To ask for your honest experiences of holidaying abroad with toddler

[NoSandPlease]

DH wants us to go on holiday this summer with 22 month old DD. The thought brings me out in a cold sweat!

It's a 4 hour flight, with a coach transfer. 5-star hotel all inclusive (beach resort). He thinks it will be relaxing and good for all of us. I think it will be exhausting and very stressful.

DD hates sitting still. She wants to run, climb, explore constantly. She's a fussy eater and will only sit in a highchair for 5-10mins. She wakes around 5am every day. DH is not good with early mornings and never volunteers to get up with her at 5am (he rarely gets up before 8).

I'm worried about how we'll keep her happy on flight, coach, in hotel room, how we'll fill the time during day. I feel exhausted thinking about it!

I suggested a week in UK but DH is adamant we should go somewhere warm. I feel we should wait until she is older. I'm happy for DH to go abroad without us if he wants a relaxing beach break, but he wants us to come.

WWYD?

It'll be the same shit but somewhere hot. At least with All Inclusive someone else makes your meals so at least you'll get a break from that.
Your DH just has to be on board as you have to take turns to relax while the other is going on walks, playing in pool, etc. The days of spending all day on a lounger with a book have gone for a few years now.
We did it at 18mths and it was a bit of a shock. Not really a 'holiday iyswim.

Nightmare.

But another year will make a big difference.

Took DD 18months and it was great! She loved it, we loved it. It wasn't relaxing the way previous holidays have been but it was wonderful and fun!

A villa is definitely easier than a hotel.

We've done holidays a 2-4 hr flight away at 12, 14 and 25 months so far. The only painful one was the middle one high coincided with the side effects of her MMR kicking in. She was ridiculously unsettled and cranky, and vommed like the exorcist. The others were still good fun, albeit very different to pre kids.

Which not high!

We took our 18 month old DD to Spain (12yrs ago now) and I took one of those pop up sunscreen tents and plonked it on the beach for her to retreat into when too warm. Can you still get those? Royal blue pop up spf 50 material tents with an integral floor mat,so they're not getting sand on their hands and therefore into eyes and mouths too. Aquadoodle mats are brilliant travel toys; they fold to nothing in a suitcase / beach bag and they dry very quickly in the heat, making them instantly re-usable. Make sure you take some child sized cutlery; friends forgot to take some recently and couldn't find any to buy, making mealtimes a struggle. We went to the beach straight after breakfast and wore her out, then rested during the hottest part of the day back in the apartment. It worked for us anyway.
Go for it; you'll have fun!

Ok I've done a 9 hour drive to Cornwall with a 9 week old (lots of stops to get DS out of car seat) and a 9.5 hour flight with the same 7 month old! Both were ok and we coped as first time parents (I was particularly precious as he's a much longed for rainbow baby) then this year we have another drive to Cornwall with what will then be our 13 month old and later on a 4 hour flight with a 16 month old and I cant wait for both holidays! We live for our holidays and though each stage has had its own challenges i can honestly say I've looked forwards to each stage of development as it's approached! Currently DS is 10 months and constantly pulling himself up to standing on everything he comes across whether suitable for that purpose or not! No idea what stage he will be at re toddling at 13 or 16 month holidays but will take it as it comes and enjoy ourselves and make the best of it just relax you will have a great time but you need to unclench a bit to let yourself enjoy it!

Oh and to clarify Cornwall was a static caravan (well a fancy lodge type one) and the long haul flight was to the USA and we had a big villa,this summer will be the same again in Cornwall then the flight will be to Lanzarote and again we have a big villa. We will have our own pool and hot tub and garden as we did in the USA too. Cornwall we have a shared outdoor pool and our own garden area. I wouldn't ever go in a hotel with a little one that goes to bed early (as mine will do until late primary school age) my LO goes to bed at 7:30pm so that would be a LONG evening stuck in a hotel room!

We need more details! Destination, airline and hotel!

I would go. 4 hour flight with an iPad/colouring book/fabourite toy and the flight will go fast.

The heat makes them sleep better so you might not be awake at 5am.

