To visit my best friend in hospital

[BillywigSting]

My best friend (known each other since we were 3, grew up together, like a sister etc) has broken her ankle in three places and is currently in hospital waiting for surgery to set it.

Wibu to visit her (tomorrow as visiting times are over now)

They haven't sent her home because she's not confident on crutches so is currently waiting for a bed on the ward.

She's said she would really appreciate the visit.

I have a 3yo ds though who I would rather not take and dp is busy tomorrow (packing up his nan's house to sell) so he would need to be home by five to look after ds

asking because I half expect dp to say leave it when I tell him I intend to visit with chocolate

How could it ever be unreasonable to visit a friend?

Strange thread. If you want to visit her then visit!

No it's not unreasonable to do that. Do you have any other childcare options? Surely DP can understand and maybe leave to pack up his nan's house earlier to make sure he is back in time?

What's the Unreasonable here? She wants a visit and you want to visit. Text tomorrow to check there is no change in plans and go when you can.

Why would it ever be unreasonable to visit a friend in hospital?

Because dp is now saying he might not be home in time to look after ds

Even a quick visit with ds in tow would surely be appreciated by your friend?

Take your son if you have too, just pack snacks, books, iPad....anything to keep him busy. I'm not sure what the big problem is tbh.

Just take your son,bring toys etc. Packing up a house is stressful enough without a deadline!

It's getting late. What time are visiting hours?

Like everyone else, can't see why you think anyone would think it could possibly be unreasonable.

I suppose I could bring ds but just think if I was in hospital and in pain i wouldn't like an energetic preschooler making a racket (he is never quiet. He doesn't sit still either).

It's not an environment I think is particularly suitable for a young child who doesn't need to be there.

Think I'll call my dad and see if he can mind ds (wish me luck he is likely to be in work and everyone else who could mind him is busy)

Absolutely visit, but do read your friend's cues - I was in her position a few months ago and though I was very grateful for visits I was in a fuck load of pain* so found people exhausting pretty quickly.

Also if you want to give gifts, a grabber thing and a soft cross body bag with long straps were invaluable to me when I got home, they meant I could pick stuff off the floor and carry things around. Other people swear by travel mugs as well, so you can drink your tea other than wobbling precariously by the counter.

*she may be in less pain because I was pregnant and denied the good meds

If I'm not mistaken your AIBU is actually asking if DP is being unreasonable in not ensuring he gets back in time. I don't think he is BU. I assume his plan was in place first and that packing up his Nan's house (after she's passed away or moved to care?) is hard enough without you insisting he's back by a certain time to visit a friend. It's nice to visit your friend, but it doesn't sound like she's ill, so I think that comes second here.

OK thanks everyone, I knew I could trust mn to give my head a wobble :)

We're pretty good at spotting each others pain cues (have offered each other painkillers without the other saying a word before) but I'll keep an extra look out.

I'm already bringing drinks and snacks but travel mug and grabber sound like great ideas.

Have someone to look after ds too.

Having been in hospital with a shattered ankle twice it is majorly boring - you can't get about so no trips to the shop or for coffee etc, only proscribed tea and food breaks - even a pop in for 5 mins with a toddler (try in a pushchair with a snack bag) would be a godsend - bring chocolate, a decent cuppa and a mag or a book from the friends shop if you can. I also appreciated travel wipes for handwashing/face freshen up, lipsalve and tissues!!

Also if she lives alone ask her if she needs anything organising at home when she gets out and offer to do her a shop if you can - it was a nightmare on my own at home - I could do everything, but at a snails pace!

She lives with her (doting) partner at home but I've offered to nip in a few times when she's home to help with a bit of housework/ make up something nice to eat etc.
Her dp has brought her a couple of books and I'm bringing earplugs and a few other bits tonight, but I'm sure a decent cuppa won't go amiss!