To ask for your honest experiences of holidaying abroad with toddler

[NoSandPlease]

DH wants us to go on holiday this summer with 22 month old DD. The thought brings me out in a cold sweat!

It's a 4 hour flight, with a coach transfer. 5-star hotel all inclusive (beach resort). He thinks it will be relaxing and good for all of us. I think it will be exhausting and very stressful.

DD hates sitting still. She wants to run, climb, explore constantly. She's a fussy eater and will only sit in a highchair for 5-10mins. She wakes around 5am every day. DH is not good with early mornings and never volunteers to get up with her at 5am (he rarely gets up before 8).

I'm worried about how we'll keep her happy on flight, coach, in hotel room, how we'll fill the time during day. I feel exhausted thinking about it!

I suggested a week in UK but DH is adamant we should go somewhere warm. I feel we should wait until she is older. I'm happy for DH to go abroad without us if he wants a relaxing beach break, but he wants us to come.

WWYD?

We went on holiday to Cyprus with 18mo DS (who was a nightmare and also woke at 5am). The only thing he wanted to do on the 4 hours flight was kick the seat of the poor person in front of us and we had to take it in turns holding his legs...

It was not fun nor relaxing and we vowed never to go on a non-car holiday again until he was much older.

We then went to Antigua when (very relaxed) DS2 was 2 and a half and it was equally awful. He took a big dislike to the waves and got very cross if we sat near them in our very very expensive beach front hotel.

Personally, I would leave your DD with someone else (if you have a nice grandparent who will have her) and have a nice holiday without her and then take her on a short break to a sandy beach in the UK - poole etc.....or center parcs are good for little ones.....or brittany?

It's ok. Although we drove to France or Italy so we didn't have to fly. Driving gave us the freedom to stop when we liked, and we installed a portable DVD player in the car to keep DD occupied. Once she hit 4 we took a long haul flight and she was absolutely fine - good as gold, in fact. She'd have struggled as a toddler though as she was also very active.

I think if your DH is hands on and will do his fair share of following your toddler up and down the plane aisle, and do his bit on the holiday, you'll have a nice time. However, If you end up doing the bulk of the childcare while he relaxes with a beer it will be horrendous. (DH tried this on our first holiday and needed to be called out on it - he did up his game when I challenged him, otherwise I'd have spent the whole holiday planning to LTB!)

...also we did self catering in villas for extra freedom

Heat wasn't an issue as we kept her in shade and brought a "pop up" kids sun shelter with us - the beauty of driving is you can take everything you need and also have your own car to go on trips to shops/excursions

We went when DS was about that age. It was good and as long as you have some times when you all play as a family, then times when mummy can have some me time while daddy plays and vice versa. Agree to take it in turns beforehand.

Took DC1 away aged 19m and it was fine, but he was the most easy going toddler!

We went self catering.

Worst thing was the delay on the flight out (2h, in our seats, on the plane - nightmare!!)

Best thing was an hour in the pool and he'd nap for 3 hours

He was a good sleeper so no issue there, and he was fine in restaurants.

We took a cheap stroller so he could sleep in there and we could have a nightcap on the way home.

No way would I take DC2 away, she is 23 months and she would be a horror.

Also an I pad or similar on the plane is your friend. We got DS
some kids earphones so he did not disturb other passingers with pepper pig and got him used to them before the flight

I suppose if you're all in one hotel room he will be forced to wake up when you do.

i think holidays with young children are more about a change of scenery than relaxing. My eldest was one of those early rising toddler that didn't sit still. I remember going away for a hotel holiday with extended family.when he was a toddler. I was assured that we could put him in a pushchair, wheel him around for a bit and he would sleep whilst we had an evening meal out Apparently he would enjoy playing by the pool with a few toys

The year after we switched to self catering apartments, villas, lodges & mobile homes in holiday parks with lots of facilities.

For a hotel I would look for one that had places you could potter to with a toddler, like play park or beach. That way before breakfast you can take it in turns to take her for a 20 min stroll to beach etc before breakfast. I suppose that's why holiday villages and even camping in Europe suited us. It's nice to be cooked for but with my eldest the choice was:

A. wake up in hotel room, try to keep him quiet, take to breakfast where it's constant battle to keep him seated.
B. wake up, let him wander about, walk him to the site bakers to buy fresh pain au chocolate, let him play outside whilst we eat outside.

Make sure your dp does as much parenting as you. Entertaining at 6am, be the one to keep an eye out at the pool.

When we took 18 month old DS on holiday with a four hour flight we planned really well for the outbound flight- lots of small toys wrapped up to entertain him at intervals, snacks etc but we completely forgot about the flight home. He was brilliant on the way out as everything was a novelty but on the way home after a week out of his usual routine things were much harder and we didn't have anything up our sleeve to keep him distracted.

I took mine abroad younger than that and had a fabulous time.

They really enjoyed it and so did I!!

Exactly what is it you are worried about? You say you don't want to be running from the playground but if that's how DD is, then that is presumably what you would be doing at home? Just in slightly different surroundings?

You may well find that she settles to one activity far better when it's something really new.

Do it and have fun!

Airport: encourage running, exhaust her.
Plane: get fun sandwich bags. Fill with shitloads of crap eg a few rice cakes, box of raisins, fuckton of haribo. Dispense. Allow unlimited tablet use, buy peppa pig magazine with accompanying plastic junk.

Pray.

