are. In our small town in Brazil the children are free to play outside, my teens regularly meet their friends for ice creams, pizza's and burgers. People who move from the big cities often comment on how much better and free life is here. That just shows it depends where you are and what your experiences are. Saying all of Brazil is xy and z or that all of the UK is this because of that, is all just totally subjective and will depend on where you are and who you talk to.

[KERALA1]

Brazilian teenagers cried when they left too. They were gorgeous girls but had no freedom at all at home despite being 16 and sensible. Their fathers drive them everywhere due to crime rates. They loved the freedom of England they could meet friends, go to the cinema etc unaccompanied.

Our lovely Russia 14 year olds also wept on departure - where they live it never got above 10 degrees even in summer they all live in soviet style miserable flats and there were bears in the woods. They described our February as "warm". Honestly England is fab you are deluded to think otherwise.

[KERALA1]

They cried when they left and left us a letter saying they wished we were their parents. Dh was stricken that he wasn't nicer to them (he was quite nice to them but felt bad on seeing the letter that they were so blown away by his even basic niceness)

[user1491572121]

Kerala God I'd have loved all that bar the cake and shellsuits. I hate the noise in school, What did the Chinese students make of life at your house? Did they enjoy it?

[usernamealreadytaken]

Kerala I think we're only allowed to compare our crapness with nice progressive European countries, or other predominantly 'western' cultures. If you compare the UK with pretty much any culture outside of that narrow field of vision, the majority of people do not have nice, safe and sturdy houses, happy fun lives or progressive governments. Life for the majority of the world is hard.

[KERALA1]

We had the opposite op - Chinese exchange students. After they explained their lives our dds were and jolly grateful to be English

Boarding school in same city as parents as parents too busy to see them
Didn't see parents for 3 months at a time (12 year olds)
No talking at all on coach trips
If one of the group talked they all had to keep pencils in their mouths all day
No pudding ever
Had to wear hideous matching shell suits at all times
Never allowed out unaccompanied
4 hours of home work each night

Happy days!

[DoorwayToNorway]

JamesBlonde1
I think the problem is not so much that they don't, it's that they can't.

[IonaNE]

Millions of us have a fabulous life in the UK.
Yes, on the 3.6 days per year when the sun shines all day and the temperature is above 19 degrees celsius for most of the day and the wind does not blow your head off.

[JamesBlonde1]

Spot on Just.

[OhtoblazeswithElvira]

Tea nobody has asked you to explain yourself.

I think you were trying to say that some members of the police in Germany might be racist. I haven't got enough information to comment on that. German police would certainly not be the only police force in the world with that problem - however German police as an institution does not condone racism and racism is illegal in Germany.

What you actually did was liken the German police to Nazis. And that is very tired cliché and quite frankly offensive.

The word Aryan has very clear connotations:

While originally meant simply as a neutral ethno-linguistic classification, from the late 19th century onwards the term Aryan race has been used by people who promoted ideas about racial hierarchy, like the Nazis, who thought that the Germanic peoples were, in comparison to other peoples in the world, predominately descended from an ancient master race, whom they called "Aryan".[2] Aryanism developed as a racial ideology based on this idea.

From Wikipedia