You'll have a brilliant time exploring the beach/waterparks/local shops/etc. Restaurants are usually very child friendly abroad and staff are happy to make them giggle, show them things, etc.

Don't even think about it.

Jus imagine the flight! She will not sit still. She'll wriggle, she'll not want to stop moving.

It's a total waste of time and money.

We went every year when l was small and it was fantastic..Warm weather every day. We usually wrnt last week in May and l wouldnt go July or August. Dh off work so he could do all the running after them which he didnt mind. Paddling in warm sea water for hours. They never tired of that. And no cooking. Its definitely worth it. I think the dc blossom there as we get little sun in lreland..Just do it. You cant limit your own life because of a toddler. Take a shorter flight maybe. I recommend Majorca.

Just to add, while I agree villa/self catering apartment can be better in terms of space and not being stuck in one room, you need to be on the same page before you go about how you're going to feed everyone. I'm a Sahm and do the vast majority of cooking at home. I am not prepared to spend my holiday in the kitchen so if we go self catering it's on the basis that we eat out and/or DH cooks.

We're going to an AI in Cyprus this summer with DC, 7, 4 and 1. It will NOT be relaxing, holidays with young kids never are. But it will be lots of fun!

Exactly what is it you are worried about? You say you don't want to be running from the playground but if that's how DD is, then that is presumably what you would be doing at home? Just in slightly different surroundings?

It's the extra stress that puts me off. Home feels 'safe'. I can put CBeebies on and she can play, run, climb, explore in a safe environment. We have friends and toddler groups. A beach resort is full of unfamiliar risks. I don't think it will be fun running after her in the heat. At the moment I'm constantly saying 'wait /don't run on the wet floor/don't eat the stones/take that out of your mouth/mind the step/look where you're going/don't run up to strangers and poke them' etc. She seems to have no sense of danger.

DH has never volunteered to do an early start. He did get up at 5am when I was ill, but I had to ask. He says he will help on holiday but I can't see him getting up at 5am. If he helped more at weekends (eg used initiative rather than waiting for me to delegate tasks) I'd feel more confident about a holiday.

We've been for hotel weekends away in U.K. I found them stressful and tiring. When she was a baby it was easier, but now she's into everything, tantrums at having to sit still/wait/eat out. I hate the hours of entertaining DD in hotel room before DH wakes up (he can sleep through anything and is grumpy all day if woken too early). I hate tag-teaming to get food at buffet breakfast, then leaving after 10mins because she's screaming and throwing jam.

Maybe I just need to relax more or get stronger meds? I'm still on meds for PND/anxiety. DH thinks I'm being selfish to deny us a sun holiday.

Thanks for all your advice and experiences

Selfish for denying us a sun holiday? Your DH is being a cock. He wants a week in the sun farting about drinking beer whilst you do the donkey work. if he wants a sun holiday, be could book DC and him a week off without you - funnily enough I can't see him being too keen on that....

Best holiday at that age for our kids was a week in Norfolk, self catering. A lovely deli at the bottom of the street for take out coffee, croissants a d goodies for lunch, and lots of fish and chips for tea. Easy to nip home for a lunchtime nap, steam trains, crabbing and beaches during the day.

Ours were okay on flights for about an hour at that age, any longer would have been a nightmare.

I do note lots of comments like 'favourite toy' 'dh did all the running' - this is not going to be your experience.

I would say let dh take dd and you have a lovely rest at home but I just wouldn't have done that as I think ds would have been in genuine danger.

A child focused resort in may or June might just work but get his agreement to alternate lie ins, including taking dd out, not just falling asleep on the sofa while she injures herself or wakes you up.

Personally, I think it's fair to say that when kids are very young its just same shit, different location!!!

The kids will be the same amount of work that they are at home, so in one sense - why not go?

I can see though, that the travel might be a bit torturous, but plenty of people must do it. It can't be that bad!!

When DS was younger, I used to take him to Europe by car as I decided that was going to be the best and easiest way for me. I'm a single parent and wanted the freedom that gave me. We went to eurocamp and there was always plenty on for the kids to do, and even kids camp that would give me a couple of hours break in the day!!