Have you taken her away anywhete already? Go away for a UK weekend first
Nice hotel pool play park.
Tell your dh it will be so relaxing
See how it works in a different place in hotel room.
Learn what works.
See if he gets up and takes dd for nice 6 am walk in hotel grounds....

Sorry, I didn't realise you hadn't booked it yet. DON'T DO IT.
As a compromise set a 2hr flight limit but start your bartering position on the golden Sandy beaches of Bournemouth, Weymouth etc.
See you on the isle of wight!

You might decide a self catering apart with option of food is better way forward....

Have a look at baby friendly boltholes and tots travel websites. Go somewhere that is a villa within a resort. A hotel room would be utter hell. You need space. You don't want to be sat in the dark trying to beg them to sleep.

I think money has a lot to do with it. If you can stand to burn the cash then crack on and if it's rubbish then lesson learnt. If it's not then brilliant. We can't afford to just throw money away on a rubbish holiday so are very picky about what we do. Majorca ticks pretty much every box.

Self catering for freedom but only if all the adults get downtime. Other than that, great. Small children have a knack for new things as so many things are. Engage with the child as much as you can for flights tag team ftw.
Don't stress. Don't expect to do all the sight seeing. Children interact brilliantly even with language barriers. Find a local playground, go to the beach, play by the pool. It'll be great.

This is very interesting. I'm flying to Salou with an 18 month old next week. I'm taking my in-laws

I hated it. Sorry. No entertainment on the flight there, in theory there were seat-back screens on the way back but as we sat down the crew announced they were all broken. Ds constantly up and down the plane aisles for 4.5 hours, and I took Playdoh which was reasonably successful for intensive bouts of about ten minutes at a time, ds wasn't at a colouring/sitting kind of stage (still never has been really). Private transfer was good. Villa with unfenced pool and door to said pool that ds quickly learned to open - I think we had to lock it all the time and sit indoors without nice breeze coming through. Or it was unlockable and we had to put furniture in front of it. Something like that. Open marble staircase with a flight of stairs without even a wall next to it and no way of cutting off access to that either. Kitchen with no way of shutting off access to the cooker etc. DH ill all week, and by ill I mean he was in bed constantly except for approx 4pm to 8pm most days. DS fell in the pool during the one hour in the entire week when DH was explicitly supposed to be looking after him while I had a break, as he lay down on a sun lounger and went to sleep. [This has become an anecdote about how amazing daddy was to rescue him from the pool - I grit my teeth during repetitions of this]. I took ten pieces of brio and a few trains, and this was fairly helpful in the literally constant ds-watching. There was no TV to speak of - one channel showing hours of a local festival IIRC - no dvd player or anything like that. We went to some interesting sights but I was so, so knackered all the time and ds was too small to do much but march rapidly through them.

It didn't help that we went so out of season that even in a hot country it was too cold to swim. Food was fine.

Get your dh to talk you through exactly how he envisages a typical day. And not too much of 'it'd be fine' and 'chill out' either. What would he, you and dd be doing? Who would do all the organising, packing etc? Which activities does he envisage your dd enjoying at her age? Does the resort actually cater for them?

Like anything, it is what you make of it! If you don't try you'll never know.
Agree to take turns with yor husband. Take a push chair that you can keep with you till you get on the plane. Make sure it's a kid friendly hotel, with a nice pool, maybe a soft play or park? I loved my holiday with my 16 month old last year and we are going again this year! It isn't relaxing as it would be pre children, but you can chil out and sleep when they nap, and as for the food issue - let her eat whatever she wants on holiday!

Days out work best for us. Get the kids out and looking at or doing things. You can come back quite late and they are tired enough to sleep! We went to Barcelona just over a week ago and only had the first day at the hotel, everyone would have got bored and restless otherwise. One day we headed out to Montserrat by train in the late morning and got back at almost 10pm. The boys are 6 and 19m. It is harder work than pre kids but definitely still fun.

Thinking out loud. Again if you do go for a hotel, even AI, it's nice to be in walking distance of a small town. A morning, or early evening walk along a promenade to grab an icecream can help.

I thought all toddlers were really active and didn't sit still?! All the ones I've met anyway.

Worst thing was the delay on the flight out (2h, in our seats, on the plane - nightmare!!)

When I was 7 months pregnant we flew with DD1 (17 months). We were initially delayed for 3 hours, then our flight we diverged to France, and we sat on the runway for 3 hours while they repaired a mechanical fault, then they decided they couldn't repair it and we we taken off the plane to sit in the airport for 5 hours before another flight was found. 11 hours delay in all. That was tough going, but still didn't put me off!

*was diverted

Honestly. Don't bother this year. Next year go and you will have a ball. But this year would be pretty hellish unless you get absolute commitment from your DH that he does st least 50% of the kiddy wrangling. Inc getting up early, finding appropriate food, doing sun cream etc etc.

We have two like yours. Myself and DH has sworn off holidays abroad (just keeping them in the queue at the airport would be bad enough!) and we have booked a self catering apartment at Butlins. Lots of free activities, plus a separate sitting room to relax in, for when they go to bed. It's not a holiday we would have chosen pre-kids, but it's the least stressful option for us now.

Think in terms of what would make a holiday enjoyable for you and take it from there.

And do you know, we had the best holiday ever in Cornwall in April 2 years ago with twins that age. Nice house, not too hot, babysitting a couple of nights so we could do some adult chat, Sainsburys delivery to the door the morning we arrived. Honestly UK self catering is easy and simple and familiar and you can stop the car if the go batshit. Abroad is lovely but space and blackout lining and not sharing a room is much better at that age!