I worked in travel industry when I first had dd so we went abroad a lot from when she was 3 months and I was a single mum so just me and baby/toddler. It was easy and all inclusive was great. At home she was a 5am I'm awake baby abroad I would have to wake her. She wouldn't go to baby club as too clingy but was happy splashing in baby pool, playing in park or playing on the beach. She would nap for 2 hours after lunch ( I had a child who dropped her naps at home before her first birthday) I would let her sleep in her buggy in the shade whilst I relaxed in the sun. Mini disco and entertainment in the evening.

I did take a portable DVD player and lots of peppa pig to entertain her in the room if needed and she had her doll, buggy and colouring to play with too.

Holidays with little people easier than young teens who have the favourite saying - I'm bored!

Don't go, you'll have spent a fortune to have a miserable time.

We had good holidays when DD was that age - it was between 3 and 5 that she was a nightmare, and I started a thread on here asking if I was BU not to want any more family holidays - but that's because DH did half the work, and we always had two hotel rooms if we had to stay in a hotel. DH and I alternated being in with DD so that we took it in turns to do early wake-ups and night wakings, and both got some reliably good sleep too. We also didn't go anywhere really hot or a long flight: we did mainly city breaks, and made sure we built in stuff DD would like (boats were always a great hit).

It doesn't sound as though your DH would be prepared to do any of that. What is he actually prepared to do to make this a holiday for you too? I'm a night owl too, but no-one gave me the option of getting out of all the early morning wake-ups because of it!

Honestly? We had a brilliant time, but you do look longingly at the sun loungers and remember lying on them with a book and a cocktail. Not running around trying to stop a toddler from drowning itself/falling down steps/having a meltdown over the strange sand stuff on day one/eating the strange sand stuff on day two/hoping it won't poo in the less than robust swim nappy with one hand and rub sun cream on it with the other.

BUT totally worth it. It's still lovely to be away and spend time together and the toddler will hopefully really enjoy the pool and/or beach. That was what made it for me, seeing her little face as she pointed at the beach and the pool

DH thinks I'm being selfish to deny us a sun holiday.
Well, he is being selfish for not sharing the parenting (as your short breaks away have made quite clear). It's only going to be any sort of holiday for you if he pulls his weight.
Grumpy if he's woken too early??? It's he a teenager? What about you not wanting to be woken to early?
And he thinks you're selfish! I have no words.

It will probably be better than you think. We've taken ours abroad since my youngest was 1 and my older son was 3 with no problems. My DH is hands on so we took one each on the flight. If you check the times before you go it might be better to try and get night flights so yours would sleep. One year our flight was at midnight and my DD slept the whole way. When they were 1 and 3 we went to Salou which was only 2 1/2 hrs we went in May the hotel was fab and I took the pram so I could put DD in it at night and there were lovely long walks along the front and she would often fall asleep. Their routine will be a bit out of sorts but that is what holidays are all about and you might find they sleep longer in the morning or in the afternoon. That holiday we even managed to take them to Barcelona on a bus from Salou. Kids are very adaptable and love new experiences . I wouldn't let it put you off but I would be really clear with DH in advance that he will need to give you a hand. He could walk your wee one in the pram and let you have a rest xxx

Ps I would agree about it being easier than with teens!!!! They don't want to do anything we want to....

I'm with you OP sounds hard work. Holiday with my young children is not my idea of a relaxing holiday. Only now they're 3 and 5 I'd consider a longish holiday abroad.

We've done lots of UK holidays which have lovely aspects but basically I come home more exhausted with a ton of washing and organising to do.

I personally prefer a whole load of day trips and stay at home. Bah humbug.

I think my last post may have sounded like I was on the side of don't go. After the 18mth holiday we did continue each year after so I don't think it could have been too bad! Each holiday has got better actually and DC really look forward to holidays abroad now.
The issues you've raised are pretty realistic, but I think the issue is not the holiday, the age of baby or your anxiety. The issue is the lack of help your anticipating from your DP. If you had him onside the other issues are easily tackled together.
Have you raised your concerns 're lack of help from him?
Tbh the issue is not just for a two week jaunt but the other 50 weeks too.
It sounds exhausting.